


Time Brings All Things To Pass

by toomanyunfinishedfics



Series: New Game+ [5]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: And post-timeline #100 equals soft, Angst, Anxiety, But basically pre-timeline #100 equals suffering, But if I missed anything that should be tagged please lmk and I'll add it!, Everything else should be fine to read outside of the usual previously mentioned NG+ warnings, F/F, F/M, Fluff, For both my NG+ series and for P5 vanilla, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I would tag all of the prompts but 100 prompts is way too many to tag lmao, Just the usual basic NG+ series tags lmao;;, M/M, Mainly Major Character Death and some slight descriptions of violence & blood/gore, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of character death & suicide for prompt #14, Mentions of suicide for prompt #29, Mentions of/allusions to suicide, Minor P5S spoilers for prompt #13, New Game Plus, Prompt #30 is The Bad Timeline so just go into it expecting bad things lol, Spoilers, Temporary major character death for prompt #10, The decapitation bit will make sense in context lmao but it's definitely one of the darker chapters, The tags make this fic seem horrible, This collection is going to be a roller coaster, Warnings for decapitation and major character death for prompt #47, but really I'm just tagging all the bad stuff to be on the safe side lmao, with how often I'm going to be jumping between timelines lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 78
Words: 50,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanyunfinishedfics/pseuds/toomanyunfinishedfics
Summary: A collection of painful times long gone, as well as some glimpses into a much more pleasant future for both Akira and all the people he holds dear.(100 prompt drabble fic challenge for my NG+ series)
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Niijima Makoto/Okumura Haru, Persona 5 Protagonist & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji, Sakamoto Ryuji & Phantom Thieves of Heart, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann
Series: New Game+ [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1088169
Comments: 364
Kudos: 181





	1. First Kiss (Timeline #1, 12/2016)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I know I already have [Moments In Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20476217/chapters/48586502), but I’ve been working on a [100 prompt challenge](https://www.evernote.com/shard/s310/client/snv?noteGuid=f751120a-946f-439c-90c6-167ffbdec034&noteKey=56e21c9b56b70738&sn=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.evernote.com%2Fshard%2Fs310%2Fsh%2Ff751120a-946f-439c-90c6-167ffbdec034%2F56e21c9b56b70738&title=100%2Bprompt%2Bchallenge%2B%2528updated%2Bjan%2B2020%2529) ~~with prompt #98 swapped out for a different T-rated prompt~~ for my NG+ universe as a sort of writing exercise, so I figured instead of dumping them in my other fic I would just make a separate one for these, since a lot of them are just going to be super short drabbles compared to the longer fics in MIT lmao;; It's my goal to finish writing these prompts by the end of the year (even if it's probably going to take longer than that to actually post them all lol), so hopefully starting to post some of them will give me the push that I need to get through the last... 60-something prompts that I have left to write lskdfj;;
> 
> I’m trying to stick to a pattern for every 10 prompts, with 5 Pegoryu ones set in timeline #100 (some set during TMF and some set post-TMF), 3 random ones set before timeline #100, 1 set in timeline #100 featuring either Akira or Ryuji with another PT member, and 1 set in timeline #100 featuring a different, non-Pegoryu ship ~~to try and get in a little practice for writing different ships lol;;,~~ so hopefully these will be interesting and a bit different to read! ;u; I was also going to post them in sets of ten and just add them onto MiT, but I figured with how much the prompts jump around between timelines it might get too confusing that way asdfj and I didn't want to randomly add 100 chapters onto MiT, so here we are with a brand new fic lol
> 
> Also, I don’t think I’m going to have a set posting schedule for these, because I’m still not even halfway through writing them yet, but I’ll try my best to post at least two or three per week otherwise it’s going to take years to get through posting all 100 of these asdflkj
> 
> For anyone who needs, I've also included a general timeline #100 recap with all of the stuff original to my fic ~~since I'm going to be throwing around a _lot_ of dates in this drabble collection~~, to hopefully make it a bit easier to follow where Akira and Ryuji are mentally and emotionally for each of the timeline #100 prompts lol:  
> 04/11/2016 - Start of the time loop  
> 05/07/2016 - Akira tells Ryuji about the time loop  
> 07/2016 - Akira & Ryuji’s first date, Ryuji realizes and admits to himself that he’s in love with Akira  
> 10/2016 - Ryuji confesses his feelings to Akira, post-interrogation room (interrogation room happened in October, not November)  
> 01/2017 (around the last week) - Akira gets released from solitary confinement, spends about a month afterwards recovering  
> 03/2017 (around the first week) - Akira gets his parents to release legal custody of him with Sojiro and Sae’s help, and is adopted into the Sakura family and gets to stay in Tokyo  
> 03/20/2017 - Time loop ends  
> 04/2017 (first week) - Futaba starts her first year at Kosei (as a 2nd year student, it’s just her first year going to school)  
> 04/2017 (second week) - Akira starts his first ever year as a 3rd year student at Shujin, is in the same class as Ryuji and Ann  
> 04/2017 (towards the end of the month) - Akira pays off all of the Sakamoto’s debts as a birthday present to Ryuji’s mother; he gets the idea to propose to Ryuji and almost immediately calls Ann to help him pick out a ring  
> 05/07/2017 - Akira proposes to Ryuji, Ryuji says yes (of course)  
> 05/2017 (end of the month) - P5D fic, Akira says goodbye to Lavenza for (what he believes to be) the final time, Makoto and Haru officially get together  
> 07/24/2017 - P5S starts

Akira’s very first kiss with Ryuji was a spur of the moment action, befitting of the entire relationship between the two of them: they never stopped to think around one another, merely  _ feeling _ and  _ experiencing _ each moment like it was their last, knowing that they would have each other’s backs no matter the outcome.

They had just escaped Shido’s palace, Ryuji was  _ alive _ , and all Akira could think to do was grab him by the front of his shirt and slam their lips together in a heated kiss that immediately silenced everyone’s scolding and emotionally-charged yelling. A few seconds passed where Ryuji was limp against him from shock, and for a moment Akira feared he’d done the impossible and ruined everything between himself and his best friend--but then Ryuji was suddenly gripping him back and returning the kiss like Akira was his only lifeline, and suddenly everything was  _ right _ in the world.

Even as they broke apart from the kiss, and even as everyone else crowded in around them in a pile of hugs and relieved tears now that the anger had faded, all Akira could think as he pressed himself close to Ryuji was that things were finally going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm so sorry that the opening fic note is longer than the drabble itself asdlfkj whoops;;~~


	2. Morning (Timeline #100, 05/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to see that people aren't sick of this AU yet adsfkj thank you guys for such a great response to the first drabble, and I hope you enjoy all the ones to come! ;u;

Waking up in the morning was always an arduous process for Akira.

Even before the time loop, he’d always been slow to wake up--but the more timelines he suffered through, the harder it became to drag himself out of sleep (the few times he managed to actually fall asleep and stay asleep to begin with, without being jolted awake by nightmares), and the more difficult it was to reorient himself once he finally managed to force himself back to consciousness.

So many memories. So little hope. It was a wonder how Akira was able to wake up at all, day after day, month after month, year after year.

Until the one hundredth timeline. The  _ final _ timeline.

It was still difficult to remember when and where he was each time he woke up, but the befuddlement clouding his mind was quick to clear as soon as he saw Ryuji, or felt their bodies pressed close together, or heard Ryuji’s breathing or his voice, or felt Ryuji’s fingers in his hair, or--

Well, anything to do with Ryuji, really.

And now the time loop was over, and Ryuji was still with him, and they were  _ engaged _ , and suddenly Akira had one more thing to help ease the transition between sleeping and waking sitting comfortably on his ring finger.

He wasn’t sure he would ever be a morning person--at least, not to the extent that Ryuji was--but if waking up every morning from here on out would be as pleasant as these past few months had been, then Akira had a feeling he could learn to love mornings.


	3. After School (Timeline #100, 04/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you couldn't already tell, I love Akira and Futaba's sibling relationship so much ;u;

“ _ Seriously _ , Akira?”

Futaba hid her face in her hands in embarrassment, trying and failing to ignore her adoptive older brother standing at Kosei’s front gates waiting for her with a bright grin.

“Did you really think I would miss out on seeing you as soon as you finished your first day of high school?”

“ _ High school! _ ” Futaba repeated with a huff. “I’m not a little kid!”

“So how was it?” Akira asked, completely ignoring Futaba’s flustered protests. “Did you have fun? Did you make any friends yet?”

Futaba groaned. “Akiraaaaa!!”

“Seriously, though…,” Akira began, his expression sobering slightly, “did everything go alright? No one gave you any trouble, did they? What about the teachers, did you have any problems with any of them?”

Futaba's expression softened slightly at Akira’s clear concern, and she let out a long, faux-exasperated sigh.

“You’re like an overprotective mom, I swear,” Futaba teased lightly, giving him a reassuring smile as she added, “No problems to report so far, Leader, but I’ll be sure to let you and everyone else know if I have any trouble. I promise.”

Akira relaxed slightly with a smile of his own. “Good, I’m glad.”

“Did you seriously have to meet me  _ here _ to ask me all that, though?” Futaba complained weakly. “You could’ve asked at home, you know. NPCs are looking at us!”

Akira looped his arm through Futaba’s, mischief shining in his gaze.

“What kind of older brother would I be if I didn’t completely embarrass you on your first day of school?”

Futaba let out another groan and sulked, though there was a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she leaned against Akira’s side. “I hate you.”

“Love you too, ‘taba.”


	4. Welcome Home (Timeline #100, 04/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-canon fluff is so much fun to write, especially for this AU ;u;

While the concept of change still unnerved Akira, he found that he was slowly but surely beginning to adapt as one year passed into the next--no doubt because, aside from a few bumps in the road (some significantly larger than others), all of the changes he’d begun to experience over the past two years were things that he’d only ever dreamed of: being in a relationship with Ryuji, changing his fate, breaking free of the time loop, moving on to his third year of high school, getting  _ engaged _ to Ryuji, graduating high school, and now starting university and--most importantly--moving into an  _ apartment _ with Ryuji.

How could Akira not accept the idea of change when it brought so many incredible new experiences into his life?

The move itself had been challenging for Akira--if only because of the fact that LeBlanc had been his  _ home _ for so long that he couldn’t even begin to picture living anywhere else--but now that he and Ryuji had unpacked and set up everything in their new apartment, Akira felt a warmth settling into his chest as it sank in that this was his reality now. He was  _ living with Ryuji _ , something that two years ago he wouldn’t have even dared to hope for.

For so long, all he’d wanted was a quiet, domestic life: just him and Ryuji together, sharing each moment from the first _good morning_ to the last _goodnight_ , making memories and basking in each other’s presence uninterrupted….

As if reading his mind, Ryuji slipped his arms around Akira, pulling him back to lean against him as he pressed a kiss to his cheek and murmured, “Welcome home.”

Here in this new, unfamiliar apartment, wrapped up in Ryuji’s familiar embrace--old yet new, stasis and change mixed together, the fine line that Ryuji always seemed to be able to walk with ease just for him--Akira felt a rush of love, appreciation, and peaceful contentment wash over him as he turned just enough to press a light kiss to Ryuji’s lips.

Though LeBlanc had been his physical home, he knew that here--in Ryuji’s arms, by Ryuji’s side, sharing the same space as him--would always be where he was truly at home.


	5. Goodnight (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the mood whiplash begins lmao

There was no in-between when it came to Akira’s sleep schedule: either he spent the timeline in a frenzy, doing everything in his power to squeeze every last second out of every day until his body gave out on him, or he could hardly even drag himself out of bed as one day bled into the next, because what was the point of trying anymore?

Either way, Morgana--whenever Morgana came to live with him, which didn’t happen every timeline--was never happy with his self-destructive habits, regardless of which end of the manic depressive spectrum Akira found himself on each time around.

“Akira,” Morgana began warningly, batting a tool out of Akira’s shaking hands and stopping him mid-construction of what was probably the hundredth infiltration device that night. “That’s enough. Go to  _ sleep _ .”

“Not tired,” Akira replied, which was probably a moot point when his vision was blurring enough that he couldn’t even find the tool that Morgana had swatted away on him. “Just… just one more, we need everything we can to get through--”

He paused, his head spinning. Which palace were they working on again? Who was a part of their team this time around?

Maybe he needed to get some sleep after all. He couldn’t afford to lose it, not while someone was around to observe his grip on reality slipping. That meant he would have to explain why he struggled to keep his memories straight, which meant he would have to confess about the time loop, and then yet another timeline would be ruined and he would have to force another reset to try again.

Not that it mattered, in the end. He’d already long since accepted that no matter what he did or didn’t do, nothing was going to break him free from this hell. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he still felt compelled to try.

“ _ Akira _ .”

Akira let out a long sigh and forced himself up to his feet, just barely keeping a grimace off of his face as his vision swam from the sudden movement.

No matter what he said, he really  _ was _ tired--but it wasn’t the kind of exhaustion that sleep could fix, no matter how much Morgana nagged at him.

He was tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of  _ living _ .

Yet he kept on going anyway, because he had no other choice. If anything, it was even worse when he tried to sit around and waste his time away: at least if he kept himself busy to the point of passing out, he could sometimes get lucky enough to experience a few hours of sleep that weren’t plagued with horrifically traumatic memories. Granted, it was never a  _ restful _ sleep, but it was better than spending the night tossing and turning as he mentally relived each and every death he’d seen and experienced--or each and every moment that Ryuji unknowingly broke his heart by falling in love with someone other than him.

Not that there was much of his heart left to break, really. His heart was just about as shattered as his mind at this point.

Numbly, Akira went through the motions until he was dragging his body into his poor excuse for a bed--the only bed he could remember anymore, after decades of sleeping on nothing but a mattress on top of some crates--and pulling the covers up over himself.

Morgana, for his part, seemed to be satisfied as he curled up next to Akira on the bed, completely oblivious to the thoughts and feelings going through Akira’s mind.

“Goodnight, Akira.”

Akira closed his eyes, and braced himself for yet another torturous night of restless sleep.

“Goodnight, Morgana.”


	6. Sleepy (Timeline #100, 06/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is basically a thematic parallel to prompt #5, because I had to make it up to Akira and make him happy after making him suffer in the last drabble ;_;

Even after a month of being together with Ryuji in this comfortably vague, physically affectionate relationship of more than friends yet not explicitly boyfriends, being able to actually sleep without nightmares and memories plaguing his mind was still such a foreign concept to Akira.

Yet whenever Ryuji held him, whenever he rested his head against Ryuji’s chest, whenever he felt Ryuji’s fingers in his hair, whenever he felt Ryuji’s lips pressing against his own… it was as if his mind was wiped clean of all coherent thought, leaving behind nothing but peace, contentment, and a warmth that was quick to ease him into a blessed,  _ safe _ sleep.

“Dozing off again?”

Akira let out a quiet yawn that faded into a soft hum, nuzzling against Ryuji’s chest and sighing in pleasure as Ryuji toyed with his hair, the light vibration of Ryuji’s chest under his head from his soft chuckles bringing a content smile to Akira’s face.

“Go ahead, I’m not going nowhere.” Ryuji pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and Akira felt his heart melting along with any remaining tension in his body, leaving him practically limp in Ryuji’s arms.

It wasn’t because he was tired--though he  _ was _ tired, too, after going decades upon decades without proper rest--but rather because he was just so relaxed in Ryuji’s arms, like a cat curling up in a patch of sunlight (because that’s what Ryuji  _ was _ , he was warmth and light and sunshine incarnate), that he constantly found himself drifting off without even realizing.

The fact that Ryuji was willing to indulge him like this and let him rest in the first place also helped. Never in any other timeline had he been able to let his guard down like this, nor did he have anyone that he  _ wanted _ to let his guard down around like this other than the blond-haired angel holding him close.

So he closed his eyes, letting out one more quiet yawn as he snuggled closer to Ryuji, and let himself drift off into blissful unconsciousness in the arms of the love of his life.


	7. Everyday (Timeline #100, 04/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll ever get tired of writing Akira being a lovestruck sap over Ryuji, so I hope everyone doesn't get tired of reading it lmao

It was official: Akira had died and gone to heaven.

Granted, he’d thought the same thing the first time Ryuji had kissed him, and all the times over the past two years that Ryuji had spoiled him rotten with the affection that he’d been so starved for throughout the past century, and the first time Ryuji told him he loved him (and all subsequent times that Ryuji told him he loved him), and the moment he realized he’d truly broken free of the time loop, and the moment that Ryuji had accepted his marriage proposal, and--

Well, there were a lot of times when Akira felt as though he’d finally managed to make it to heaven after living through hell for so long, but this? This trumped everything, if only because it encompassed everything he’d always hoped for and more.

Living with Ryuji was--both figuratively and literally--a dream come true.

That wasn’t to say that they really did all that much together, so far: hardly two days had passed since they got settled into their apartment, with the first day consisting of unpacking and situating themselves before collapsing in exhaustion onto their new bed and passing out, and the second day completely devoted to the housewarming party that their friends had thrown in celebration of what they all knew Akira had wanted for so long.

It was such a simple thing to desire, but in the end, Akira was just a simple person. There was nothing more that he wanted out of life than to be with Ryuji, and for his friends and loved ones to be happy and healthy.

The third day was when everything properly sunk in, and Akira’s heart swelled as he realized that this was  _ really happening-- _ he was really going to have Ryuji all to himself  _ everyday _ .

Well… saying that he would have Ryuji  _ all to himself _ wasn’t exactly right: of course, Ryuji had his own life, as did Akira, and he wasn’t expecting Ryuji to spend every free minute that he had glued to Akira’s side.

Honestly, as much as Akira loved Ryuji, he didn’t want that for  _ either _ of them.

He knew his attachment to Ryuji was already borderline unhealthy as it was, considering how long he’d been in unrequited love with Ryuji for and how heavily he relied on Ryuji for emotional (and mental) stability--but he wanted to experience the future and everything that it held for himself just as much as he wanted to experience it with Ryuji, which meant making some memories on his own and letting Ryuji make his own memories as well.

So really, Akira wasn’t hoping for anything over the top like spending every single moment together.

As long as Akira could greet Ryuji each morning, and as long as he could come home to Ryuji each night, with the two of them exchanging stories about their day and laughing together over a home-cooked meal, that was all he needed.


	8. Sunset (Timeline #100, 11/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the first non-Pegoryu drabble of the series! ;u; Hopefully it's decent enough, I have a hard time writing anyone that's not Akira or Ryuji lmao;;
> 
> In case it's not clear from the date, this takes place towards the end of Futaba's first year at Kosei!

“I  _ knew _ I’d find you out here, Inari.”

There was no response from the artist, not that Futaba expected one--though she still let out an annoyed sigh as she approached the bench that Yusuke was sitting on, his hand flying across the page of his open sketchbook as his gaze flitted between the scenery of the setting sun and the immortalization of the image that he was creating with merely a pencil and a single-minded passion.

“You can’t keep doing this, you know,” she chided, though she might as well have been talking to a brick wall with how focused Yusuke was on his artwork. “The nights are getting colder, and I don’t  _ care _ if you’re resistant to ice--that doesn’t mean you’re resistant to catching a cold.”

When that still got no response, Futaba let out an exasperated groan. “Seriously Inari, how did you last 17 years on Earth living like this? Are you just constantly rolling a nat 20 for constitution checks or something? Well, whatever.”

She unfolded the blanket in her arms and draped it over Yusuke’s hunched shoulders before plopping herself down next to him on the bench with a huff. “You’re lucky I know you so well, or you’d probably end up sitting here all night freezing to death just ‘cause you got caught up in your art again.”

Finally, Yusuke’s hand paused--but only for long enough to shrug the blanket off of one of his shoulders and move it to drape over Futaba’s, shielding them both from the crisp evening air.

(Not that Futaba needed much help staying warm with how much heat was currently radiating off of her face.)

“Thank you.”

Two words and a quick yet sincere glance was all Yusuke offered before returning his attention to his sketchbook, determined to capture the fleeting beauty of twilight turning to dusk--yet it was more than enough for Futaba, who pulled out her phone from her pocket and tentatively leaned against his side as the two of them lapsed into a familiar, comfortable silence.


	9. Apology (Timeline #100, 03/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Akira has major guilt issues as usual and spoils his friends, also as usual lol

It was a long time coming, but as soon as Akira got his mental state back to something barely resembling that of a stable and functioning person--following the official end of the time loop--Akira set aside a few days with the specific intention of spoiling each and every one of his friends as one final belated apology for all of the stress that he’d put them through in the wake of him turning himself in to the police, and over the span of the year in general.

Of course, they each protested whenever he brought the subject up, but when he insisted that it was just as much to put his own mind at ease as it was to make them happy, they all gave in with varied levels of reluctance--which Akira was fine with, so long as they weren’t telling him  _ no _ .

So he took Ann out to eat all the fancy desserts she could stomach and took Morgana out for fancy sushi; he brought Futaba with him to Akihabara at her behest to hunt down a rare figure (that Akira managed to secure for her no matter how much he had to pay to do so, because if there was anyone out of all the people in his life that deserved to be showered with everything they wanted--aside from Ryuji--it was his soon-to-be little sister); he bought Yusuke enough high-end art supplies that the artist was nearly ready to throw himself at Akira’s feet in gratitude, and he made sure to provide Yusuke with a home-cooked meal and leftovers as well; he taught Haru the ropes of coffee-making at LeBlanc upon her request (with Sojiro’s permission, of course) and helped her put together a rough draft of a business plan for the small cafe she was determined to open; and--after going back and forth with Makoto for a good few minutes, as she was the most stubborn about not needing Akira to buy anything or do anything special for her--he acted as a second pair of eyes and second set of ears for Makoto’s upcoming valedictorian speech.

It went without saying that he spoiled Ryuji rotten too, but that was an everyday occurrence--especially now that he was free, with the fear of resetting slowly but surely fading from his mind. Still, he made sure that he specified that the dinner he was taking Ryuji out to and the game system he was buying for Ryuji was specifically to apologize for everything he’d put Ryuji through, though he knew that paying for a few material objects and some expensive food could never even come close to making up for everything.

Not that he was trying to buy anyone’s forgiveness or favor, of course, and he made sure to express that each and every time he went out of his way like this for any of his friends. He just genuinely had no idea how else to express how sorry he was aside from repeating the same apologies and the same words of appreciation that he was sure everyone had grown sick of hearing by now.

Though Akira was still a bit anxious that he would never be able to properly convey how remorseful he truly was over everything that Ryuji and the rest of their friends had to go through over the past year because of him, Ryuji--like the godsend that he was--merely rolled his eyes and kissed Akira in response, and Akira knew without even needing to be told that he’d already been forgiven a long time ago.


	10. Tears (Timeline #2, 04/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer one this time! This is one of the timelines that I alluded to in Only A Matter Of Time, and decided to finally write out since it's, sadly, not a very long-lived timeline ;_;
> 
> (Warning for temporary character death in this one!)

Akira was running late.

It was such a mundane thing to be worried about, given the fact that he’d just woken up  _ one year in the past _ , but even if he was inwardly panicking over not knowing what the hell was going on or why the year had suddenly reset on him, he knew that today was an important day that he could  _ not _ be late for.

He absentmindedly grabbed an umbrella as he bolted out the front door, apologizing over his shoulder to Sojiro and saying he would eat the curry Sojiro had made for him for dinner later without stopping to hear Sojiro’s response.

Everyone had to be just as freaked out over suddenly being one year in the past as he was, right? He couldn’t leave Ann and Ryuji to deal with Kamoshida on their own on top of that. Maybe Ryuji and Akira could walk Ann to school instead, and maybe they could even enter Kamoshida’s Palace together to rescue Morgana right away.

The thought pushed him to move even faster, and inwardly he was relieved that his stamina had somehow carried over in the reset, as well as his muscle memory from an entire year of navigating the hellscape that was Shibuya’s mass transit system--it meant that despite running a bit behind schedule, he was able to catch the train that came right after the one he’d taken the first time around, even if he just barely managed to slip onto said train in between the closing doors.

By the time he arrived at his stop, he’d caught his breath and marginally regained a sense of calm.

Okay, so he was definitely one year in the past, he’d confirmed as much from hearing the same old announcements being broadcast as current news--but maybe this was a blessing in disguise. Sure, it had been a difficult year, but reliving it while knowing what to expect had to be easier than going through the year blind, right? There were so many things they could fix now, too; so many things they could do  _ right _ \--

Akira opened his umbrella as he made his way from the station to the spot where he’d first met Ann, his heart lifting in relief as he saw her in the distance brushing the rainwater from her jacket and fixing her hair--

\--before immediately plummeting in a mixture of concern and confusion when she got into Kamoshida’s car with only the slightest hint of hesitance, wearing the same expression of resignation that she wore the first time around.

What was going on? Why didn’t she say no, or even just stall until Akira arrived?

Maybe she was worried about what would happen to Shiho if she refused Kamoshida so blatantly?

That could be it. They would have to help Shiho as quickly as possible--Mishima too, and the rest of the students that Kamoshida was abusing and taking advantage of, for that matter.

He came to a stop under the awning with a frustrated expression, hardly even realizing that he was glaring at Kamoshida’s retreating car until he heard a familiar voice approaching from behind.

“Goddammit… that bastard Kamoshida…!”

Akira turned, an agreement on his tongue that died as soon as he took a proper look at Ryuji.

It wasn’t like he was physically different, but there was just something…  _ off _ about him, something that Akira couldn’t put his finger on until Ryuji finally turned to look at him.

“The hell are you starin’ at, huh? You got something to say?”

There was no warmth in Ryuji’s gaze.

No  _ recognition _ .

Ryuji was looking at him with the same guarded wariness that he wore the first time they met.

Like they were strangers.

This wasn’t the Ryuji that swung an arm around him randomly, that grinned at him brightly and openly, that made a home for himself right by Akira’s side--

This wasn’t  _ Akira’s Ryuji _ .

“Do you… know who I am?” Akira asked, his voice hoarse with restrained emotion as he stared into Ryuji’s eyes and prayed for a hint, a sign, something,  _ anything _ to prove that his worst nightmare wasn’t coming true--

“Huh? What, should I know who you are?”

It was a wonder how Ryuji didn’t hear Akira’s heart shattering, with how loud the sound rang in his own ears.

His vision blurred, his head was spinning, this wasn’t right,  _ this wasn’t right _ ,  **_this wasn’t right_ ** \--

Akira didn’t even realize he’d begun to shakily back away until he was outright bolting, his umbrella and bag discarded somewhere as he ignored Ryuji’s startled shouts and darted away as fast as his legs would take him.

That was why Ann hadn’t waited for him, or put up a fight against Kamoshida. That was why Ryuji hadn’t immediately started bombarding him with questions about why they were suddenly in the past.

Akira was the only one that remembered.

He was the only one that remembered, and it  _ hurt _ .

It was stupid of him, he  _ knew _ it was stupid of him to be getting this upset--if he survived this year once, he could do it again, and he could always rebuild his bonds in the process--but knowing that all of the happiness he’d finally built up, with his friends and with  _ Ryuji _ , was just  **_gone_ ** like everything never even happened….

Why? He thought everything was over, so  _ why _ was the universe still putting him through hell? It wasn’t fair, it  _ hurt _ , he’d been sad that he was leaving Tokyo but he’d  _ accepted it _ because he had his  _ friends _ and he had his  _ boyfriend _ and now--

Now he had nothing.

He had nothing, and what guarantee was there that he would be able to regain everything that he’d lost? It hadn’t been perfect, sure, and there had been things that he’d regretted, but ultimately he’d made  _ peace _ with how the year had ended and hadn’t asked for anything more.

Akira had never been one to cry when he was upset--his parents made sure of that, drilling it into his head to keep his emotions under lock and key, to never show any weakness unless he wanted to be deemed as useless and tossed aside, just as he’d been when they shipped him off to Tokyo without even batting an eye--but as he blindly ran through the streets of Shibuya, there was no denying the blurriness in his vision and the burning in his throat.

At least the rain was an excuse for the streaks running down his cheeks.

He didn’t want to have to relive this year, to relive all the pain and the trauma that he'd already endured and overcome, to watch his friends suffering in silence all over again--he just wanted to go home and get his last year of high school over with so he could move back to Tokyo for good, to be with his boyfriend and his friends. Was that so wrong?

And how was he supposed to be around Ryuji and act like they didn’t even know each other when all Akira wanted to do was press himself against Ryuji’s side and kiss him like they always did? God, he thought pining for his best friend had been bad, but pining for someone that saw him as a  _ stranger? _ How was he supposed to deal with that? It had been so long since he’d thought of Ryuji as a stranger himself that he didn’t even remember how to act politely distant towards him--and he didn’t  _ want _ to have to act distant around someone that he loved with all of his heart.

He hated this, he hated it so much, it hurt, it  _ hurt _ \--

The sound of a truck horn blaring snapped Akira from his thoughts, but he was only given enough time to look up and see the truck skidding on the wet roads in his direction before his vision turned red, an agonizing pain bursting through his body as he was sent flying.

As passersby crowded around his broken body, Akira could only manage a weak laugh that turned into a choked, bloody cough as he wondered just how much the universe hated him.

And then, the world fell quiet around him as his vision turned black--

\--only for him to jolt awake in bed to the sound of Sojiro calling out to him, telling him he was going to be late for his first day at Shujin.

Akira wrapped his arms around his shaking body, and laughed, and laughed, and  _ laughed _ as tears streamed down his face.

He’d never been much of a crier, and he wouldn’t let himself become one--he couldn’t afford to show weakness, not if he was really was stuck repeating this same year.

So he got the last of it out of his system, took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and steeled his expression into a neutral look as he dried his face on his sleeves.

No more crying, no more breakdowns. This was happening, no matter how much he hated it, so he had to just figure out what to do to get through this.

Maybe if he made it to that spot early enough, he would be able to speak with Ann and Ryuji about everything. Even if they didn’t remember anything, maybe they would at least hear him out.

All Akira had left to cling to at this point was his memories, and his tentative optimism. He could only hope that would be enough to get him through the entire year again--for good, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Me, looking at Akira's final line, knowing that it's only timeline #3: f~~


	11. Embarrassed (Timeline #100, 07/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already past the 1/10th mark, yet there's still so much more left to go lmao

As much as Ryuji enjoyed acting affectionate towards Akira--and the reactions he would get from Akira as a result of being affectionate with him--it was still hard for him to stop his embarrassment from holding him back, especially when he and Akira were in public.

Akira, however, seemed to have no qualms with being affectionate with him regardless of who was around. Ryuji could understand why, of course--after all, with how many years ( _ decades _ ) Akira had gone without him, it was no surprise that he was eager to flaunt their relationship now that he finally had it--but it didn’t make it any easier for Ryuji to keep himself from blushing as he forcefully pushed past his embarrassment to take Akira’s hand in his own, fighting the reflexive urge to pull away as he could practically  _ feel _ people watching them in undisguised disapproval.

Not that Ryuji really cared what they thought of him, of course. Really, he didn’t. Being under such judgmental scrutiny just set him on edge, reminding him of all the looks that he got at and around Shujin, and he didn’t want that to sour his own feelings about his relationship with Akira.

Especially considering how overjoyed Akira was every time he managed to bring himself to show physical affection of any kind towards him in public.

So he would just put up with the looks for now, fortifying his tough skin to deal with this new angle of societal ostracization until it stopped registering entirely, just like he did at school to ignore all the whispered comments and side-eyed glances.

He refused to let anything keep Akira’s happiness from him after everything he’d already been through--not other people’s opinions, nor his own self-consciousness.


	12. Jealousy (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Akira can never catch a break in the past timelines ;_;

Seeing Ryuji fall in love with other people was just about as painful as watching him die.

Akira knew the two shouldn’t even begin to compare, he knew that he should be happy so long as Ryuji was alive and happy, but it was  _ so hard _ to force a smile the more years passed. He found the bitter jealousy festering inside of him each time he saw Ryuji kissing Ann, holding hands with Makoto, hugging Haru, joking and playfully flirting back and forth with Futaba--

He hated feeling such horrible, burning feelings towards people that he truly did love and consider his closest, dearest friends--but he just couldn’t help it. He wanted to be with Ryuji  _ so badly _ , and knowing that they could be with Ryuji in ways that he would never be able to was just eating him alive from the inside out.

Especially whenever he saw Ryuji with Yusuke, or even Mishima.

Those times were rarer than Ryuji ending up with any of the girls in their friend group, and they always without fail made Akira’s stomach churn with vitriolic envy as much as they filled him with self-loathing.

Ryuji wasn’t as straight as he pretended to be. Akira knew that, but Ryuji was usually so vocal about being  _ completely straight _ and how much he wanted a  _ girlfriend _ that it always felt like a slap in the face any time Ryuji ended up falling for a guy instead.

A guy that  _ wasn’t him _ .

Akira knew it was just the universe torturing him, he  _ knew _ it was just Yaldabaoth trying to drag him into the deepest depths of despair, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He’d always thought that he and Ryuji were meant to be, but it made him question if there was even anything in him worth loving if Ryuji only ever saw him as a friend at most.

Not even a best friend, anymore. Just a friend: his distant leader, always so cool, always so calm and collected and in control, always helping everyone but never favoring anyone.

Of course Ryuji wouldn’t even consider falling for him. Akira had been the one to make himself so unattainable in the first place, building up so many walls and barriers that he genuinely didn’t even remember how to not keep people at arm’s length anymore.

So all Akira could do was watch, time and time again, as Ryuji drifted away from him--all while letting the flames of jealousy consume the shattered remains of his heart, until there was nothing left but a cold, aching void in its place.


	13. Anxiety (Timeline #100, 07/25/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some minor P5S spoilers for this one! Nothing major, just a line referencing something that happened in the demo, but I still figured I'd give a warning just in case lol

Sometimes, Akira realized that his anxiety was a bit over the top, and that his worries were often unfounded.

This was not one of those times. At all.

In his completely honest opinion, he had every right to be freaking out: Lavenza had just contacted him last night, and he was back to being trapped as a prisoner of fate in the Velvet Room’s jail cells when this was all supposed to be  _ over _ . He’d already broken free of the time loop after suffering for  _ one hundred years, _ god damn it, so what the hell else did the universe  _ want _ from him?

More than that, he was terrified for what this meant for his friends, for  _ Ryuji _ , and  _ god _ if they were going to be in danger again there wouldn’t even be any way for him to know ahead of time like he’d known everything that would be a danger to them through the course of last year, and what if things went bad, what if one of them got hurt or worse after he’d finally gotten the perfect ending that he’d wanted  _ so badly _ for  _ so long _ \--

“ _ Akira _ .”

One utterance of his name, a hand slipping into his own, lips pressing against his own--and suddenly Akira’s frantic thoughts fell quiet, releasing their hold on his throat and lungs so he could  _ breathe _ as he leaned against Ryuji’s side in the wake of their quick kiss.

He tentatively glanced up and met Ryuji’s gaze, finding the same optimism, confidence, and unwavering conviction in his expression that had gotten him through the previous year, even though they both knew that they would be going through this next ordeal completely blind.

“We’ll get through this, I promise.”

And despite the anxiety weighing his heart down, Akira couldn’t help but believe him.

Or no--he  _ had to _ believe him.

Akira had let himself be strung along by  _ fate _ and the whims of overpowered beings for too long.

But now? Now he was going to  _ fight _ , and god help whoever or  _ what _ ever stood between him and his future with Ryuji and his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I read something that said we might be seeing a January release date for P5S, and if that's true then don't be surprised if I disappear for a few months and come back with another NG+ AU fic sdkfj~~


	14. Frustration (Timeline #16(?), 04/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the past timelines always breaks my heart... At least the next few drabbles after this one will be a bit more lighthearted lol;;
> 
> Warnings for mentions of character death and suicide in this one ;_;

Akira was at his wit’s end.

This was the… sixteenth loop? Seventeenth? It was getting harder and harder to keep track anymore.

All Akira knew was that  _ nothing was working _ .

It wasn’t like he was trying, because he  _ was _ trying, damn it. He was trying every goddamn thing that he could think of: changing his schedule this way and that, befriending people and recruiting teammates in different orders, going to different areas of Tokyo until he had the entire city mapped out in his head like he’d lived there his whole life--

Which, technically, he  _ had _ . Sixteen (seventeen?) years  _ was _ his whole life.

Granted, some of those loops hadn’t lasted the entire year, unfortunately. There had been the disastrous second and third loops in which he hadn’t made it past the first day (which Akira tried not to think too much about), and then he messed up in the interrogation room three times because the violence and the drugs had left his head too muddled to remember what he did and didn’t already tell Sae, and then one time he hadn’t made it past Yaldabaoth trapping his friends in the Velvet Room, and--

Well. He didn’t like remembering that time all that much, either. Hopefully  _ that _ would never happen again.

And then the last loop… he hadn’t made it past Shido’s Palace.

_ Ryuji _ hadn’t made it past Shido’s Palace.

It had been the first time Akira realized that it was entirely possible for their escape to go wrong--that Ryuji surviving the past handful of times that they’d made it up to and beyond Shido’s Palace had been sheer  _ luck _ , and not an assured occurrence.

Akira didn’t think there was anything left that could break him any more than he already was, and yet.

_ And yet _ .

So now here he was, alone, at the beginning of a new loop after losing himself to despair and the edge of a blade upon seeing the love of his life dead before his eyes, trying to figure out how his life had gone so horribly,  _ horribly _ wrong.

He hated it.

He hated all of this so much.

He just wanted this to be  _ over _ .

Throwing a tantrum and having a breakdown wouldn’t solve anything, though, as much as he wished it would. Maybe he needed to just… take this year off: to try and calm down, to pull himself together, and to quietly live out his probation while he put together a plan for the next timeline. It would be something new, at the very least.

(He didn’t think he would be able to handle seeing Ryuji again, anyway. Not when the image of his broken, bloody body was still burned into his memory.)

So that was it, then. As guilty as it made him feel, he would step back this year, let events play out without him--ignore any attempts at being pulled into the Velvet Room or into the Metaverse--and just… figure out where to go from here.

Who knows, maybe that would be the way out of this damned time loop: to just stop fighting, and let Yaldabaoth do whatever the hell he wanted.

(The thought twisted his gut, burned the gaping hole that used to be his heart, caused Arsène to  _ scream _ in protest in the back of his mind--and he knew, he  _ knew _ that there was no way this would end the time loop, not when every last bit of him was vehemently protesting the idea of letting things end with Yaldabaoth’s victory, not when there was still a tiny spark left inside of him willing to  _ fight _ even if it was just out of sheer frustration and stubbornness that was slowly but surely being whittled away.)

Having a tentative plan of action put Akira’s mind at ease--or at least, as much at ease as he could possibly feel with thoughts and memories racing through his mind, threatening to crack his composed façade and pull him under the moment he let his guard down--and helped give him the strength to pull himself out of bed, into his school uniform, and out the door for yet another first day of school.


	15. Sick (Timeline #100, 01/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, for something different: a short little Ryuji and Futaba drabble set in the indeterminate future, because I love their sibling dynamic almost as much as I love Akira and Futaba's sibling dynamic ;u;

Ryuji sighed in fond exasperation as he sat at the edge of his and Akira’s guest bed, lightly patting Futaba’s head and cracking a smile as she let out an exaggerated groan in response.

“Y’know, you should’ve figured you’d get sick if you went to that midnight release.”

“But I needed the game as soon as it came outttttt!” Futaba protested, sniffling and waving an arm blindly in the direction of the tissue box on the nightstand.

Ryuji rolled his eyes and passed her a tissue. “Yeah, and now y’ain’t gonna be able to play it ‘til you’re better.”

Futaba blew her nose and huffed. “You should be praising me for leveling up enough to go to a midnight release at all.”

“Dude, forget just praising you, I would’ve been right there on line with you if it wasn’t  _ below freezing _ out.” Ryuji frowned. “How the hell’d you even get Boss to agree to let you go when the weather was that bad?”

Futaba poked her fingers together with an innocent smile. “Weeeeell, I might have, um. Told him I was sleeping over with you guys instead of going to the midnight release?” When Ryuji shot her an unimpressed look, she pouted and added, “Hey, I told Inari I was going, so it’s not like  _ no one _ knew where I really was--and I came here straight after I got my copy!”

“Yeah, at like  _ one in the morning _ .” Ryuji sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I hope you know Akira’s gonna have a long talk with you ‘n’ Yusuke about this.”

Even as she reached for another tissue, there was a mischievous gleam in Futaba’s eyes and a satisfied grin on her face.

“Totally worth it.”


	16. Sky (Timeline #100, 04/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for a soft little introspective drabble because there aren't nearly enough Ryuji PoV drabbles in this collection yet lol

Ryuji couldn’t help but notice that everything took on a brighter hue, now that the time loop was over.

He hadn’t even been the one suffering through it, so if he was able to notice such a huge difference, then he could only imagine how much more  _ alive _ everything looked to Akira, who had been drowning in despair and hopelessness for so long.

Not only that, but he felt like he’d gained a new appreciation for everything in his life after seeing how hard Akira had fought to reclaim his happiness, not only for his own sake but for the sake of the people he loved. Hardly a year ago, Ryuji was walking with his head bowed, his shoulders hunched as he cleared a path with his glare alone--yet now he found himself walking with his head held high, his rough appearance softened by the smile that he couldn’t keep off of his face no matter how hard he tried as he looked up at the clear blue sky.

He was alive, which was the first thing he’d learned to not take for granted, and that combined with watching Akira treasure every moment as if it were his last made it hard for Ryuji to not show the same appreciation for all the blessings he had in his life. Akira was free--from the time loop, and from the crime he’d been unjustly accused of--and was staying in Tokyo, which was another reason for Ryuji’s heart to feel light and his smile to grow even wider: he loved Akira so much, and even just the thought of not having to be apart from him anymore put him at ease just as much as it did for Akira.

The sudden sound of his name pulled Ryuji from his musings, and he turned his gaze away from the bright, cloudless sky in order to look at a sight that was even brighter: Akira’s smile, as he caught sight of Ryuji and rushed over to unabashedly throw his arms around him in a giddy hug that Ryuji was more than happy to return.


	17. Snow (Timeline #100, 12/24/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for another non-Pegoryu drabble, as well as my first attempt at writing Shiho lmao;;

“Shiho! Shiho, look!”

Ann grinned brightly as she pointed up at the sky with her free hand, her other hand firmly clasped in Shiho’s.

Shiho turned her gaze up to the sky, her expression softening as she saw the snowflakes beginning to gently flutter down from above.

“A white Christmas….” Shiho looked over at her girlfriend with a small smile, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “And here I thought this Christmas couldn’t get any more perfect.”

Ann laughed softly, giving Shiho’s hand a squeeze and lacing their fingers together. “I know, right? Especially out here--I’m sure the streets are going to look gorgeous covered in snow, unlike in the city.”

“That’s one good thing about living in the middle of nowhere, I guess,” Shiho replied with a soft laugh of her own. “Anyway, want to go grab some hot chocolate before we head back to my place? My treat.”

“Oh Shiho, you charmer~ You always know the fastest way to my heart!”

Shiho rolled her eyes, an amused smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she watched Ann put a heart to her chest and pretend to swoon. “Yeah, through your sweet tooth,” she replied wryly, before letting out a light, breathless laugh as Ann leaned against her side and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“Merry Christmas, Shiho. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, Ann. Love you too.”


	18. Sunshine (Timeline #100, XX/2016)

Ryuji was like a walking ball of sunshine.

It was a comparison he’d made more times than he could count in his far-too-long lifetime, but this timeline cemented the thought more than ever: being able to bask in Ryuji’s warmth was like finally feeling the sunshine on his skin after years of being trapped in cold darkness, swelling his heart and heating up his cheeks every time Ryuji so much as looked at him with that bright grin of his.

He was, figuratively and literally, the light of Akira’s life.

Everything had been so dim, so colorless, so  _ lifeless _ for all the years that Akira had forced himself to keep Ryuji at arm’s length, forced himself to be the one to put a wall between the two of them before Ryuji could break his heart yet again, before his selfish desire to be closer to Ryuji could lead Ryuji to sacrificing himself to save everyone, even if he knew that he would just end up losing Ryuji to despair in the Velvet Room without that strong bond between them--

This time was different, though. It was so,  _ so _ different, so much that it almost  _ scared _ Akira--but Ryuji wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t keep that warmth and that light from him anymore now that he knew how much Akira wanted it, how much Akira  _ needed _ it, and Akira didn’t  _ want _ him to stop no matter how terrified he was of losing Ryuji now that he finally had him back.

All he could do now was fight, to make sure that nothing and no one took his sunshine away ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [You are my sunshine, my only sunshine   
> You make me happy, when skies are gray   
> You'll never know dear, how much I love you   
> Please, don't take my sunshine away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1moWxHdTkT0)
> 
> ~~I would apologize that this is the first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt but it fits this AU's Akira so much that it hurts ;_;~~


	19. Rain (Timeline #???, ???)

Akira hated the rain.

He hadn’t always hated it--he had a feeling that he’d loved it a long, long time ago, like plenty of other things in life--but he’d eventually come to associate it with resets.

It always rained on the first day of the reset. Always, without fail.

His mind linking rain to resets made for a lot of disoriented mornings--more than he should have had to deal with, with how badly his mind was already in shambles--whenever he woke up to both the sound of rain pattering at his window and the feeling of Morgana curled up on his chest.

Even worse were the few timelines where Morgana wasn’t living with him, for reasons ranging from someone else taking Morgana in to Akira just never meeting Morgana at all. One time he’d even gotten dressed in the wrong season’s uniform because he’d genuinely assumed that he’d reset without even realizing--and wasn’t that sad, how easy it had become for him to just  _ accept _ the resets, like they were a normal and inevitable part of the living hell that he was trapped in.

Maybe someday he would be able to reprogram his mind to associate rain with something more pleasant than the start of another year of futile struggling and depressing hopelessness.

For now, though, all he could do was take out his umbrella, plaster on his usual expression of detached indifference, and head out into the busy streets of Tokyo to start yet another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Me, essentially compiling a list of all of Akira's trauma and presenting it in fic form: I swear I love you Akira I'm sorry~~


	20. Flowers (Timeline #100, 07/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soft sappy Pegoryu fluff because we all know that's 90% of what I write for this AU lmao

Ryuji could count on one hand the places where Akira seemed to be the most at home.

By his side was--embarrassingly enough--at the very top of the list, starred and circled and underlined with a few exclamation points thrown in for good measure. There was no comparing how Akira let his guard down around him to seeing Akira anywhere else and with anyone else, not that Ryuji was complaining.

Next was at LeBlanc, where some of the tension seemed to leak out of his body as he moved around behind the counter with practiced ease. After that was when he was with all of the Phantom Thieves together as a group--whether they were just hanging out, or traveling through Mementos or a Palace, Akira seemed to be slowly but surely allowing himself to grow close with the friends that he so obviously adored.

And right below that on the list was, to Ryuji’s surprise, at the florist’s shop in the Shibuya underground mall.

Ryuji never would have pegged Akira for a guy that liked flowers, but he seemed surprisingly comfortable as he worked in the back, plucking out this flower and that while explaining the different meanings of each flower to the customers with a small smile--not quite unguarded, but much more relaxed than he’d seen him at any of the other part-time jobs that Akira occasionally popped in on whenever he had a spare minute. Before anyone could so much as blink, he’d somehow managed to transform the cluster of flowers that he’d seemingly been picking at random into a gorgeously arranged bouquet, wrapped and tied up and ready to be presented to whatever lucky person the customer was going to gift it to.

Even after watching him do this a few times with a few different customers, it was still like magic. Akira was seriously just way too good at literally everything.

Once the last of the customers had cleared out, Ryuji caught Akira just as he was about to clock out, unable to help his heart lifting as he saw Akira’s face immediately light up at the sight of him.

“Hey. Mind one last customer before you head out?”

Akira’s brows furrowed slightly in a mixture of confusion and curiosity, even as he kept a smile on his face. “For you? Of course I’d never mind. Did you need something in particular, or…?”

Ryuji hummed in thought. “Well, I don’t got much on me,” he confessed sheepishly, “so nothing too big. It’s just a little thought, y’know? Just something to show my appreciation.”

Akira chuckled. “Alright, I think I can put something like that together for you.”

As Akira began putting the bouquet together, explaining the flowers as he went, Ryuji realized that Akira had come to the incorrect conclusion that Ryuji was buying flowers for his mother--not that Ryuji was against buying his mother some flowers, but that wasn’t the person he was intending on surprising at the moment.

Pulling out his phone while Akira was distracted, Ryuji did a quick search of his own on flowers, trying to find something subtle enough that Akira would be able to pick up on without making his intentions immediately obvious--and when he caught Akira beginning to pull out flowers that leaned towards familial love, Ryuji tried to repress a smile as he stopped him.

“Nah, that’s not right.” Despite his slight embarrassment, Ryuji somehow managed to locate and casually point to a specific cluster of flowers as he asked, “How about more ones like those instead?”

Akira turned to look where Ryuji was pointing, only to find himself looking at the selection of red camellias. “Hm? Well, I can add one or two of those in too if you want, but those are more for--” He paused, glancing back at Ryuji and finally taking note of the hint of mischievousness mixed with embarrassment on Ryuji’s face. “Wait-- who did you… say this bouquet was for…?”

Ryuji grinned, watching as the color gradually rose all the way up from Akira’s neck to the tips of his ears in time with his slowly-dawning realization until his entire face was practically glowing red.

He didn’t need to respond, not when Akira already knew the answer.

It was obvious by the trembling in Akira’s hands and the flustered expression on his face that this had been the last thing that he’d expected Ryuji to do for him, which only made Ryuji that much more glad for his impulsive decision. If anyone in the world deserved to be pleasantly surprised by something like this (something that he’d probably wanted for ages, given his feelings for Ryuji and how long he’d gone without any sort of affectionate gestures from him, and judging by the hint of tears in his eyes even as he smiled like he was over the moon with joy), it was Akira.

Ryuji watched as Akira’s shaking hand suddenly paused, hovering near the red roses for a moment or two before Akira turned to glance back at him tentatively--and as embarrassed as it made him, he couldn’t say no to the hint of hope in Akira’s gaze.

He knew he’d made the right decision when he saw the wobbly, lovestruck grin that lit up Akira’s face as he carefully pulled out a single red rose and slipped it into the bouquet, and he watched as Akira ran his fingers against the petals for a moment in reverent awe before quickly swiping his sleeve across his eyes, his gaze still misty with unshed tears even as he put the finishing touches on the bouquet and set it down on the counter in front of Ryuji.

Ryuji took out the money for the bouquet--which he insisted on paying for despite Akira telling him that he didn’t have to, though he had a feeling that Akira was still only charging him a fraction of what a bouquet like that should actually cost--and glanced around to make sure no one was watching them before gently pressing the bouquet into Akira’s hands and leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

As Akira carefully hugged the bouquet to his chest in the wake of their kiss, breathing in the pleasant fragrance with a giddy, enamored smile, Ryuji resolved to try stopping by the florist’s shop more often.

Maybe next time, he would even have the courage to surprise Akira by bringing a bouquet to him at LeBlanc, now that he knew just how much Akira loved getting flowers from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about flowers tbh but from what I looked up, red camellias are a symbol of love and devotion, but they're more prominent in countries like Japan rather than western countries, while red roses are more of a universally recognized symbol of love. Akira just leans more towards loving roses ~~because he's a Tuxedo Mask wannabe~~ because he's a sap that's weak for romantic cliches lol


	21. Stars (Timeline #100, 02/14/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place directly after the end of [chapter 8 of Moments in Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20476217/chapters/50591726), so if you haven't read that one yet I'd suggest giving it a read! <3

There was a part of Akira that still couldn’t believe today had been real.

Every last thing that Ryuji had planned for their Valentine’s date had been  _ perfect _ , and Akira felt like he was on cloud nine as he rested with his head against Ryuji’s chest, the two of them having lapsed into a comfortable silence as they enjoyed both the comfortable warmth of their bodies pressed together and the breathtaking sight of the nighttime sky jam-packed with stars.

Of course, it wasn’t nearly as breathtaking as the sight of Ryuji’s smile in Akira’s opinion, but it was certainly a close second.

The feeling of fingers running through his hair pulled a soft, pleased sigh from his lips, his eyelids drooping in peaceful contentment as his gaze drifted away from the stars lighting up the sky in favor of looking at the person that lit up his entire world.

Ryuji was so free with his affection, so used to indulging Akira at every given opportunity, that it seemed he’d begun playing with Akira’s hair without even realizing: his eyes were still staring up at the sky, his expression relaxed, and Akira found himself trailing his gaze over every last inch of Ryuji’s face uninterrupted, drinking in the sight of him and feeling his heart swelling just from simply being able to be this close to the love of his life.

He was so gorgeous, with the stars reflected in his eyes and their light casting a gentle glow over him. Of course, Ryuji was always gorgeous, but he was somehow even  _ more _ gorgeous here and now.

Or maybe that was just Akira’s lovestruck brain talking.

Regardless, Akira found himself drawn even closer to him, unable to resist the urge to capture Ryuji’s starlit lips with his own in a gentle kiss--and when Ryuji kissed back without hesitance or question, it was all Akira could do to not melt on the spot from sheer adoration.

This was certainly, without a shadow of a doubt, the best Valentine’s Day Akira had ever experienced in his far-too-long life.


	22. Scent (Timeline #100, 06/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for another non-Pegoryu chapter! My Makoto and Haru muses aren't the greatest but I really do love MakoHaru, I think they're adorable together ;u;

Haru, Makoto noticed, smelled distinctly of flowers and coffee.

It was an interesting combination, one that she never would have thought would smell pleasant together--yet as they spent more and more time together (as teammates, as friends, as roommates, and now as girlfriends), the mixture of scents became a constant in Makoto’s life before she even realized it. It was subtle and unobtrusive yet unmistakable, just like Haru herself, and it was a familiar comfort to come home to after each exhausting day of university classes and work.

Not only did the scent carry on Haru’s clothes, but with the addition of Haru’s small windowsill garden and the collection of coffee beans in their kitchen cabinet that Haru used to practice brewing, their entire apartment slowly but surely began to take on the same pleasant aroma that followed Haru wherever she went.

Makoto wasn’t complaining, of course. Far from it, honestly--especially as she became aware of that same combination of scents permeating their shared bedroom, seeping into her own wardrobe and leaving a faint but noticeable touch of  _ Haru _ that Makoto was almost mortifyingly pleased to carry with her, making the days when they barely even had a chance to exchange a few words in between academic and work obligations that much more bearable.

Though part of her worried that maybe it was weird of her to be so fixated on something that wasn’t even tangible, her concerns were quickly put to rest as soon as she came home to find Haru wearing one of Makoto’s old pairs of pajamas as she slept at her desk, Haru’s arms resting on top of an open textbook and her nose buried in the sleeve of Makoto’s shirt with a small smile.

Maybe Makoto wasn’t the only one who noticed and loved such a small detail about her girlfriend, after all.


	23. Anniversary (Timeline #100, 05/07/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Anniversary" was originally prompt #34 on the list, but I already had an idea for the original prompt #23 ("Sparkle") and it would have conflicted with the 10-prompt pattern that I mentioned in the notes of chapter 1, so since I'm ocd like that I just swapped the prompts so I could keep with the pattern lol
> 
> ~~This probably means nothing to anyone but me, but that's just how my brain works lmao~~
> 
> Enjoy some more sappy post-timeline fluff! <3

Surprisingly, it had been Ryuji’s idea to time their wedding so it landed on May 7. Completely _un_ surprisingly, Akira was enthusiastically on board with the idea.

Of course, Ryuji knew that Akira would have been fine with whatever date he’d chosen, but he knew that day in particular meant too much to them both to _not_ pick it for their wedding--even if their close circle of friends were the only ones aside from them who knew the significance behind the date.

Now here they were, one full year later, and Ryuji was beyond excited to sweep his husband off his feet with a sentimental anniversary celebration. Granted, he had to plan things _months_ in advance in order to outwit and one-up Akira, and it wasn’t going to be a _complete_ surprise since Akira had (of course) caught onto the fact that Ryuji had something planned to celebrate their first anniversary, but that didn’t dampen Ryuji’s enthusiasm in the slightest.

The first step was waking up earlier than Akira--not much of a challenge when Ryuji was the morning person of the two of them, and by now he’d mastered the art of escaping from Akira’s clingy hold without waking him up--and slipping into the kitchen to cook breakfast, even going so far as trying to make Akira’s coffee the way he saw Akira do practically every day. It didn’t turn out _exactly_ like how Akira made it, but Ryuji knew (embarrassing as it was to think about, even now) that Akira would love it no matter how it tasted, simply because Ryuji had been the one to make it for him.

Some things just never changed. Not that Ryuji was complaining, of course.

Breakfast in bed was a rare treat, if only because Ryuji was usually off running in the mornings and Akira was already awake and in the kitchen by the time he got back--and on the rare days that they both had the opportunity to be lazy, they usually ended up skipping breakfast altogether in favor of cuddling until their grumbling stomachs forced them out of bed in time for lunch. He figured that if any day was a “breakfast in bed” kind of day, though, it would be today.

The smell of coffee and food combined with the gentle press of lips against his own pulled Akira from his peaceful slumber, and Akira blinked blearily as he looked up at Ryuji with a sleepy, lovestruck smile that Ryuji knew he would never get tired of seeing, no matter how many years passed.

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Ryuji teased lightly, pressing a light kiss to Akira’s forehead before setting the tray of food down on Akira’s lap so he could crawl back into bed with him. “Happy anniversary.”

Akira looked briefly confused, and Ryuji could see him slowly putting the pieces together in his sleep-muddled mind before his face lit up in realization. “It’s our anniversary,” he breathed out, a giddy smile quickly spreading across his face. “You made me breakfast in bed, and it’s our _anniversary_. God I love you so much.”

Ryuji laughed softly, slipping an arm around Akira and kissing his cheek. “Love you too, you dork. Now c’mon, let’s eat before everything gets cold--I know Boss needed you to look after LeBlanc for a bit today, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a few hours together before you leave.”

Akira hummed and leaned into Ryuji’s one-armed embrace as he picked up a fork off of the tray. “And after?” he asked with a hint of a smirk and a knowing glint in his eyes.

“And _after_ , I’m gonna take you out to dinner, and I’m not telling you _where_ we’re going, _and_ I’m not letting you pay a single yen,” Ryuji replied, accentuating each point with a light poke to Akira’s side and relishing his soft laughter.

“Okay, okay, I get it, no more prying.” Akira gently swatted Ryuji’s hand away with a grin. “I’m sure I’m going to love wherever you take me. I always do.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna try ‘n’ surprise you anyway, though.” Ryuji pressed a quick kiss to Akira’s lips before snatching the fork from his lax grip and holding up a forkful of food to Akira’s mouth, grinning as Akira ate the food without a fuss and let out another pleased hum. “Good?”

“Delicious as always,” Akira responded earnestly, his expression filled with adoration as he relaxed against Ryuji’s side. “I love when you cook for me.”

Ryuji chuckled and offered him another forkful of food as he replied wryly, “You love when I do _anything_ for you.”

Akira swallowed the food before leaning over to press a brief kiss to Ryuji’s lips, unable to repress a gleeful grin once he pulled back.

“Guilty as charged.”

Akira pressed one more kiss to Ryuji’s lips before going back to leaning against him, picking up the cup of coffee that Ryuji had lovingly prepared for him--just as Ryuji had figured, Akira adored it even if it wasn’t perfect, and dutifully finished it to the last drop--and basking in the simple knowledge that he was celebrating the anniversary of his _marriage_ to _Ryuji_ , the love of his life.

If Akira was already feeling this giddy and lovestruck just a few minutes into the day, then he could only imagine how much better the rest of the day was going to be.

(Except he really _couldn’t_ imagine--because Ryuji showing up to LeBlanc later that afternoon to pick him up, holding a bouquet of gorgeous red roses and dressed up in a fancy new outfit that Ann had picked out with Akira’s tastes in mind, completely blew any and all of Akira’s enamored daydreams out of the water, leaving him a flustered, emotional mess as he felt himself falling in love with his incredible, perfect husband all over again.)


	24. Lights (Timeline #100, 12/24/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira finally gets to experience a happy Christmas Eve without worrying about turning himself in the next day ;u;

Akira had two simple yet firm requests for Christmas this year: to spend Christmas day with all of his friends and loved ones, and to spend Christmas Eve alone with Ryuji, this time  _ without _ the thought of going to jail the next day looming over his head.

Of course, no one could say no to that after remembering how Christmas went last year--and how Christmas had probably gone for the past one hundred years for Akira, now that they thought about it. It was no wonder all he wanted was to be with the people he loved this time around, if each year he spent his Christmas in solitary confinement.

Not to mention how it was so rare for Akira to ever ask for anything for himself. Getting him to admit what he wanted to everyone was like an early Christmas present in and of itself.

So while everyone else spent their Christmas Eve doing their own thing--Yusuke and Morgana spent the holiday with Futaba at Sojiro’s house, Ann took an all-expenses-paid trip out to visit Shiho as part of Akira’s Christmas present to her with the promise of bringing Shiho back with her to visit for Christmas day, and Makoto took a page from Akira’s book and spent a romantic night out with Haru--Akira spent the night walking around the brightly-lit streets of Tokyo with his fiance, leisurely strolling around while cuddled up against Ryuji’s side as they admired all the festive decorations.

“I never really got the chance to appreciate how beautiful Tokyo looks, all lit up like this,” Akira murmured, a small, awed smile on his face as he took in this brand new side to the city he’d grown so used to seeing. With a light, teasing squeeze of his arms around Ryuji’s body, he added, “Or it could just be that everything looks so much brighter with you around.”

Ryuji rolled his eyes in fond amusement. “Sap,” he teased right back, hugging Akira a bit closer in return and smiling as Akira immediately melted into his one-armed embrace. “I could say the same, though--I don’t think I ever really loved this city as much as I do now, ‘cuz you’re here with me.”

“Now who’s the sap?” Akira replied quietly, unable to even force out a teasing tone when his heart felt so close to bursting with love from Ryuji’s sweet statement.

Ryuji hummed in mock-thought before grinning cheekily and responding, “Still you, definitely.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Akira replied with a soft laugh.

With that, he leaned in towards Ryuji, his own smile widening in adoration as Ryuji met him halfway with no words needing to be said as the two of them shared one of many kisses under the bright, festive lights illuminating the city that brought them together.


	25. Miracle (Timeline #100, 05/08/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira at the beginning of the hundredth timeline teetering between disbelief and hope will never not be heart-wrenching for me to write ;_;

Akira was in shock. Complete, mind-numbing shock, to the point where he barely even remembered to  _ blink _ as he stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, searching for answers and explanations in the aged wooden panelings.

He’d told Ryuji everything-- _ everything _ \--and Ryuji had not only accepted and believed everything Akira had said, but had gone a whole ten steps further and had  _ held _ him, had  _ kissed _ him, had  _ cried _ with him and  _ supported _ him and  _ encouraged _ him and--

It was too good to be true. It had to be. There had to be a… a catch, a trick,  _ something _ .

Akira had stopped putting his faith in miracles decades ago, having long since realized that reality was far too cruel to allow such a hopeful concept to exist--yet one had just happened before his very eyes between last night and today, and it terrified Akira as much as it excited him.

What would be the cost of this blessed occurrence? What price would he have to pay this time for this moment’s respite from the universe torturing him?

Nothing bad had happened so far, but as much as Ryuji’s determined optimism had moved him, Akira couldn’t help but remain wary.

It would be best to just treat all of this as some sort of long, pleasant dream and move on, before Ryuji ended up suffering a fate worse than every other death he’d experienced in so many other timelines. Akira didn’t think his heart would be able to handle that, not now, not when this was the closest he’d ever gotten to experiencing the perfect timeline that he’d longed for for a  _ century _ now.

Miracles didn’t exist. They  _ couldn’t _ exist, not for him, not with this rigged game that he was trapped in.

Yet despite all of this, his heart felt just the slightest bit lighter as he slowly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, the memory of Ryuji’s arms around his body and his lips against his own pulling a small, unconscious smile onto his face and chasing away the traumatic memories for one blessed night.


	26. Name (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More past timeline pain ;_;

Akira never knew hearing his own name could feel so painful, yet so bittersweet and nostalgic.

He’d long since lost track of exactly how many times he’d repeated this endless year by now, and long since given up hope of ever breaking free--as well as ever being with Ryuji as more than friends. Hell, even just being friends with him was too agonizing to bear sometimes, as it came with the reminder that it would more likely than not end up with Ryuji’s death in some shape or form.

Outside of Shido’s palace, or inside the Velvet Room. Death of the body, or death of the spirit. Either way, Ryuji’s fate was sealed whenever Akira was too weak to resist the urge to be by the side of the person he adored--adored to the point that it physically  _ hurt _ , his chest constricting each time Ryuji so much as smiled in his direction.

And when Ryuji called his name… it was torture, hearing the echoes of sweet affection in his voice from memories long past, overlapping with the voice reaching his ears until he could hardly tell what was real and what was in his head.

Of course, the safest bet was to just assume that all of it was in his head and move on, keeping his expression detached and his tone neutral, refusing to let even the slightest glimmer of warmth seep through the cracks that he was constantly, desperately covering up. If he let himself slip for even just a moment, everything would come tumbling out in a mess of emotion that would only end up ruining everything--not that it really even mattered in the end when no one would remember the next time around, but…

Akira was tired of pointlessly dying and resetting just because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check around his friends, around  _ Ryuji _ . He’d wasted enough timelines as it was already, and dying was never any easier nor any more pleasant no matter how many times it happened.

So he simply forced himself to quietly endure the pain of hearing his name being called out in that sweet, cheerful voice, all while knowing what was to come, and what was never meant to be.


	27. Song (Timeline #100, 06/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'll be honest, I get _so_ much secondhand embarrassment from song fics asdkfj I don't even know why, I have the same reaction to watching shows and movies where characters just randomly break out into song lmao but anyway my point is I did it anyway because the prompt was "song", and I really do like the hc that Akira has a really nice singing voice ~~though is it really a hc when Fukuyama Jun and Xander Mobus both sound amazing when they sing?~~ so I pushed my way through my embarrassment lol
> 
> I looked up popular love songs and saw Elvis and got a good laugh out of imagining Akira singing an Elvis Presley song, except then I looked at the lyrics and realized that I played myself because the lyrics fit so well adslfkj so enjoy this overly sappy chapter that I typed through my tears and my embarrassment

Ryuji sat at the bar of LeBlanc, nursing a cup of coffee that Akira had made for him as he watched Akira move to and fro while humming to himself, looking completely in his element as he rearranged the stock that Sojiro had just gotten in earlier in the day. He didn’t seem to mind Ryuji watching him as he moved around--on the contrary, he seemed like he was on cloud nine just from the feeling of Ryuji’s gaze locked onto him, his steps light and his smile open in a way that Ryuji genuinely wished it could be all the time, instead of just when they were alone together.

Not that Ryuji minded Akira being openly happy when the two of them were together, of course. He just hoped that someday Akira would be able to let his guard down like this around the rest of their friends as well.

Ryuji waited until there was a lull in the quiet noise of Akira’s hums filling the cafe before asking, “What’re you humming?”

Akira paused mid-motion, caught off-guard by Ryuji’s question, before glancing at him over his shoulder with a smile. “A love song, of course.”

“Of course,” Ryuji repeated dryly, rolling his eyes in amusement despite the color heating up his cheeks. “Should’a figured.”

Akira laughed softly. “I can’t help it. Being here with you like this… it still doesn’t feel real; it’s like a dream come true.”

Ryuji’s expression softened, and he set down his cup of coffee so he could lean over the counter just enough to grab hold of Akira’s arm and gently tug him forward, pulling Akira into a kiss that he was more than happy to melt into with a soft noise of pleased contentment.

“It’s real,” Ryuji murmured as he pulled out of the kiss, giving Akira’s arm a light squeeze and smiling as he met his gaze. “I’ll remind you no matter how many times you need to hear it: this is  _ real _ , I swear.”

Akira’s vision clouded over with unshed tears as he looked at Ryuji with a grateful, lovestruck smile, his throat tight with restrained emotion as he breathed out, “I know. I… I believe you. Thank you.”

Ryuji sat back down in his seat with a satisfied smile, giving Akira’s arm one last, gentle squeeze in support before letting go so Akira could return to his work. It took a moment, but once Akira composed himself, he almost immediately went back to smiling and humming as he carefully rearranged the back shelf, with Ryuji’s gaze following him once more as he idly took sips of his coffee.

Thankfully--or perhaps merely coincidentally--Akira waited until Ryuji had set down his empty cup before the quiet sounds of his humming were replaced with a soft, smooth voice.

“ _ Wise men say _ _   
_ _ Only fools rush in _ _   
_ _ But I can’t help falling in love with you… _ ”

Immediately, Ryuji’s face flooded with color, and he bit his tongue in his haste to stifle a noise of startled embarrassment--he hadn’t expected Akira to start  _ singing _ , and Ryuji’s only coherent thought beyond how nice Akira’s voice sounded was the realization that he really  _ had _ been humming a love song after all. Not that Ryuji had doubted him, but part of him had figured that Akira was just making a sappy joke--and for as much as Ryuji continuously assured Akira that all of this was real, sometimes he found that he had to remind  _ himself _ that this was real too, that there was really a person out there who was this deeply in love with him that he would be walking around with an enamored smile and humming  _ love songs _ to himself just from being in his presence.

It was  _ surreal _ . A good kind of surreal, of course, but still.

“ _ Shall I stay? _ _   
_ _ Would it be a sin _ _   
_ _ If I can’t help falling in love with you? _ ”

When Akira finally turned to look at him, Ryuji reflexively ducked his head in embarrassment, feeling overwhelmed even just from the single glance of pure, unconditional adoration in Akira’s expression--and though it prompted a quiet chuckle from Akira, it didn’t seem to deter him any as his voice continued to gently carry through the empty cafe.

“ _ Like a river flows _ _   
_ _ Surely to the sea, _ __   
_ Darling, so it goes _ _   
_ __ Some things-- ”

His voice caught for a moment, and Ryuji lifted his head in time to catch Akira’s tear-filled gaze and soft smile as he breathed out,

“ _ Some things really are meant to be. _ ”

“Akira….”

Akira reached out and grasped Ryuji’s hand in his own, his smile and voice both unwavering as he continued.

“ _ Take my hand, _ ”

He lifted Ryuji’s hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back before moving it to rest against his chest, over his heart.

“ _ Take my whole life, too, _ ”

As he leaned forward, reaching out with his free hand to cup Ryuji’s cheek with his own, Ryuji couldn’t help the way his heart swelled and his face flooded with heat even as he met Akira halfway, his eyes drifting closed.

“ _ For I can’t help… _ ”

“... falling in love with you,” he finished, breathing the words out against Ryuji’s lips in the wake of their kiss with a soft, adoring smile on his face.

Ryuji reached out with his free hand before Akira could pull away, leaning against the bar as he pulled Akira back in for another kiss, and letting his actions speak the words he couldn’t bring himself to say just yet.

If Akira kept this up, Ryuji wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with  _ him _ , either.


	28. Refreshing (Timeline #100, 09/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters are going to be a bit heavier so have one more soft chapter to make up for it lol <3

Being able to be more openly affectionate with his friends was like a breath of fresh air that Akira hadn’t even realized he needed.

Ryuji hadn’t been the only one that he’d kept at a distance: every last action that he’d taken with every single person in his endless life in Tokyo had been carefully calculated, and he hadn’t allowed any sort of impulsive affectionate gestures from anyone--giving, or receiving. Any “affectionate” gestures were reserved for the few times he tried to date other people--hoping at first that it would maybe trigger some sort of change by doing something different, and later just to try and distract himself from how badly he was falling apart from repeatedly watching Ryuji fall in love with other people without even sparing him a second glance--and even those gestures were purposeful and planned, to keep whoever he was dating happy without making them feel the need to catch him off-guard by initiating themselves.

The last time something like that had happened, he’d reflexively shoved the girl off of him and ran. He honestly couldn’t even remember which of his friends it had been anymore, but he definitely remembered how close he’d come to breaking down after that, knowing that the only person he wanted touching him or kissing him anymore was the one person who never would.

Except now Ryuji was being openly affectionate towards him--had been for the past few months, even--and it made it so much easier for Akira to let his guard down around his friends in turn, giving rise to the belated realization that Ryuji’s affections weren’t the only ones that he’d been starved for this whole time.

So when Ann impulsively looped her arm through his as they walked around the underground mall together, weaving in and out of clothing stores while chatting about everything and nothing, Akira immediately found himself relaxing in contentment, his smile widening just a hint as he basked in the feeling of  _ closeness _ and  _ love _ that his friends were willing to give him so freely.

He could only hope, as he gave Ann’s arm an appreciative, light squeeze, that he was able to make them feel even a fraction of the same feelings in return.


	29. Silence (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of suicide in this one ;_; Unfortunately this chapter and the next aren't going to be very happy;;
> 
> ~~Btw I broke from my posting schedule of every other day specifically because I wanted to time the chapter 30 update for Halloween, so everyone can look forward to that :)~~

At some point in his now far-too-long life, Akira had grown unable to tolerate silence.

The absence of noise meant the absence of distractions from the thoughts and compounding memories clamoring for a spot in the forefront of his mind, mixing up dates and events and leaving him with a pounding migraine and a desire to take out his knife and claim the one instance of  _ true _ silence that he could ever attain anymore, where all of his thoughts and memories disappeared for the small yet blessed period in between resets.

He didn’t do it, of course--not often, anyway. It was a waste to throw away a potentially good timeline just because he couldn’t handle a bit of noise in his head.

When he reached the end of the year, though, in solitary confinement… it became harder to resist the urge, if only because the reminder that the amount of times he successfully made it this far in the year were growing fewer and fewer conflicted with the reminder that nothing would change even if he  _ did _ make it all the way to the end of the year, so what was the point of holding on?

Sometimes no one even cared enough to put in the effort to try and free him. There was nothing to stop him from resetting then, because if he’d screwed up badly enough that no one was willing--or able--to figure out how to help him, then he might as well just consider the timeline a lost cause. It was better than sitting in that tiny room surrounded by deafening silence that only seemed to make his thoughts sound even louder, reverberating through his mind until he had to forcibly pull his hands away from gripping his head.

The sight of blood on his nails and small chunks of hair in his white-knuckled grip was usually a good indicator of whether or not he should reset. It wasn’t too hard to do, either--he’d figured out how to manage it with just the dulled fork that they provided for his meals if he was really desperate enough, given how he couldn’t sneak in any weapons to use.

Anything for a few minutes of reprieve from his thoughts, for a chance to grasp true,  _ peaceful _ silence for himself for even just a moment.


	30. Surprise (Timeline #30(?), ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Here's the update that I promised, but it's... not a fun one, so brace yourselves for that lol;;
> 
> I've been wanting to write out The Bad Timeline for so long now, and given the length that it ended up being, I probably should have put it in Moments In Time instead, but... well, then I would've had to write a new drabble fic for this prompt, and plus I would've felt weird leaving MIT at 9 chapters lmao;; Of course I'm sure everyone knows what The Bad Timeline entails, but just to be safe, keep in mind that there's warnings for **Major Character Death** (temporary since the timeline resets, but still), and **minor descriptions of violence and blood/gore**. If this bothers anyone, please make sure to skip the scene that begins " _Blood. All he could see was blood_ " and begin reading again at " _Akira knew that no matter how badly he wished for that gunshot to end it all_ ". Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy(?) this chapter!

Akira was going insane.

No, that wasn’t quite accurate to say--rather, he was already insane, and was beginning to feel whatever small scraps of sanity that he’d managed to cling to over the past two (three? somewhere in the middle?) decades slipping through his fingers.

He couldn’t take this anymore. There had to be something he could do, something he could change,  _ something _ that would be groundbreaking enough to get him out of this  _ living hell _ that he was trapped in--

“Kurusu-kun…? What are you doing out here at this time of night?”

Akira turned around sluggishly at the sound of a familiar voice, only to find Akechi--of all people--standing behind him, briefcase in hand and an expression of bewilderment on his face that quickly shifted to concern as he got a better look at Akira.

“Are you feeling unwell? I can escort you home--”

“No,” Akira quickly replied, before grimacing and gripping his head with a pained noise. “No, I can’t, I-- I need to be away from that place, I can’t take looking at it anymore, I can’t take  _ any of this _ anymore--”

“Kurusu-kun,  _ breathe _ .”

Akira flinched and reflexively tried to pull away when he suddenly felt two hands gripping his shoulders, before belatedly registering Akechi’s command and realizing that yes, breathing was a thing that he should probably be doing, as difficult as it was to do so at the moment.

It was only years upon years of practice that helped him regain his composure with just a few deep, steady breaths, until he could think straight enough to give Akechi a weak attempt at a reassuring smile as he eased Akechi’s hands off of him as politely as he could.

“Sorry. I’m just… going through a lot, I guess you could say, and I just… needed to get away for a bit.”

Akechi eyed him for a moment, humming thoughtfully, before giving him a small smile of his own. “Why not come to my apartment, then? I don’t have much to offer, but a change of atmosphere may help, if nothing else.”

Akira’s breath caught in his throat, and he could barely manage to keep the bewildered shock off of his face as he choked out, “Your… apartment…? You want me to-- you’re inviting-- what…?”

This never happened.

_ This never happened _ .

It was so sudden, so completely  _ unexpected _ , that Akira was honestly terrified: he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what caused this or why it was happening or--

But no, none of that really mattered right now, did it? After all, he’d been begging the universe for something to change, and he’d finally,  _ finally _ gotten his wish, no matter how frightening (how utterly  _ thrilling _ ) it was to be so abruptly thrust into a scenario that he had no prior knowledge of.

He’d always had a feeling that Akechi was the key to breaking out of this time loop, but he’d assumed that just preventing Akechi’s death in Shido’s Palace was all he needed to do to settle what had originally been one of his biggest regrets before this endless loop started--but maybe… this is what he’d been doing wrong all along? Maybe he hadn’t reached out to Akechi early enough, maybe he was supposed to try harder to befriend Akechi and help change his ways so they wouldn’t have to fight in Shido’s Palace to begin with--

Maybe… maybe he was supposed to meet with Akechi like this, outside of their scripted confidant encounters, and actually  _ talk to him _ one-on-one in a private setting, in a place where they could both let down their guards and be honest with one another.

Akira hardly even realized that Akechi had begun leading him along until they were approaching an apartment building--and as nervous as Akira was, he was too relieved by the fact that this was a  _ brand new experience _ to even so much as consider turning back now.

“I’m afraid my coffee-brewing skills are nowhere near LeBlanc’s level,” Akechi began as he opened the door to his apartment for them, “but how about I make us a cup, and we can sit down and talk?”

Akira nodded, trying not to let the hope that had long since died flicker back to life inside him as he took the first step forward, into this unknown space, towards what he hoped would finally be the end of this cursed time loop.

* * *

Akechi believed him.

Akira’s composure had cracked as soon as Akechi handed him a warm cup of coffee and asked if he wanted to talk about what had caused him to go wandering the streets in the middle of the night, and he found himself confessing everything: the time loop and Yaldabaoth’s game, all the times that he’d died, all the times he saw his friends (saw  _ Ryuji _ ) die, all the times Yaldabaoth had won and left his friends trapped in the Velvet Room jail cells, all the times he saw Akechi himself die in Shido’s Palace--

The fact that he also confessed to knowing Akechi’s ties to Shido and everything that he’d done in the Metaverse as the “Black Mask” might have been what tipped Akechi’s belief in his favor, since Akira had only seen a crack in Akechi’s politely neutral expression as he humored Akira’s rambling when Akira began spilling secrets that he couldn’t have possibly known.

Regardless of the reason, however, Akechi had heard him out from beginning to end--and not only did Akechi believe him, but he  _ offered to help _ .

Akira very nearly broke down from those words alone. He hadn’t realized how badly he wanted someone to just  _ listen _ and  _ believe him _ until he was faced with Akechi’s sympathetic smile and his hand outstretched in an offer of support that Akira hastily, desperately, latched onto.

Akechi spent the night patiently talking through everything Akira had and hadn’t done, discussing all the facts and knowledge that Akira had accumulated throughout his repeats about each and every player in Yaldabaoth’s game as he tried to help Akira pinpoint something that could be of use to gain the upper hand and end the time loop--and before Akira knew it the sun was already rising, leaving him with a feeling of pleasant exhaustion that he hadn’t experienced in years, one borne of effort made towards actual  _ progress _ .

They had come to the conclusion that the biggest and most noticeable change that they could possibly make would be for Akechi to join up with the Phantom Thieves earlier than Sae’s Palace, to integrate himself with the group so they could hopefully take down Shido faster, without Akechi needing to sacrifice himself in the end. It wouldn’t be easy--Ryuji couldn’t stand Akechi, and everyone else was wary of the detective, not to mention the fact that Akechi was still responsible for the death of  _ Futaba’s mother _ even if he insisted that he never would have done such a thing if Shido hadn’t forced him to--but Akira was so high on the relief of making something  _ different _ happen that he found himself brimming with enough optimism to honestly believe that everything would be fine.

There was no way that this wouldn’t work. This was the biggest change he’d managed to make in close to  _ three decades _ \--almost  _ thirty years _ of nothing but failure, death, loneliness, grief, and so much more--and Akira knew that if he could just make it to the end of this year, then he’d get to witness the largest, most unforgettable change of them all right before his eyes.

Already, he could picture Yaldabaoth’s shock as Akira finally won his game, the first moment he would get to witness March 21, 2017, the faces of all his friends as he finally confessed everything that he’d been holding back to them, the feeling of all of them hugging him and crying with him and maybe even berating him for not trusting them (even if he’d tried to reach out to them, tried to tell them, only for them to write everything off as a joke or assure him it was just a bad dream or outright think he was crazy on a few bad occasions) but he wouldn’t even  _ care _ if they scolded him as long as they all finally  _ believed _ him--

Even just imagining it was already almost enough to bring him to tears. He wouldn’t actually cry, of course--he hadn’t shed a tear since his breakdown in the second timeline, not even when he’d first witnessed Ryuji’s death (though that was only because he had immediately gone from stunned disbelief to such a deep feeling of utter despair that the tears wouldn’t come even if he’d wanted them to)--but the sentiment was still there in the furthest recesses of his mind, as if waiting for the moment that Akira would unlock the door that kept his emotions at bay so it could be the first to break free.

Akechi’s apologetic reminder that he had to go to work and that Akira should probably go back to LeBlanc before Sojiro arrived pulled Akira from his thoughts, and despite his exhaustion Akira managed to give a nod and push himself up to his feet, hesitating for a moment as pride and courtesy warred in his mind before finally giving in and bowing deeply to Akechi as he choked out a quiet, heartfelt “thank you”--and he should have said more, should have better expressed just how much this meant to him, but….

Somehow, even without saying another word, Akechi seemed to understand the depth of his gratitude as he laid a hand on top of Akira’s head, giving him a reassuring smile when Akira jumped slightly at the touch and straightened up to look at him in surprise.

“No more aimlessly wandering the streets at night, okay?” Akechi’s words were probably meant to be a gentle scolding, but the smile on his face made his tone take on a more teasing lilt. “You know where I live now, so if you ever need to talk, or even just to get away… come here instead.”

Akira instinctively wanted to swat Akechi’s hand off of him and pull away--he hated other people touching him, hated the feeling of weakness and desperation that came with the sensation of a gentle touch, hated the fact that it  _ wasn’t Ryuji _ standing here in front of him offering him kindness and support--but he couldn’t bring himself to, not when he hadn’t felt the warmth of another person’s touch in years, not when Akechi was the first person to ever  _ believe _ him and  _ help _ him.

So he merely gave another small nod in response, not quite trusting his voice at the moment, and accepted the display of compassionate sympathy without protest, allowing Akechi to move his hand down to grip his shoulder instead as he guided him to the front door so he could catch the next train to Yongen-jaya.

Even as he spent the train ride trying to figure out how to explain his disappearance to Morgana without raising suspicion--and how to explain his disappearance to  _ Sojiro _ in case he didn’t make it back in time, which would be a considerably more difficult feat even if he was warming up to Akira again thanks to Futaba’s recent change of heart--Akira found himself fighting down a small yet genuine smile.

He couldn’t entirely say that what he was feeling was hope--that was something that had died a long, long time ago--but it was so dangerously close that it left Akira feeling almost dizzily giddy.

Finally, he was going to get to experience the groundbreaking change that he’d been fighting to achieve for so long.

* * *

Of course, the team had protested Akechi joining their group, but neither Akira nor Akechi had expected them to welcome the detective with open arms after everything he’d said about them to the public. Regardless, however, Akechi proved his loyalty by providing inside information from the police as well as softening his stance on television interviews, and between that and his display of power as they fought their way through a few requests in Mementos (some of which Akechi himself had gathered information on the targets for, in a further attempt to prove his willingness to help them), the team eventually found themselves giving in and accepting him with varied levels of reluctance.

(It also helped that none of them knew that he was the Black Mask, of course, and both Akechi and Akira had agreed before even approaching the rest of the group to keep that matter a secret--with the agreement that Akechi would stop causing mental shutdowns, and would only take on the bare minimum of Shido’s demands to keep him from growing suspicious of Akechi’s current double-agent status.)

(It made Akira’s gut twist in guilt, keeping such a huge secret from his friends, but… well, he’d been keeping secrets from them for decades now, so what’s one more added to the list? Besides, breaking free of the time loop was his top priority now, and he couldn’t risk ruining what was so far looking to be his closest chance yet just because he was worried his friends would get upset with him.)

The year progressed smoother than Akira could ever remember, both with Akechi’s added power in the Metaverse and Akechi’s lack of public ridicule towards them--

And then Okumura died.

That should have been the first clue, should have been an indicator of what was to come--yet Akechi assured him that he hadn’t been the one to kill Okumura (which was true, Akira knew it was true, Akechi had left ahead of them just to prove to Akira that he had no intentions of killing Okumura’s Shadow so it  _ had _ to be true), and Akira found himself believing Akechi when he told him that Shido most likely had other failsafes put into place to take care of Okumura even if Akechi didn’t go through with killing him himself.

It was something that Shido would do, Akira knew that--had seen firsthand the lengths that man would go to in order to assure his own flawless victory--and so even if it hurt to see Haru so upset over the death of her father, he could do nothing but accept this as the inevitability that Akechi assured him it was.

Some things were just meant to be constants across all timelines, Akira supposed, just as he was never able to bring Lavenza back before Yaldabaoth gathered enough power to take over Tokyo and take on his true form. Akechi was right; Okumura was probably just destined to die no matter what.

(Had he managed to save Okumura even once, over the past twenty-to-thirty years? Akira genuinely couldn’t remember, but it was so much easier for his exhausted mind to just accept Akechi’s reassurances and let the matter go.)

Even with the guilt of Okumura’s death weighing them down and the public backlash that they received because of it, Akira pushed the Phantom Thieves to remain strong as they turned their sights on their next target: Sae Niijima.

This was where things would start to get tricky, even Akechi could admit as much when it was the two of them in private--after all, Shido was now pushing to eliminate the Phantom Thieves, with Akechi at the forefront of his plan.

Would it have been easier to just skip past dealing with Sae and go straight after Shido? Possibly, but not only would that mean that Sae would still be on their case--figuratively and literally--but Akira also wasn’t entirely confident that his teammates were powerful enough to make it through Shido’s Palace without putting themselves in serious danger.

Plus, if Akira was completely honest… he was scared. Terrified, really.

He knew what happened more and more often whenever they made it far enough in the year to successfully steal Shido’s treasure, and the thought of Okumura’s death being inevitable brought with it concerns that certain other deaths might end up being deemed as “inevitable” by the universe as well--and if that happened… then what was even the point of coming this far and working this hard to keep changing things?

“Planning ahead isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but look too far ahead and you’ll miss what’s right in front of you,” Akechi warned him, once Akira worked up the nerve to confess his fears to him--and though Akira was still a bit worried, he conceded that Akechi had a point: they should just stick to the plan, and focus on Sae for now before worrying about what would--or hopefully, what  _ wouldn’t _ \--happen in Shido’s Palace.

Said plan was the same exact plan that Akira had used every single time he and the rest of the Phantom Thieves made it this far into the year--except this time, the plan was going to be carried out between just him and Akechi with the rest of the team none the wiser to anything more than the police getting involved and Akira acting as a decoy. It would be risky, since there was the chance that their teammates might do something reckless that would ruin all of their carefully-laid plans once they realized Akira was in danger after the news of his “suicide” was broadcasted, but--as Akechi reminded him--it would just further complicate things at this point if they were to try and explain Akechi’s double-agent status, not to mention the rift it would cause at a time when they really couldn’t afford to be divided and fighting amongst themselves.

As much as it pained Akira to add yet another deception to the list, he knew that Akechi was right. They couldn’t know that Akechi was working for Shido as the Black Mask, not now, not when they were just barely avoiding being arrested by the SIU.

(Akira’s mind was also somewhat put at ease (as well as admittedly pleased) as he saw Akechi showing some reluctance towards carrying out his end of the plan, even as he agreed to play the role of the villain just to make sure Shido didn’t grow suspicious of any of them.)

Before long, the stage was set for their grand performance, with the unwitting actors all in place and the calling card delivered.

Akira could only hope, as he was tackled and pinned to the ground by a swarm of police officers outside of Sae’s Palace, that this would be the very last show he would have to put on.

* * *

Everything was still miraculously going according to plan, even after the close call that was his arrest and subsequent interrogation, and by now--so close to the end of the year, so close to finally being  _ free _ \--Akira was beginning to feel genuine hints of optimistic  _ hope _ bubbling up inside of him, to the point where even his fears about what would happen to Ryuji after they stole Shido’s treasure (not to mention what would happen to Akechi in the depths of Shido’s Palace) were beginning to fade away.

That was his first mistake.

His second mistake--as they finished fighting the Cleaner in the engine room of the ship--was taking his eyes off of Akechi and turning his back on him, walking alongside the rest of his teammates and basking in the confidence and eagerness that they were emanating, simply from the thought of finally getting to take down the person behind all of their pain and struggles.

But his biggest mistake of all, one that he would regret for the rest of his existence, was allowing himself to trust Akechi in the first place.

No one noticed Akechi’s outfit slowly changing, white and red melting away to black and purple, nor did anyone notice the appearance of his second Persona until Futaba suddenly came to a stop and spoke up.

“Guys, hold on--I’m getting some really weird readings. Something strong is super close by, almost like….”

She paled, her eyes going wide and her body going tense as she slowly turned around, everyone else following her lead until the entire group was face to face with Akechi, donned in his Black Mask outfit and grinning madly as he breathed out one single word:

“Checkmate.”

The sounds of his teammates’ shouts faded to a dull noise as soon as Loki’s attack connected with Akira, darkness consuming his vision and constricting his lungs as he collapsed to his knees. Two hands immediately shot up to clutch at his head as if physically trying to ward off the mental assault, fingers digging into his scalp nearly hard enough to pull free the locks of hair that he was gripping as he took choked, ragged breaths--and no matter how hard he tried to stop it, he could feel the darkness seeping into him, the foreign presence digging its claws into his brain and bringing with it wave after wave of sheer  _ agony _ .

He couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t do  _ anything _ but let the power flood through him, his thoughts slowly clouding over as the agony gradually dimmed--and in its place flared up a new sensation, one that his empty, vulnerable mind was quick to latch onto until it consumed his very being:

Pure, bloodthirsty  _ rage _ .

“ _ Are they really your friends? _ ” a foreign yet familiar voice whispered in the back of his mind, the only thing he could hear with all the usual thoughts and memories rushing through his mind having been forcefully silenced. “ _ They never listened, they never cared. _ ”

That’s right.

His friends never listened, never believed him, never even  _ tried _ to understand him like he did for them, over and over again until he had every last detail about them memorized.

Was that really friendship?

He’d already known this whole time that they didn’t care about him nearly as much as he cared about them--after all, if they did, then wouldn’t they have offered to help him? Wouldn’t they have put in more effort to show that they cared?

Would they really have left him to rot in solitary confinement if they were his friends? Left him to die in an interrogation room, beaten and drugged and at the mercy of those cruel adults?

“ _ You’ve given yourself to them, year after year--suffered and grieved and struggled, and what have they done for you in return? _ ”

Nothing.

The people that supposedly loved and cared about him did  _ nothing _ to help him--they only thought to contact him so he could help them with their problems, without ever even  _ asking _ if there was anything he needed help with in return.

While he struggled to hold himself together, struggled to not break down each and every day, struggled to even  _ function _ … they all laughed amongst themselves, carefree in their ignorant bliss without even sparing him a second thought.

“ _ Why don’t you give them a little taste of the hell you’ve been trapped in for so long? _ ”

Akira distantly felt his lips twisting up into a vicious sneer as he jerkily rose to his feet with his dagger in hand, his body nothing more than a hollow puppet with his unhinged fury pulling the strings.

This timeline was doomed to fail just like every other, so why not take his beloved  _ friends _ down with him, so they could share in the nightmare that was his constant reality?

After all the times that he’d died for them… it was only fair that they did the same for him.

* * *

Blood.

All he could see was blood, all he could smell was blood, all he could  _ taste _ in the air was the metallic tang of fresh blood covering himself, the floors--

His friends.

He’d heard their screams, mere noise that hadn’t translated to anything coherent in his frenzied mind. He’d felt their feeble attempts at fighting back, mere mice going up against a lion--because of course they wouldn’t stand a chance, not when he had decades’ worth of fighting experience on his side, not when he had Personas double and triple the level of theirs hidden away in the back of his mind with skills that could strike each of them down with just a single blow.

Not when his knife cut through their skin so smoothly, their armor putting up almost a laughable level of defense against his most powerful blade.

A blade that he’d only brought with him to fight--

Fight who? What was he doing?

Were these the people he was supposed to be fighting?

Didn’t he come to this place to fight someone else?

The bloodthirsty fog clouding his mind slowly began to lift, rage giving way to confusion before shifting to nauseating horror as awareness gradually returned to him.

This… this couldn’t be real.

This had to be-- some sort of joke, or… or  _ something,  _ **_anything_ ** .

There was so much red. So much  _ blood _ .

His friends weren’t moving.

His friends weren’t  _ breathing _ .

Akira wasn’t entirely sure he was still breathing, either--or perhaps he was just breathing too quickly, his vision swimming and the room around him spinning as he took one shaky step towards his friends, and then another, and then another--

Samarecarm. Life Ointment. Balm of Life. Salvation. Mediarahan. Bead Chain. Soma.

_ Nothing was working. _

He knelt by each of his unmoving teammates’ bodies one by one, trying everything in his power to rouse them--yet no matter how many times he cast his strongest spells, no matter how many of his most powerful items he tried to use… his friends remained lifeless, their faces pale and their bodies stained red, red, so much  _ red _ \--

“Morgana…,” Akira called out pitifully to the closest teammate he could reach, shaking the immobile cat lightly as if it would rouse him from his eternal slumber before dragging his shaking, sluggish body over to each of his teammates in turn.

“Makoto… Ann… please… Yusuke… Haru… please wake up… Futaba… R--”

Akira let out a strangled noise as he reached Ryuji’s body, turning him over slightly with trembling hands and feeling his breath hitch as he saw the deep gash slit across Ryuji’s throat, staining his crimson ascot a dull, rusty brown.

He could remember the feeling, how  _ easy _ it had been to run his knife straight across Ryuji’s defenseless throat, watching the life immediately drain from his eyes as he stumbled backwards with a look of pure, pained  _ betrayal _ …

The same look of betrayal that remained etched onto Ryuji’s face even now, accusing him, reminding him this was  _ all his fault _ \--

He’d wanted a change, and he got one.

Something in Akira’s mind finally snapped, the floodgates keeping his emotions at bay collapsing and sending Akira into an anguished frenzy as he leaned over Ryuji’s body and  _ screamed _ , sobs ripping free of his throat with such ferocity that it nearly made him nauseous, his lungs scrambling for air and his eyes burning with hot tears as almost three decades’ worth of repressed grief rushed to the surface all at once.

He couldn’t take this anymore.

He couldn’t  _ do _ this anymore.

He didn’t even want to escape the time loop anymore, he just wanted everything to  _ stop _ .

The pain, the suffering, the death--he was already broken beyond repair, he’d already given up hope, so why was Yaldabaoth still torturing him like this?

Why wouldn’t he just let Akira die, so he could finally be at  _ peace? _

The sound of the safety clicking off of a gun snapped Akira out of his thoughts, and he weakly lifted his head--only to find himself staring straight into the barrel of a gun, with Akechi’s twisted sneer looking down on him.

“I suppose I should thank you,” Akechi said with an air of nonchalance, his words barely registering in Akira’s overwhelmed mind. “This has been a lovely learning experience--I’ve always wondered how Loki’s power would affect a Persona user.” His grin widened as he added, “Now if any other pests show up, I know exactly how to be rid of them, without having to lift a finger myself.”

Slowly, Akira felt his grief shifting, a new feeling simmering beneath the surface to take its place. It wasn’t betrayal, though that was a part of it--and regret was certainly another part, for being foolish enough to let himself be deceived by Akechi’s saccharine lies, for letting himself be strung along to Akechi’s whim without even realizing, all because Akechi had been the only person to tell him everything he’d wanted to hear for so long.

“Such a pity, though--I’m almost disappointed.”

But no, that wasn’t what he was feeling right now.

“I honestly expected more of a fight from you.”

This was pure,

“Succumbing so easily to my lies, to my power, to your own grief…”

vitriolic,

“You truly are nothing more than a piece of poor, pathetic attic trash.”

acidic

“Oh well. It makes my job easier in the end, I suppose. In any case…”

_ loathing _ .

“Game over, Joker.” Akechi’s grin widened, his finger on the trigger. “Better luck next time.”

With that, the familiar sound of a gunshot rang in Akira’s ears as everything faded to black.

* * *

Akira knew that no matter how badly he wished for that gunshot to end it all, no matter how badly he wished to die and  _ stay dead _ , he would end up waking up back in April in the attic of LeBlanc as always.

The only difference this time, however, was that he didn’t wake up with a feeling of numb acceptance, nor one of repressed grief, nor one of helplessness and despair.

No, this time he was  _ seething _ .

He should have known better than to trust a pawn of Yaldabaoth’s,  _ he should have known _ , and yet he’d been so desperate that he’d blindly let himself fall into Akechi’s trap.

He’d let Akechi sweet-talk him into letting his guard down, all sympathetic looks and grounding touches and words of acceptance that Akira needed to hear so badly--

It was disgustingly pitiful, and Akira was  _ furious _ that he’d fallen for that lying, traitorous bastard’s tricks so thoroughly.

He could still feel the loathing bubbling inside of him, burning just under his skin as if ready to burst free at a moment’s notice--and even as he tried to stifle the overwhelming flood of emotions still swirling inside him, one thought remained crystal clear:

Never again would Akira trust Goro Akechi.

Akira was going to get his revenge, that much he was sure of--if not now, then someday, some timeline, when Akira had enough control over his emotions in order to stay on top of Akechi’s mind games.

The more Akira mulled over the thought, the darker his expression grew, until he was practically burning holes into his bedsheets with his heated gaze, his hands clenching the sheets with a white-knuckled grip of pure, unbridled rage.

Akechi wanted to manipulate people? Akira would  _ show him _ manipulation.

He wanted to toy with Akira’s life, to use him for his own gain? Akira would pull that twisted little puppet’s strings so hard that they  _ snap _ .

Slowly, a manic grin began to spread across his face, laughter bubbling up to the surface as he pictured what it would be like to turn the tables, to have Akechi completely in the palm of his hand with the detective none the wiser--so that all it would take was a single move to completely and utterly crush him.

Come hell or high waters, Akira vowed to himself,  _ Goro Akechi will pay _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, Akira's hatred towards--and his quest for vengeance against--Akechi begins lol
> 
> I hate to leave things on this negative note, but unfortunately due to some rl stuff, I'm going to have to put this fic on a mini hiatus ;_; I haven't had much tome to write lately ~~I barely even managed to squeeze out my P4 Halloween fic on time rip~~ and I'm starting to fall behind on writing these drabbles, so I need a bit of time to catch up;; I'll still be updating Signs of Love as usual for anyone keeping up with that fic, since I already have all of those written out, but as for this fic, I'm aiming to try and resume updates around the beginning of December at the latest. Thanks to everyone for all your support thus far, and I hope to see you all again for the next update! <3


	31. Accident (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long, hectic month, I'm finally back to uploading more drabbles! I didn't have as much time to write last month as I would've hoped, but I managed to make it 3/4 of the way through this challenge, so hopefully I can finish writing them by January at the latest (though ideally I'd like to finish writing them all before the end of the year, so I can spend next year focusing on finishing some of my WIPs lol;;)
> 
> Sorry I can't start this back up with a more upbeat drabble skdfj but I promise there's going to be some more softer ones coming up soon! ;u;

It was getting more and more difficult to keep the details of each timeline straight, the more times Akira found himself repeating the year.

Which meant he found himself coming close to slipping up more often.

He tried his best to say as little as possible, talking less and less with each year that passed until he refused to so much as open his mouth unless it was absolutely necessary, out of fear that the wrong thing would slip out at the worst possible time.

Accidentally mentioning details he shouldn’t have known yet, accidentally referencing things that hadn’t happened yet, accidentally approaching people who didn’t know him yet--there were too many ways for him to slip up, too many times that he’d unnecessarily cast suspicion onto himself because of his mistakes, too many times that he’d outright ruined a timeline just by saying one word too many…

It was all just  _ too much _ , yet he had no choice but to bear it and keep pushing forward, hoping that he could just get through the year  _ one more time _ , could reach the finish line just  _ once _ and actually move  _ past _ it instead of getting flung right back to the very beginning.

Yet he knew in his heart that so long as he kept slipping up, kept making mistakes, kept giving in to despair and grief until there was no hope left to be found…

He was never going to escape this endlessly repeating hell.


	32. Awkward (Timeline #5, 07/03/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one hurt my heart to write and then hurt my heart again to reread and post ;_;

This was a bad idea.

Akira  _ knew _ it was a bad idea--and yet when Ryuji had texted him last night, asking if he wanted to go fishing with him today, how could Akira possibly say no?

Even if Ryuji hadn’t told him this time around, Akira still knew that it was his birthday, and the fact that Ryuji wanted to spend time with him and  _ only _ him on his birthday despite Akira keeping everyone at arm’s length meant the world to him.

Not that he could say that, of course--nor could he say that the biggest reason why he accepted the offer was because he felt guilty that, in the first timeline, he hadn’t even  _ known _ it was Ryuji’s birthday that day until months later when they finally started dating. Which of course meant that Akira--though he had spent the day with Ryuji, because how could he ever turn Ryuji down, birthday or not?--had missed the perfect opportunity to give Ryuji a birthday gift and make him feel as special and appreciated as he deserved to feel. Then of course there were the disastrous second and third timelines, where he hadn’t even made it past the first  _ day _ let alone up to Ryuji’s birthday, and the fourth timeline had been spent walking such a strict tightrope as he tried so desperately to follow the first timeline to the letter that he’d been afraid to even  _ think _ about mentioning that he knew it was Ryuji’s birthday.

Now, though Akira wasn’t nearly as close to Ryuji as he used to be (as he  _ wanted,  _ **_needed_ ** to be), he had an opportunity to fix a small instance of guilt from the first timeline, so why not take it? What would be the harm in buying Ryuji a birthday gift?

(There could be a lot of harm, a lot of ways that this could go wrong--but Akira was still so young, still so filled with  _ hope _ despite this being his third proper attempt at living through the year, that he didn’t allow himself to dwell on the negatives and the what-ifs for long.)

The answer came to him in the form of Ryuji’s expression when he opened up the present that Akira had ran to buy for him in the morning before they met up: Ryuji hadn’t even been bothered about Akira somehow knowing when his birthday was, but the minute Akira took out a gift to give to him, he began to look uncomfortable rather than excited.

“Dude, this is… I can’t accept this.”

Ah.

Ryuji gently pushed the box with the silver bangle back into Akira’s limp hands, avoiding so much as brushing their hands against one another (just as Akira had requested at the beginning of the year, because Ryuji was too kind to not take Akira’s claim of being touch-averse to heart no matter how  _ starved _ Akira truly was for Ryuji’s gentle, affectionate touches).

“I mean, I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong!” Ryuji hastily added, as if somehow sensing Akira’s heartbreak through his impassive expression. “But like… dude, I have no idea how you even got the kind of money to buy something like that, but there’s  _ way _ more important things that money could go towards than wasting it on a gift for me, y’know?”

What could Akira possibly say to that? Logically, he knew Ryuji had a point--even with the small bit of money he had left over from the first and fourth timelines, he’d still just barely managed to scrape together enough to buy the bracelet, which would mean he’d probably have to work double or even triple shifts to make sure they had enough money to buy all of the gear and supplies that they would need to prepare for Futaba’s Palace, now that Kaneshiro was taken care of.

Still, that didn’t stop the pain from spreading through Akira’s chest, seizing his heart and his lungs in a vice grip until he could hardly even breathe.

“Just… I dunno, go get your money back for that, and if you really wanna do something for my birthday, we’ll go out for ramen, alright?” Ryuji added hesitantly, upon receiving no response from Akira. He glanced away slightly, lowering his voice to a murmur as he continued with a hint of embarrassment, “Of all the people to make a big deal about this, you were kinda… low on my list, to be honest. I was surprised you said yes to hanging out today so quickly, too; it kinda feels like you don’t even wanna be around me sometimes.”

Of course Ryuji would notice. Of course he would be hurting over this just like Akira was. Of course--

And yet, Akira couldn’t do a thing about it. He couldn’t allow himself to grow too close, not when he could barely keep his feelings under control, not when the memories of the very first year were still so fresh in his mind, not when he could still clearly remember Ryuji looking at him like a stranger, and looking at him like he was insane, and looking at him while confessing that he had feelings for Ann, and--

It hurt. It hurt so goddamn much, and Akira couldn’t do a thing to stop it, not when it meant jeopardizing everything he’d been working so hard for.

He just had to get through the rest of this year, and then… then he could work on properly rebuilding his bonds, could work on mending his fractured relationships, could work on piecing his mind and heart back together one shard at a time.

Still, there was one thing that he could do, one thing that would hopefully salvage what little bit of a friendship he still had with Ryuji, at least long enough to get them both through the next few months.

“I do. Want to be around you, I mean,” Akira replied softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he tightened his grip on the bracelet box. “I’m just… bad at showing it. I’m sorry. I thought this would help, but-- it was… too much, I guess.”

Ryuji stared at him for a moment in stunned shock, before--to Akira’s relief--brightening up with a smile.

It was still a bit hesitant, but it was genuine and filled with the warmth that Akira was craving so badly that it almost made Akira smile back.

“Yeah, you do kinda suck at this, huh,” Ryuji joked, reflexively lifting his hand and reaching out towards Akira before jerking to a halt, his hand hovering awkwardly for a moment as he silently searched Akira’s face for any signs of repulsion before tentatively setting it down on Akira’s shoulder, his touch feather-light and ready to pull back at a moment’s notice. “But… hearing that was prolly the best birthday present I ever could’ve gotten, so… thanks, seriously.”

Akira wanted to cry.

He wanted to lean into the hand on his shoulder, he wanted to move closer to that warmth until the cold chill of isolation melted away, he wanted to spill his heart and soul to Ryuji here and now because he loved him  _ so much _ and it hurt so  _ badly _ that he’d pushed Ryuji away to the point where Ryuji had seriously been doubting if Akira even  _ cared _ about him--

Ryuji’s hand disappeared, the moment of contact feeling like an eternity and an instant all at once, and it took all of Akira’s self-control to keep from letting out a whimper and chasing after the retreating warmth.

Pathetic. He was so goddamn pathetic and he  _ hated _ it. He was the one that had pushed Ryuji away to begin with. He had no right to complain now, no matter how much it hurt.

Everything would fix itself once this year was over, he reminded himself.

Just a few more months of this suffering, and then this time for sure, it would all be over. Everyone would be happy, everyone would be  _ free _ , and Akira could let himself be as honest as he wanted with the people that he loved so dearly.

Until then, though, all he could offer was the barest hint of a smile in response to Ryuji’s grin, the awkwardness in the air between them lifting now that the moment was over.

For now, that was enough. It had to be.


	33. Impulsive (Timeline #100, 12/24/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, but I promise the next chapter will be longer sdkfj

Akira wouldn’t consider himself an impulsive person--perhaps he had been once upon a time, at least a small bit, but with how well this timeline was finally going… well, he felt it was justified for him to want to be extra cautious, even if it was a bit over the top sometimes.

Yet almost paradoxically, the person who was the sole reason for Akira wanting to be so careful was also the person who most often brought out the urge to just  _ act _ without overthinking things.

That’s why when he found himself reaching for Ryuji’s sweater, as the two of them sat together in the attic of LeBlanc on Christmas Eve, he let himself follow through on the impulsive decision instead of second-guessing himself.

Ryuji’s sweater was warm, and soft and comfortable in the way that an old, worn sweater was, and it was the best impulsive decision that Akira made this entire timeline--

Or, well. No, that wasn’t true.

The best impulsive decision Akira made this timeline was letting himself vent to Ryuji in the first place, letting himself pour his heart and soul out to the one person he wanted to listen to him for so long, and letting himself accept the comfort that Ryuji offered to him without hesitation.

Akira could only hope, as he hugged the sweater to his chest and sat next to Ryuji to watch him open his Christmas present, that there would be a future ahead of them that would allow him to indulge in even more pleasantly impulsive behavior by Ryuji’s side.


	34. Sparkle (Timeline #100, 04/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this was actually the very first drabble in the collection that I wrote, mainly because I already had the idea in my head for the main fic but wasn't able to work it in asdkfj so I managed to find a prompt in the list that would fit with the idea and I just ran with it lol
> 
> Also I think I love writing Akira & Ann's friendship as much as I love writing Akira & Ryuji together or Akira & Futaba's sibling relationship, they're so cute ;u;

“Akira, for the last time:  _ no. _ ”

“But… but Ann--”

Ann let out a long sigh, putting her hands on Akira’s shoulders and forcefully steering him away from the jewelry showcase filled with large diamond rings.

“You wanted me to come with you to help you pick out an engagement ring for Ryuji, right?” Ann asked, her expression fondly exasperated. “Then listen to me when I’m telling you that Ryuji would  _ not _ like one of those gaudy rings.”

“But he deserves the biggest diamond money can buy--”

Ann rolled her eyes. “It really is a good thing you asked me for help, otherwise you would’ve bought out this whole  _ store _ for him.” Upon seeing the calculating expression on Akira’s face, she hastily added, “And that was  _ not _ a suggestion, so don’t even  _ think _ about it, mister.”

Akira’s shoulders slumped as he let out a dejected sigh. “I just… he deserves the  _ world _ , Ann--I don’t want to get him some plain old ring, I want it to be something  _ huge _ , something  _ special _ , something that shows even just a  _ fraction _ of how much I adore him.”

“I know,” Ann replied, her expression softening as she gave Akira’s arm a light, encouraging squeeze. “We’ll find something like that for him, I promise.” Teasingly, she added, “Now are you going to actually listen to my suggestions, or are you just going to go back to eyeing giant rocks?”

Finally, Akira cracked a small smile. “Alright, alright. Suggest away, oh wise one.”

Ann laughed. “Now that’s more like it!”

With that, she went back to what she was doing before Akira had distracted her: wandering around the store and browsing each showcase with a critical eye, her gaze carefully roaming the vast selection of rings on display. Since Ann had forbade him from looking at any more diamond rings and getting any more grandiose ideas, Akira was left with nothing else to do but follow Ann around the store like a lost puppy, looking clearly anxious despite his trust in Ann’s judgment.

He couldn’t help it, though--he was going to  _ propose to Ryuji _ , an idea he’d never so much as let himself  _ dream _ about before now. Part of him knew that there was no way that Ryuji would ever say no, but a larger part of him worried that maybe Ryuji wasn’t ready for this, or that maybe Ryuji wouldn’t like the ring, or maybe even Ryuji would say that he wasn’t interested in getting married at all and then he would get upset with Akira for putting him on the spot and--

Ann’s hand slipped into his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze and easing Akira’s anxiously-spiraling thoughts to a halt, and he let out a quiet, relieved sigh before giving Ann a small, sheepish smile.

“Sorry. I’m… I’m fine. Just a bit nervous, that’s all.”

“You know he’s going to say yes, right?” Ann replied softly. “No matter what kind of ring you get him.”

Akira’s expression relaxed at the reassurance. “I… yeah, I know. Sorry for making such a huge deal out of this.”

“Akira, you’re  _ proposing _ , I think this is the one time you can get away with making a big deal out of things,” Ann teased lightly, clearly relieved to see Akira feeling a bit more at ease, before pointing to one of the showcases with her free hand. “Now, what do you think about those rings there?”

Akira looked where she was pointing, humming thoughtfully at the bands on display. “Too plain.”

Ann rolled her eyes. “Of course,” she replied dryly, before adding, “I personally think Ryuji would feel more comfortable wearing a ring that’s a bit on the plainer side, though--I mean if it were for  _ me _ , that would be a different story, but Ryuji’s your typical guy. I don’t even think he  _ owns _ any jewelry besides that spiked leather bracelet that he wears sometimes, and the matching necklace set that you two have.”

Akira smiled as he moved his free hand up to the chain in question, loving the reminder that he was wearing something that matched with Ryuji--that Ryuji  _ bought for him _ , even.

“Focus, dork.”

Ann’s light slap to his arm pulled Akira from his lovestruck reverie, prompting another sheepish smile from him as he shrugged weakly.

“Okay, so maybe plainer is better for Ryuji, but I still want  _ something _ more than a completely plain ring, even if it’s just a subtle touch of color. Think we could find a middle ground along those lines?”

Ann smiled teasingly. “ _ Finally _ , some progress! I can  _ definitely _ work with that.”

With that, Ann tugged him along once more, and Akira followed without complaint as she pointed out a few different suggestions before one finally piqued Akira’s interest.

“That one,” Akira declared, pointing at a black titanium band lined with rubies, his heart lifting the longer he looked at it.

The rubies were set flush with the ring, so they wouldn’t stand out, yet they still provided a touch of color against the stylish black band--not to mention that it was Ryuji’s birthstone, plus the red color would (hopefully) remind Ryuji of Akira every time he looked at it.

It was simple, and it was  _ perfect _ , so much more perfect than any giant diamond ring.

Ann grinned as she observed the excited look in Akira’s eyes, giving his hand another light squeeze. “I could totally see Ryuji wearing that one! I’m sure he’s gonna love it.”

She let go of his hand in order to wave over a salesperson, and Akira settled everything with them--providing Ryuji’s ring size and paying for the ring in full, as well as paying extra to have a second ring made with yellow topaz in place of rubies for himself, upon remembering Ann’s comment about their matching necklaces and realizing that he wanted to have matching rings with Ryuji as well--before leaving the store alongside Ann, feeling as if he was on cloud nine.

He would have to come back to pick up his own ring later, since it was a custom order, but he’d been able to leave with Ryuji’s ring in hand as they thankfully had his size in stock--and now here he was, holding Ryuji’s ring as if it were the most sacred of treasures as he held it up to the light, admiring the slight sparkle of the rubies against the polished band.

“So, lover-boy, any ideas for how you’re going to propose?” Ann asked with a light, teasing elbow to Akira’s side.

Akira hummed in thought as he carefully put the ring back into its box. “Something a little less over the top than usual?”

“Wow, you’re  _ learning! _ ” Ann pretended to wipe away a tear. “I’m so proud.”

Akira huffed, trying and failing to fight the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. “Well  _ excuse me _ for wanting the world to know how much I love Ryuji.”

Now it was Ann’s turn to hum in thought, a mischievous gleam lighting up her eyes. “The  _ world _ might be a bit much, but… I think I’ve got an idea that you’re going to love.”

She leaned over to whisper in his ear, her own grin widening as she saw the bright, excited smile that slowly spread across Akira’s face.

“Ann, that’s  _ perfect _ . I swear, if I wasn’t already in love with Ryuji I would kiss you.”

“Sorry, my lips are already reserved for Shiho~” Ann replied with a laugh. “But you’re welcome--I  _ love _ planning stuff like this, it’s so exciting! Make sure to let me plan your wedding too, ‘kay?”

“Our wedding….”

Ann rolled her eyes in fond amusement as she saw Akira’s expression soften into a dopey, lovestruck grin at the thought of a wedding between him and Ryuji.

“Yes, your wedding, you dork. What do you  _ think _ comes after the proposal?”

“I know, I know,” Akira replied with a sheepish laugh. “I just… Ann, you don’t understand: I spent  _ decades _ thinking this was never going to happen, so the fact that it’s happening now is just… it’s going to take a long time for it to really sink in that this isn’t just a dream.”

Ann’s expression softened. “Akira….”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get all serious there.” Akira smiled and looped his arm with Ann’s. “I’m alright, I promise. Now c’mon, let’s go check out that crêperie that you mentioned last time--my treat, of course.”

Ann hugged Akira’s arm, a grin easily working its way back onto her face as she teased, “Trying to win my favor with sweets again? You’re lucky I’m so easy to please.”

With that, Ann led the way out into the busy streets of Tokyo, and Akira was content to follow despite already knowing where they needed to go, his heart feeling light and his smile bright and genuine as he remained conscious of the ring box sitting safely in his pocket.

Soon, his dream was going to become a reality--and despite the slight bit of anxiousness that still swirled around the back of his mind, Akira could safely say that he’d never felt more excited and elated in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that doesn't remember from the main fic, [here's](http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/TH0AAOSw~oFXGxye/s-l300.jpg) a picture of the ring that Akira bought, it's the band on the left!


	35. Embrace (Timeline #100, XX/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times can I write about Akira's undying love for Ryuji before getting tired of it?  
> The answer is I will never get tired of it ever and I'm sorry to everyone who's along for the ride lmao

Even years after the end of the time loop, years after their engagement, years after their marriage… there was just nothing that could compare to the peaceful contentment that Akira felt whenever he was in Ryuji’s arms.

It was something that Akira couldn’t ever fully explain, couldn’t ever find the right words to express--because even now, after spending years together with Ryuji, it was still only one small drop in the bucket compared to all of the decades Akira had spent  _ without _ him. There were some mornings where Akira still felt like he was dreaming as he woke up in Ryuji’s arms, curled up against his chest while laying in a bed that wasn’t a mattress on top of some crates, in a room that wasn’t an attic above a cafe.

It was  _ surreal _ . A good kind of surreal, of course, but surreal all the same.

Akira would come home after work every day, to an apartment that belonged to  _ him and Ryuji _ , and would just take a moment to look around, to try and help it sink in that this was really  _ his reality _ and not just a fantasy or an illusion. If Ryuji had gotten home before him, he would notice--as he always did, ever since that fateful day back in high school--and immediately pull Akira into a kiss with his arms wrapped comfortably around him, as if trying to wipe away every last trace of disbelief from Akira’s mind without a single word needing to pass between them.

And if Ryuji wasn’t home… well, that was okay too. Akira had the reassuring weight of his wedding ring sitting on his finger, alongside his engagement ring, to ground him until his husband returned--and of course, as soon as Ryuji got home, Akira wasted no time in throwing his arms around him in a giddy hug that Ryuji always returned without hesitation, his laughter sounding like music to Akira’s ears each and every time.


	36. Sweet (Timeline #100, 05/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another short post-canon Ann/Shiho chapter to change things up <3

“Do you ever eat anything  _ other _ than sweets?”

Ann glanced up from her parfait at the sound of her girlfriend’s teasing voice, pouting slightly around the spoon in her mouth.

“Sweets are good,” she replied petulantly, taking another spoonful of her parfait and pointedly not replying to the question.

Shiho rolled her eyes, but was unable to help the affection that laced her tone as she wryly replied, “It’s good to know that some things haven’t changed, even after all this time.”

She reached across the table with her own spoon, swiping a scoop of Ann’s parfait for herself and laughing as Ann immediately let out a noise of indignant protest and pulled the parfait out of Shiho’s thieving reach.

“Sorry, sorry,” Shiho apologized, looking completely unapologetic as she ate the helping of parfait and smiling as she hummed around her spoon. “Oh, that really  _ is _ good.”

“Right?”

In almost record speed, Ann perked back up with a bright smile of her own, prompting another swell of amusement and endearment in Shiho as she observed her girlfriend.

She was beyond thankful to Akira, for not only helping her escape Kamoshida’s clutches before he could do something irreversible to her, but for also supporting Ann for the two years that they were separated, until Shiho was able to rejoin her girlfriend in Tokyo for university. Unfortunately, they weren’t going to the same university--Shiho was riding a full scholarship for volleyball, while Ann was focusing on her modeling career, and there weren’t any universities that had programs that would accommodate them both--but… 

Shiho leaned across the table to capture Ann’s lips in a brief kiss, tasting the sweetness that was distinctly Ann and savoring the feeling of her kissing back without hesitation.

… even just getting to be in the same city together, enjoying every last second that they were able to spare to be with one another to the fullest, was what was most important in the end.

( _ After all _ , something in the depths of Shiho’s heart whispered,  _ things could have ended much worse for them both. _ )


	37. Cold (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing touch-starved Akira always hurts ;_;

At some point, Akira had stopped being able to feel warmth.

Not that he couldn’t physically feel heat--he still baked under the sun, still sweated along with everyone else in the deserts of Futaba’s Palace, still needed to cool down in the water at Hawaii--but as soon as he stepped out of the sun, the chill that held the broken shards of his heart in a vice-grip rapidly spread back through the rest of his body, until he found himself having to hide constant shivers beneath extra layers of clothing.

Of course, he knew that the sweaters that he took to burying himself in--with the excuse of poor circulation keeping him feeling cold, even when his cheeks were clearly flushed and his body temperature was much too high--were doing more harm than good. The warmth that he was lacking wasn’t something that could be solved by wearing warmer clothes, and though he still felt chilled to the bone, he paradoxically nearly found himself passing out from his body overheating, especially under the brutal summer sun.

That wasn’t the only reason they were doing him harm, though.

The extra layers were a buffer, a barrier that kept people’s touches from reaching him, one that muffled the unwanted ( _ desperately needed _ ) sensation of human contact the few times whichever significant other was with him in that timeline forgot his aversion to touch and got clingy with him.

Without the feeling of another person’s touch, Akira’s heart was slowly freezing over--and yet the only person he wanted to be close to was the one person who would never again hold him the way he wanted to be held.

Akira could only hope that the cold would just consume him whole already, so his desire for Ryuji’s warmth and the pain of knowing it would never be his would finally fade into blessed numbness.


	38. Warmth (Timeline #100, XX/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I had a rough day and an even rougher night;;; But at least rereading this made me feel a bit warm and fuzzy, so thank you past me for writing something soft for today's upload lol

The first hug that Ryuji pulled Akira into was like a shock to his system, as if Ryuji’s Metaverse abilities had leaked out into the real world for one single moment in order to fry every last synapse in Akira’s body.

It was so intense that it had almost physically  _ hurt _ , yet Akira still leaned into it with desperation, his body shaking as he tried to process the feelings swirling around inside of him.

Then it finally clicked.

This was… warmth, wasn’t it?

He felt so  _ warm _ .

The kiss that Ryuji pressed to his lips stole away what little composure he had left, causing him to devolve into tears that, once started, were so incredibly difficult to stop.

He felt like he was in a dream, and yet at the same time he never felt more awake--more  _ alive _ \--in his far-too-long life than he did now.

Though the strong shock to his body began to die down the more times he found himself being hugged and kissed by Ryuji, the sheer  _ warmth _ that swelled up in his cold, frozen chest remained the same no matter how many months passed by, until he felt thawed, revived,  _ happy _ .

He could tolerate being around other people now, which was a miracle in and of itself after the pit of isolation and despair that he’d fallen into. He could also tolerate--and craved, even--the physical affection from his friends, affection that he’d shied away from for decades upon decades no matter how much his body and mind both needed it.

And there was always someone, now: Ryuji most often, of course, but on the occasions that Ryuji wasn’t around, he would have Futaba glued to his side, or Ann hanging off his arm and holding his hand, or Haru’s gentle hugs, or Morgana curled up on his lap or his chest purring away, or Yusuke grasping his hands and pulling him along to his whims during one of his bursts of creative energy, or even Makoto with a reassuring hand on his arm or shoulder.

Each and every time, it left Akira feeling so,  _ so _ warm and content, and so filled with adoration and appreciation for each and every one of his dear friends.

But of course, there was no comparing to the warmth that being in Ryuji’s arms gave him, spreading from head to toe and leaving him feeling lightheaded and giddy as he clung to his affectionate boyfriend in return.

There was still a small voice in the back of his mind, telling him that this happiness, this warmth and light and love, would get torn away from him like always--but Akira forcibly ignored the doubts and fears that tried to creep up on him, that tried to leech away the feeling of contentment that Akira had finally attained and replace it with the cold chill of dread and despair.

Akira had, at long last, been handed a miracle in the form of Ryuji’s affection and support, and he would be damned if he let anyone steal away the warmth of Ryuji’s love from him ever again.


	39. Thank You (Timeline #100, 05/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another soft, slightly bittersweet chapter from the beginning of timeline #100 because I love writing his mental state from back then even if it also hurts my heart ;_;

It was almost easy for Akira to forget, in the midst of Yusuke’s introduction into their group and the task of taking on Madarame’s Palace with a set deadline, about everything that happened between him and Ryuji barely a week ago.

Of course, he didn’t  _ actually _ forget: he didn’t think it was possible for him to ever forget the feeling of the one person in the entire universe that Akira had wanted to understand and accept him, the one person that Akira loved and adored above all else, hugging and kissing him like Akira had dreamed of for so long. It was just that he was so used to not having this supportive, physically affectionate relationship with Ryuji that any time the two of them weren’t together, he found himself lapsing back into old habits.

Habits that weren’t exactly healthy--for example, avoiding sleep like it was the plague.

Akira hated having to sleep. He hated his traitorous body’s need for rest when he knew fully well that all that would come of it was a relentless torrent of cruel, painful memories rushing through his mind against his will, dragged up to the surface by the impairment of Akira’s already-weak control over his memory repression the second his consciousness began to slip away. He never woke up feeling rested--in fact, he always woke up feeling even more exhausted than before he’d attempted to sleep--so he just didn’t see the point, and often only gave in because of Morgana’s persistent nagging.

If Morgana wasn’t one of his dearest friends, just like the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Akira would have told him to back off and stop pushing the issue of sleep years ago. He wouldn’t say that he could never do that to someone he cared about, because there were unfortunately some timelines where he’d gotten so fed up with the universe as a whole that he’d ended up lashing out at the people closest to him in response, but Akira generally tried to avoid upsetting any of his friends if at all possible, even if it meant putting up with a torturous cycle of trying to force himself to sleep only to be jarred from his unconscious state, disoriented and sick to his stomach as he tried to push aside the haunting images and remind himself of what had and hadn’t happened this time around.

It was rare, though, that anyone besides Morgana tried to push him to get some sleep--and it was even rarer that Akira felt inclined, almost excited, to agree to get some rest.

Yet when Ryuji had come over to hang out, only for him to point out that Akira looked dead on his feet and offer to lay down and take a nap with him, Akira found himself saying yes before he could even really process what he’d just agreed to.

Not that he was protesting in the least, of course. He was more than happy to let Ryuji guide him over to the bed to lie down--and when Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him close as Akira rested his head against Ryuji’s chest, Akira couldn’t help but relax against him with a long, pleased sigh.

Like every other time that Ryuji held him, Akira’s mind was blissfully silent, allowing him to fully bask in the feeling of Ryuji’s firm chest under his head, Ryuji’s steady heartbeat reaching his ear, Ryuji’s fingers gently running through his hair…

Akira was so far beyond grateful towards Ryuji for granting him these small moments of pure, unadulterated  _ peace _ , enough so that his eyes began to cloud over with unshed tears as he smiled and nuzzled against Ryuji’s chest.

All Akira could do, to try and convey his gratitude, was to breathe out a quiet, reverent “ _ Thank you _ .”

And somehow, as he felt Ryuji’s lips press against the top of his head in response, Akira knew that those two words alone were enough.


	40. Gift (Timeline #100, XX/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a cute little drabble for adult married Pegoryu ;u; <3

“You seriously still have this old thing?”

Akira glanced over his shoulder curiously at Ryuji, as the two of them unpacked boxes in their brand new house--which Ryuji had stubbornly refused to agree to get until he could contribute at least _somewhat_ to purchasing it, even if Akira paid the bulk of the total in the end to avoid the need for a mortgage--and brightened up as Ryuji held up what could barely be recognized as a phone strap, after all the years of wear and tear it went through.

“Oh, _that’s_ where it was! I knew I packed it somewhere.”

Akira took the strap from Ryuji, running his fingers along the charm--which had long since lost its paint, and was a bit chipped on one of the corners--with a happy, nostalgic smile on his face.

By contrast, Ryuji was blushing lightly in a mixture of embarrassment and fond exasperation as he watched his overly-sentimental husband.

“I can’t believe you held onto that for all these years. You don’t even need it anymore, right?”

There was a hint of pride that laced Ryuji’s tone at that last bit, just from knowing how far Akira had come mentally and emotionally since high school, or even since university. Though he still had his occasional lapses, mainly around certain times of the year (everyone knew to give Akira extra support around March and April as well as near his birthday in November, and Akira refused to leave Ryuji’s side every year for a few days in mid-December even if he himself realized that he was being overly paranoid), Akira could now walk around with his head held high as he exuded the same composed, almost cocky confidence that he once had only been able to summon up within the Metaverse.

Akira turned his soft gaze away from the phone strap in his hand and over to his husband as he replied, “It was the first gift you gave me, Ryuji. Of course I kept it.”

“Huh, was it really?” Ryuji furrowed his brows in thought. “I seriously didn’t buy you anything before that?”

“The first gift that I could save; a few meals and a bouquet of flowers don’t count,” Akira replied with a hint of amusement, before adding, “though I’m pretty sure I still have those flowers pressed in a book somewhere, now that I think about it….”

“For real?” Ryuji couldn’t help but let a laugh slip out as he moved over to his husband’s side, slipping an arm around him and kissing his cheek. “You’re such a sap, I swear… we’re gonna run out of room eventually if you keep saving everything I get you, y’know.”

Akira laughed softly as well, his smile widening as he leaned against Ryuji’s side. “I can’t help it. You know I treasure everything I have with you, and everything you give me--down to the smallest phone strap,” he added teasingly.

“C’mon, cut me some slack! I was in _high school_ , I barely had enough money to buy _anything_ back then,” Ryuji replied with a huff, his playful annoyance immediately melting away as Akira leaned closer to him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I know, and that’s why it meant the world to me,” Akira said with a gentle, enamored smile. “You worked around your budget and put so much thought into finding a gift just for me. How could I not cherish it?”

Ryuji swore he felt his heart physically swelling in gratitude and adoration as he pulled Akira into another kiss, nearly laughing as Akira immediately melted into the gesture.

Even with how much they had both grown and matured as people, graduating from school and getting jobs and now owning a _house_ together, apparently there were just some things that would never change--and they both wouldn’t have it any other way.


	41. Smile (Timeline #100, 08/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for something different! Here's a small snippet of one of the few times that Ryuji modeled for Yusuke (which I'm only just realizing that I only ever alluded to and never actually wrote anything for until now lol)

“No, no, that’s not right--”

Ryuji let out an aggravated sigh, slumping slightly in exasperation as Yusuke continuously critiqued his form while circling around him and shaking his head slightly with a disapproving frown.

“Dude, c’mon! You know I can’t hold still long enough for this shit!” Ryuji huffed. “Can’t we just stick with me running while you draw or paint or whatever?”

“While I do enjoy those exercises, that is not what I’m looking to achieve with this composition,” Yusuke replied, his brows furrowing slightly in thought. “I  _ know _ you possess what I am looking to portray, but there is something off, something lacking…,” he murmured, more to himself than to Ryuji, before suddenly brightening up as inspiration struck. “ _ Akira! _ ”

Ryuji blinked, caught off-guard by the sudden exclamation of Akira’s name. “Huh?”

“Ah, yes, of course, how did I not realize sooner?!” Yusuke continued, oblivious to Ryuji’s confusion. “That’s the solution! The missing piece of the equation! Of course I couldn’t find what I was looking to achieve; I wasn’t giving you the proper direction!”

“Uh… okay??” Ryuji ran a hand through his hair, his expression still completely bewildered. “What’s that got to do with Akira, though?”

“You say that you cannot remain still for a long period of time?” Yusuke asked, and when Ryuji--who had no idea where Yusuke was going with this sudden question, though he couldn’t claim to ever understand Yusuke’s train of thought--nodded, Yusuke continued, “And what of when you are with Akira?”

“When I’m with--” Ryuji paused, his cheeks heating up lightly. “That’s… huh. I guess I don’t really have much trouble staying still when I’m with him, now that I think about it.”

“Yes, yes, exactly! Now close your eyes and channel that feeling,” Yusuke urged, and though Ryuji felt absolutely ridiculous, he did as told.

With how often the two of them were together, it wasn’t difficult at all to close his eyes and picture Akira in his arms, with his head resting against Ryuji’s chest and a peaceful smile on his face--and without even realizing, a content, affectionate smile worked its way onto his face as well, his restlessness long since gone from his mind as he relaxed and indulged in the many,  _ many _ memories that he’d made over the past few months of Akira in the same exact position against him.

(Especially now that they were officially boyfriends, and  _ especially _ now that Ryuji had come to terms with his own feelings towards Akira.)

“ _ Brilliant _ ….”

Yusuke’s soft, breathless comment hardly even reached Ryuji’s ears as the artist rushed over to his canvas, his eyes bright with a fervent rush of creativity.

Ryuji was, most assuredly, one of the  _ best _ muses Yusuke had ever had the pleasure of working with, second only to Akira--and to make things even better, it was the two of them that fueled each other, their feelings going hand in hand serving as the perfect inspiration for Yusuke.

With these two supporting his endeavors--with their soft, complex smiles overflowing with more emotion than he could even begin to capture with his meager skills, yet would strive to do with every fiber of his being--Yusuke knew for sure that he would one day achieve his lifelong dream of creating a masterpiece that would make his mother, and her  _ Sayuri _ , proud.


	42. Overflow (Timeline #100, 01/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was actually supposed to be prompt #43, but I wanted to upload a happier chapter on Christmas so I decided to swap today's drabble with Friday's so I could get the depressing one out of the way first asdlfkj
> 
> Just another small look at Akira's mental decline from the beginning of chapter 19 of TMF, because I apparently didn't hurt him enough there that I had to write more about it lol;;

He’d known this would happen at some point.

Or rather, it was more accurate to say that it already  _ had _ happened once before--during the brief period in which Joker had been dead in the eyes of the public--but it hadn’t been anywhere close to the same extent.

After all, he’d had Ryuji with him that time to help him pull himself together, with hardly a few days passing before Akira had finally given in and admitted that he wasn’t okay, even if he hadn’t been able to give voice to it.

(Not that it mattered, since he hadn’t had to say a single word to Ryuji before his godsend of a boyfriend realized what the problem was and immediately set out to fix it, to help Akira piece his fractured mind back together with the patience of a saint and the kind, loving heart to match.)

This time, though, Ryuji wasn’t here to help him. No one was.

He was all alone, just like always.

Alone, and at the mercy of the overflow of memories, bursting free from the feeble dam that he’d built in his mind to keep them at bay, flooding through his head until he could feel himself losing his grip, falling, sinking--

Minutes passed into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, one month into the next.

A familiar, cold bed. A familiar, small window.

A familiar sweater, the significance of which was lost in the torrent of memories rushing through his mind, faster than he could be bothered to keep up with.

It didn’t matter. Everything would be over after he left this cell, anyway.

After all… what was the point of trying to breach the surface for a single breath of air, when he knew he was fated to drown in the end?

Over, and over, and over again, with no one any the wiser.


	43. Laugh (Timeline #100, 09/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating today, and happy holidays to everyone who isn't! I'm sorry I don't have anything Christmas-related to post, and that all I can offer today is this tiny drabble ;_; I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless, though! <3

Akira, Ryuji noticed, was finally beginning to smile and laugh more freely around others.

Not that Akira hadn’t before, but his expressions were always so subdued, and his laughter was hardly above a quiet chuckle when there were more people around than just the two of them--yet now Ryuji was watching as Akira laughed without restraint with Ann and Haru as they sat together, his expression so open and  _ bright _ that Ryuji couldn’t help the swell of warm pride that rushed through him in response.

This is what he wanted for Akira, what he’d hoped for from the very first moment that he’d heard the sweet, beautiful sound of Akira’s unabashed, mirthful joy leaving his lips. Of course, Ryuji was happy to be able to experience that sound for himself, but Akira’s laughter was something that the whole  _ world _ should be able to hear too.

Unfortunately, considering everything Akira had been through, Ryuji doubted that he would ever let his guard down enough to laugh this freely around most people, but… well, as long as Akira was finally at the point where he could laugh around his friends, that was what was most important.

After all, though Akira didn’t like to talk about it more than necessary, Ryuji knew that there were most likely plenty of timelines where Akira hadn’t been able to smile and laugh around anyone at all--and Ryuji could only hope that Akira would never have to feel that way ever again, for the rest of their lives.


	44. Scattered (Timeline #100, 10/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Christmas is over, back to more angst lmao

No matter how hard Akira tried to hold on, his memories slipped through his fingers like fine grains of sand.

Normally this wouldn’t bother him, but he couldn’t afford to get his memories mixed up--not now, not this timeline, any timeline but this one.

He  _ had to _ remember everything. He couldn’t let a single detail escape him, couldn’t let a single memory get mixed up--not when this was the perfect timeline that he’d been fighting for, been  _ so scared _ of hoping for for so long.

Yet as hard as he tried, one day bled into the next, disorienting him with just how  _ similar _ everything was to so many other timelines. His mind felt like it was frayed, his thoughts scattered and disjointed as he grasped at scraps of changes, things that would tether him to this timeline--except not even that was enough, not when the amount of  _ similar _ things filling his room outweighed the differences.

Akira was very vocal and obvious about his fear of change, but almost paradoxically, he was terrified of things remaining the same even more, for this exact reason. His mind just  _ couldn’t handle it _ .

Thank god for Ryuji. If Ryuji hadn’t texted him, if he hadn’t followed through on his impulse to call Ryuji, if Ryuji hadn’t realized what was wrong and came to help him….

He could only imagine how much worse his mind would have been, if even just a few days had been this bad.

(Ryuji swore that Akira would never have to find out. Akira didn’t have the heart to tell him what he already knew would happen in a few months’ time, nor did he want to dwell on the thought, not while he was still trying to pull himself back together and brace himself for everything that they would have to face over the next few weeks.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I am proud to say that as of today, I actually finished all 100 prompts!! Which means I somehow managed to hit my goal of finishing this entire fic collection before the end of the year, even if it's just with five days to spare lmao;; Of course it's going to take a lot longer to actually post all of them, but at least you guys can know for sure that I'm not going to drop this halfway through or something lol, you can definitely expect to see all 100 prompts up over the course of the next few months! <3


	45. Comfort (Timeline #100, 05/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I think aside from writing Akira and Ryuji's PoV, writing Futaba's PoV is my favorite, I love her so much ;u; I don't write nearly enough Yutaba, but hopefully the fact that the Yutaba fics in this collection (including the ones I haven't posted yet) are pretty much some of the longest fics in the entire collection will make up for that lol

One month into her first year at Kosei--her first year attending school since middle school, even--and Futaba found herself… not  _ adjusted _ , per se, but something close.

She didn’t have any friends yet, but those things took time, right? It wasn’t like she’d made any enemies, so it could have been a lot worse--and it wasn’t like people were avoiding trying to talk to her or anything, either. It was just… she was having a little bit of trouble responding in a favorable way to anyone who tried to approach her. Not on  _ purpose _ , of course, but her lack of social skills was becoming increasingly apparent with each failed conversation, as was how much she’d taken the Phantom Thieves and their friendship for granted.

Making friends was  _ hard _ . Like  _ post-game quest- _ level hard. No wonder Akira didn’t want to interact with anyone outside of his circle; finding a group of people that you could trust was like… like finding a single golden treasure chest hidden in a dungeon filled with nothing but monsters and mob characters.

(Or like finding a needle in a haystack, but that was such a boring and overused analogy. Who put needles in haystacks, anyway?)

Still, just because it was hard didn’t mean Futaba was  _ giving up _ . Even if it was discouraging to see other people with their own groups and cliques, while she sat off at a table to the side all alone with her lunch, she knew she would be able to clear this quest and level up at some point.

There had to be  _ someone _ in this school that wouldn’t be put off by her inability to hold a normal conversation with strangers, someone who would be patient and let her get used to being around them enough for her to come out of her shell, someone who would want to talk about her interests with her--

“Ah, Futaba. I wasn’t expecting to run into you here.”

Futaba looked up from her half-eaten container of curry in surprise to find Yusuke walking down the outdoor pathway towards her table with his sketchbook in hand, looking completely unbothered by the curious whispers that followed him, as people clearly wondered who this older student--that was obviously from a different program than them, considering the visible ink smudges on his hands and all of the paint stains splattered across his shirt--was and why he was approaching this awkward, timid girl with such comfortable familiarity.

“I-Inari? Why are you-- wait, don’t you have class right now?” Futaba asked incredulously.

Yusuke waved a hand dismissively, pulling out a chair and taking a seat next to Futaba as he set his sketchbook down on the table and replied, “I finished my work with plenty of time to spare, and saw no need to remain indoors when there was much more inspiration to be found out here.”

“You just  _ walked out of class? _ ” Futaba asked, unable to help the cackle that slipped out as Yusuke nodded calmly in response, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to just get bored and leave the classroom whenever you want. “Jeez, Inari, just when I think there’s nothing left you can do to surprise me.”

Futaba slid her remaining curry over to Yusuke out of habit, and took his sketchbook in exchange so she could flip through it--both to make sure that he wouldn’t get distracted from eating some actual food (she could always have Sojiro or Akira cook her some more curry when she got home, so the lost meal wasn’t a big deal), and out of a genuine curiosity to see what else Yusuke had drawn since the last time they hung out.

Yusuke, for his part, displayed a clear level of trust in letting Futaba hold onto what was essentially his livelihood--not to mention how he wasn’t one to turn down a free meal, even if he hadn’t approached Futaba with the intention of getting food from her--and merely watched in between spoonfuls of curry as she  _ ooh _ ’d and  _ ahh _ ’d over each of his most recent works. She was obviously playing up her reactions, but Yusuke could see the genuine interest in the way her eyes roamed over each piece of artwork, taking in every last detail with a sharp, analytical gaze and occasionally asking him questions about the subject matter or the techniques that he used.

Even if she didn’t know much about art, it was nice to just talk freely about something that he loved with someone who could understand his passion--the only other person who indulged him so thoroughly was Akira, but Akira was…  _ different _ . He gave the same selfless consideration to all of his friends, whereas Futaba was very…  _ particular _ about who she interacted with and for how long, even within their friend group. Quite honestly, it was an honor knowing that he was one of a small, select few that Futaba felt comfortable being around for long periods of time, and felt comfortable engaging in active conversation with.

So of course, he extended the same courtesy to her as soon as she ran out of questions to ask him, and was immediately rewarded with Futaba going on about some sort of new game that she’d programmed recently. The jargon went over his head, of course, as he was sure much of his own artistic jargon went over hers--but the  _ passion _ , that was something he could wholeheartedly understand and appreciate.

Yusuke was used to the eyes of people on him, so he was completely unbothered by the intrusive gazes of nearby students staring at the two of them as they carried on with their conversation. Futaba, on the other hand, was most certainly  _ not _ accustomed to the feeling of NPCs staring at her and Yusuke in clear, stunned shock--but instead of feeling self-conscious, it made her feel… uplifted. Proud, even.

This was what a max-rank friendship with Futaba Sakura looked like. Maybe some of them would want to try getting past level one with her now that they saw she had more to offer the world than a few stammered, awkward words.

She knew it wouldn’t happen overnight, and that she would have to put in plenty of effort on her own end--maybe double, or even  _ triple _ the amount that a normal person would have to put in--but that was a quest for future Futaba to tackle. Tomorrow for sure, or maybe even later today if she felt brave enough to try.

For now, though, she was content to just let herself enjoy the familiar comfort that Yusuke and his maxed-out friendship were freely offering her.


	46. Necessity (Timeline #100, XX/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Akira is still an anxious disaster even after getting his happy ending ;_;

Akira knew, when he first realized that he’d completely rubbed the paint off of his phone strap to the point where it was almost completely unrecognizable, that adjusting to this new, limitless future was going to be far more of a challenge than he’d anticipated.

Considering how he’d been stressing himself out over it since before the time loop even ended, that was saying a lot.

Every day was a reminder that he had  _ no idea _ what to expect going forward: even with the copies of Makoto’s notes that she’d given him for his birthday (which had been a  _ godsend _ , especially considering how he ended up staying at Shujin for his third year instead of going back home), there were still differences in the subjects covered, and his heart leapt into his throat each and every time that the teachers called on him to answer a question.

He ended up getting the answers right, of course, but that was almost entirely due to anxiety making him cram every last scrap of information into his brain  _ just in case _ , and not because he had any real interest in what was being taught.

What’s worse was that school was actually the  _ easy _ part, even with all of that stress. At least he had a basic idea of what he was getting into--but the same couldn’t be said for his time spent outside of school.

Literally  _ anything _ could happen. He could go to work at whatever part-time job he felt like going to, he could hang out with his friends or his confidants or with Ryuji, he could wander around by himself and just enjoy not having the pressure of saving the world and breaking free of the time loop on his shoulders--but on the flip side, he could just as easily get ambushed and mugged, he could get hit by a car, he could get pushed in front of a train, he could get stabbed in a back alley somewhere and bleed out and die and end up back in April of 2016 and--

Akira tightly gripped the phone strap, taking shaky breaths as he tried to force himself to calm down.

At least he had this small charm to cling to, but as much as he didn’t want to admit it, it wasn’t doing as much to help lately as it used to. Which, he supposed, made sense: after all, Ryuji had given it to him with the intention of helping him remember what timeline he was in, but now that the time loop was over….

Well, there were still some days where he woke up disoriented, but that was--thankfully--becoming less and less of an issue the longer this brand new year went on for. After all, it was hard to feel confused about what year it was when  _ 2017 _ was the first thing he saw on his phone, as opposed to the  _ 2016 _ he’d grown so used to seeing--but if that wasn’t enough, constantly having unexpected happenings thrown at him left and right was a pretty quick way of straightening out the timeline issue.

Unfortunately, now he needed something to help settle his anxieties about the unknown future, rather than his anxieties about resetting or questioning what timeline he was in.

The engagement ring on his finger helped a bit with that, and of course having Ryuji himself around helped too, but… the ring was a promise of a future together with Ryuji, rather than something meant to soothe his fears about not knowing what to expect each and every day--and as much as he loved and appreciated being with Ryuji, Akira knew he couldn’t spend the rest of his life glued to Ryuji’s side, either. Ryuji had his own life, as did Akira himself, and he would feel beyond guilty if he made Ryuji feel like he  _ had to _ stay with him just because he couldn’t handle his trauma and paranoia on his own.

All he could do for now was take things one day (one hour, one minute) at a time, and just keep trying different things until he found something that would help him cope with his anxiety. He was good at exploring every possible option available to him, if nothing else, so he was sure he would find something that worked eventually.

He had to. Akira had spent far too long stuck in place--it was finally time for him to take steps towards moving forward with his life, no matter how slow or how small those steps may be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has a happy new year!! I know 2020 was a rough year (to say the absolute least) but here's hoping that 2021 will be a better year for us all <3 Thank you to everyone who read my fics and supported me throughout this year, I always appreciate every kind word and every little show of support from you all ;u; <333


	47. Forbidden (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, slapping Akira's back: this bad boy can hold so much trauma
> 
> I added warning tags for this chapter but just in case no one noticed the new tags, this is probably one of the darkest chapters in this collection whoops;;; The Velvet Room guillotines are used with not great results, and major character death happens because Yaldy is a sadistic jerk lol

Akira was so damn tired of playing by Yaldabaoth’s rules.

This game was stacked against him no matter what he did, anyway: the more times he reset, the more power Yaldabaoth gained; and the more power Yaldabaoth gained, the more he was able to influence reality--which in turn meant it became increasingly harder for him to even survive past Shido’s Palace, let alone make it to the end of the year to even  _ attempt _ to break free of the loop.

It was an unjust game from the very beginning, but now it was just pure, sadistic torture. There was no way to win, and Akira continuing to try was only making Yaldabaoth’s hold on him grow stronger--and of course, Yaldabaoth was using his stronger influence to try and pull Akira deeper into despair, by taking away the one person that Akira cared about above all else right in front of his eyes over and over again.

So if there was no way to win, then why not just try and act outside the bounds of the game’s rules?

He’d been  _ strongly discouraged _ from trying to bring Lavenza back before Yaldabaoth merged the Metaverse with reality, and his few half-hearted attempts had fallen through when he saw how much mental stress it put on the twins, trying to rush them to regain their memories.

Now, though? He was desperate, and exhausted, and fed up, and he needed to do  _ something _ .

“ **_I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Trickster,_ ** ” Yaldabaoth warned, wearing Igor’s face as always and grinning with that same knowing, irritating look in his eyes. “ **_It is not yet time for--_ ** ”

“I’m tired of playing along with your script,  _ Yaldabaoth _ ,” Akira hissed, paying no mind to Justine’s sharp intake of breath and Caroline’s indignant shouts as he broke free of his cell and grabbed one of each of their arms, pulling them towards the guillotines. “I’m going to take my  _ true attendant _ back, and I’m going to get you out of this place once and for all.”

“ **_You are making a mistake, Trickster,_ ** ” Yaldabaoth warned him again, though his words contrasted with the clear amusement in his gaze. “ **_There are certain events that are not meant to happen before their time._ ** ”

Akira ignored Yaldabaoth, keeping his focus on pulling the two young wardens over to the guillotines--and though his resolve briefly wavered as he heard the confused panic in both of their voices, he forced himself to keep his expression steady.

“Don’t worry. You’ll remember everything soon enough,” Akira said, forcing them into the guillotine and fastening the restraints tight enough that even they wouldn’t be able to break free.

It was a set of guillotines made to restrain powerful Personas, after all. It could easily hold two little girls in place, no matter how much strength those two girls held within them.

(Yet even the strength that they held was only half of what it should be, split between them and slowly diminishing the more times Yaldabaoth reset the timeline.)

“Inmate, stop this at once!”

“Inmate, what are you doing?! Do we look like Personas to you?! Let us out of here!!”

Akira avoided looking at either of them as he prepared to lower the blades.

“I’m sorry about this, but I just… I need Lavenza back, I--”

_ I can’t do this on my own, I need someone,  _ **_anyone_ ** _ on my side who actually  _ **_understands_ ** _ \-- _

Before they could say anything else, Akira dropped the blades, completely oblivious to Yaldabaoth’s darkening grin behind him as he waited for the flash of light and butterflies and--

With a dull  _ thud _ , two heads hit the ground, the bodies they belonged to going eerily still.

“... What…?”

Akira stared in blank shock at the sight before him.

There was no blood, which might have been why it took longer for what he was seeing to properly sink in--but once it did, a hand flew up to cover his mouth as he gagged, stumbling backwards and hardly even paying any mind as he lost his balance and hit the ground hard, his body shaking and his breathing coming in heavy, irregular gasps.

“N-- no, no, nonono, th-that’s not-- I didn’t mean to--”

“ **_I warned you, did I not?_ ** ” Yaldabaoth spoke up, his tone so airy and his smile so coldly sadistic that it slingshotted Akira’s mind from horrified grief straight into bloodthirsty fury. “ **_Forcing those two back together before their time is against the rules._ ** ”

With a shout, Akira scrambled up to his feet and threw himself at Yaldabaoth in a blind rage, only to choke in shock and pain as he was sent flying by a blast of dark energy, his head cracking against the stone walls of the Velvet Room.

“ **_Perhaps next time,_ ** ” Yaldabaoth continued calmly as Akira’s consciousness began to fade, the sheer amount of blue in the room standing in stark contrast to the steady pool of red gathering at Akira’s feet, “ **_you will not make such a foolish mistake._ ** ”

“ ** _My rules are absolute._** **_You cannot win this game, Trickster, and I will not tolerate cheating. Consider this your first and final warning._** ”

Akira wanted so badly to scream, to cry, to rage at the sheer  _ injustice _ of being trapped in a rigged game and being punished for trying to bend the rules--but all he could do as his body slumped down to the ground and the life drained from his eyes was breathe out a quiet, broken apology to the two young wardens, and pray that they wouldn’t remember this unintentional act of painful cruelty that he’d selfishly inflicted on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One small bit of kindness is that the twins don't remember and that Lavenza's memories only carry over from the times she was properly reformed, so she doesn't remember any of this, even if Akira does ;_;


	48. Secrecy (Timeline #4, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early timeline fic because I love breaking my own heart

Akira was no stranger to keeping secrets. After all, as the leader of the Phantom Thieves with a criminal record, just a single word said to the wrong person could get himself thrown in jail and his teammates in serious trouble.

That was the thing, though: he was used to his teammates being in on the secrets. He wasn’t used to having to keep secrets from  _ them _ , too.

Yet what other choice did he have? He’d tried to tell Ryuji about the time loop in the last year, and all he got in return was the image of Ryuji looking at him like he was crazy seared into his mind, along with the knowledge that Ryuji had ended up in Kamoshida’s Palace all by himself and had died at Shadow Kamoshida’s hand.

He wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. Not if it meant putting his friends’ lives at risk.

(Not if it meant having to see the person he loved above all else looking at him like  _ that _ .)

So if it meant having to keep secrets from his friends, in order to keep them safe, then he would do it. He would go through this entire year pretending that he was experiencing everything for the very first time, and acting just as he did in the first year down to the letter if it meant keeping everyone alive and breaking free of this loop once and for all.


	49. Confined (Timeline #19(?), ??/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira's not having a good time ;_; This is probably around when Akira's mental state really starts to take a sharp decline rip;;

This wasn’t right.

Akira was, unfortunately, more or less used to his period of solitary confinement by now. This was the… fifth time? Or maybe it was the sixth time that he’d made it this far in the year, far enough to defeat Yaldabaoth yet again--and far enough to allow Sae to bring him to the police station yet again, so he could turn himself in to protect his friends.

This wasn’t anything new. What  _ was _ new, however, was the unsettling feeling that time was dragging on for longer than it should have.

Did his confinement always feel this long?

How… how many days was he here for, now? How many months? Was it really not February yet?

“What--” Akira’s voice was hoarse from lack of use, but the second a guard showed up to bring him his meal, he forced himself to speak if only to try and shake off the dread that was slowly creeping up on him, “what’s today’s date?”

“Huh? What’s that matter to you?” the guard asked with a scoff.

“I have to know,  _ please _ .”

The guard let out a huff, and Akira couldn’t tell whether it was out of amusement or annoyance. Maybe both.

“March 6. Happy?”

Akira paled, and he hardly even realized when his legs gave out from under him, a nervous laugh slipping out as he pressed his hands against the door.

“That’s-- th-this has to be some sort of mistake. I’m not supposed to be-- I should already be-- h-hasn’t anyone… come for me?”

The guard let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, good luck with that, kid. No one’s ever coming for someone like you.”

The words struck Akira like a physical blow, and he scrambled backwards, his body shaking.

That… that couldn’t be right, his friends  _ always _ came for him, they--

They were probably just… having a bit more trouble than usual tracking down the woman from the case against Shido, that’s all. They didn’t always manage to get him out on the same exact day each time, so that’s all this was. It had to be.

Granted, his bonds with his friends weren’t as strong this time as they used to be, but that didn’t mean that they would just…  _ abandon _ him, right?

Right…?

Akira pulled his knees up to his chest, his wide-eyed, vacant gaze locked on the metal door separating him from the freedom that should have already come--a door that suddenly felt so much more imposing, trapping him in a room that felt smaller and more stifling than usual.

They would help him. They would get him out of this place. They always did, and this time would be no different.

Sae would be here any minute to let the guards know that he was free to go. Any minute now, any second now, he just had to hold on for a little longer, a little longer, a little longer,

a little longer

a little longer

a little longer

a little longer

a little longer

a little longer--

* * *

But in the end, nobody came.


	50. Darkness (Timeline #100, XX/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter, slightly melancholic one this time :(

For as much as darkness was the strongest attribute of his true inner self--of Arsène and Satanael, who both wielded the most powerful of curse skills with ease--Akira couldn’t say that he was all too big of a fan of the dark. He wasn’t  _ afraid _ of the dark, and it certainly didn’t hold as much trauma for him as certain other triggers ( _ too much change, too much repetition, too much silence, unexpected loud noises _ ), but it still came with the general feeling of loneliness and despair that Akira was trying so desperately to avoid now that the time loop was over.

On particularly bad nights, Akira kept his phone plugged in and changed the settings so it wouldn’t go to sleep, leaving a small light illuminating his room that--hopefully--didn’t disturb Morgana too much. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was certainly better than spending the entire night staring up at his ceiling, trying to push aside anxious thoughts about the unknown future ahead of him, which looked even darker and more intimidating than the shadows crawling along the walls.

He knew the nerve-wracking feelings would pass eventually, and that he would one day be able to have a full night’s sleep even without Ryuji by his side, with the bright light of his love and his optimistic confidence to chase away the darkness. Until then, he just had to do his best to endure and make do in whatever way he could, if it meant finally taking one small step to regain control of his life and his mind all on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50 prompts down, 50 more to go lol


	51. Color (Timeline #100, XX/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short, sweet drabble to make up for the last few depressing ones lol

While Akira had always preferred black and red as his favorite colors, he could easily say that he held the strongest feelings towards the color yellow--first positive, back in the very first timeline, then negative in all the timelines that followed, as the color brought back all of the bittersweet feelings of unrequited adoration that he held towards the one person who would never return his affections.

And then--of course--he went right back to loving the color yellow in the hundredth timeline, as he associated it with all of the new memories and all the love that he received from Ryuji.

It was such a bright color, so vibrant and full of  _ life _ just like Ryuji himself, and it never failed to lift Akira’s heart and make him smile when he so much as caught sight of a hint of it. Gradually, Akira found himself decorating his room with little bits of yellow over the course of the year--nothing too overwhelming, just a few decorations here and there to give the dreary attic a small splash of color, and though it wasn’t to the same extent as when he was with Ryuji himself, it still filled Akira with a swell of happiness whenever his eyes came to rest on the tiny bits of sunshine lighting up the dull darkness of his room.

Akira wasn’t entirely sure if Ryuji noticed his affinity towards the color, though judging by Ryuji leaving his yellow “ _ ZOMG _ ” t-shirt in the LeBlanc attic and never asking for it back despite seeing Akira wearing it on more than one occasion (or perhaps because he’d seen how happy Akira was while wearing the shirt), he had a feeling that Ryuji had caught on and was just as willing to indulge in this silly little preference of his as he was willing to indulge Akira in everything else in their relationship.


	52. Classroom (Timeline #100, 05/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira 100% only went to university because Ryuji was going lmao, he has no interest or need to go between already teaching himself everything he wanted to learn, and already having plans to inherit LeBlanc and work there for the rest of his life which he wouldn't need a degree for lol

If Akira thought that adjusting to being a third year high school student was bad, then there were no words to describe what having to adjust to being a first year university student was like.

Everything was just so  _ different _ from high school: the classrooms were  _ huge _ , there were so many people of all different ages, the teachers were much more hands-off, the assignments were all more complicated than what he’d braced himself for… it was like a completely different world compared to what he’d grown used to over the past hundred years, even after attending university classes for a few weeks now.

Which, of course, wasn’t exactly doing wonders for his anxiety--but he knew he had to start standing on his own two feet instead of relying on Ryuji for comfort and stability, so he forced himself to do as he did every day to survive: he channeled what little scraps of Joker that he could pull together, and kept an air of nonchalant confidence that he was nowhere near actually feeling as he walked into his first lesson of the day, while reminding himself that if he could shoot a god in the face (multiple times, even) and escape a rigged time loop, then he could survive sitting in an auditorium-like classroom for an hour and a half while listening to some adult rambling about a subject that he’d already long since taught himself.


	53. Kabedon (Timeline #100, XX/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first thought upon seeing this prompt: This is silly, who would actually kabedon someone and call it a kabedon  
> My next thought upon remembering how much of a cliche sap Akira is and how much Ryuji enjoys flustering him: Ah, right

Even before the end of the time loop, Ryuji had caught on to Akira’s weakness for romantic cliches--seriously, it was like Akira had walked right out of a shoujo manga with how easily he fell for every trope in the book. Hell, sometimes he would even  _ swoon _ , and Ryuji hadn’t even thought that was a real thing that people  _ did _ until he met Akira and saw the effect that he had on him.

Not that Ryuji was complaining, of course. It was flattering and kind of cute, really, how flustered Akira would always get whenever Ryuji was affectionate with him.

(It was also bittersweet, every time he remembered  _ why _ Akira was affected so strongly by Ryuji’s affectionate actions and romantic cliches, but Ryuji tried not to dwell on the thought for too long, especially once Akira had safely made it past the end of the time loop once and for all.)

The rest of the team was just as quick to pick up on Akira’s weakness as Ryuji had been, once they were aware of their relationship, and they--Ryuji included--had made it into a little game, to see just how many romantic tropes Akira would actually fall for if Ryuji was the one doing them, no matter how silly the tropes in question were.

Ryuji had checked a good number of them off the list on Valentine’s Day, which--while embarrassing--had been well-worth it as he saw how over the moon Akira was in response. He’d also done a lot of them here and there over the course of the past year (unintentionally, but they still counted as far as he was concerned, since he’d gotten a reaction out of Akira each time), but there was one that he’d never actually tried that he was admittedly curious to see Akira’s reaction to.

So it went without saying that as soon as the opportunity presented itself, Ryuji took it without hesitation, his own embarrassment be damned. Making Akira blush was way too much fun to hold himself back, and by now he was (mostly) used to being more forward with Akira in public, so he didn’t care who saw him or what they might think.

All that mattered was seeing Akira’s reaction as Ryuji cornered him on the first floor at school, his hand moving just past Akira’s head to balance himself as he trapped Akira between his chest and the lockers behind him.

As expected, Akira’s face immediately exploded with color from the unexpected action, his eyes wide as he looked to Ryuji in silent, flustered confusion--and when Ryuji responded with the slightest hint of a smirk, he was rewarded with Akira immediately letting out a startled squeak and hiding his flushed face in his hands.

Ryuji couldn’t help it: his lips twitched upward from his smirk into a smile as he broke out into laughter, his shoulders shaking with mirth and his body leaning forward so he could rest his forehead against Akira’s affectionately.

“You,” he began, moving just enough so he could reach out and gently pull Akira’s hands away from his face before pressing a quick kiss to his lips, “are too cute, I swear.”

Even though Akira’s face was still bright red, there was no denying the affectionate joy lighting up his gaze from Ryuji’s proximity alone, his lips quickly curving upward into a flustered smile as he cleared the miniscule distance between them and pressed another, longer kiss to Ryuji’s lips.

As Ryuji dropped his arms to wrap around Akira, kissing back without sparing even a single thought for the fact that they were still in public, he could already picture Futaba’s gleeful cackling and teasing commentary as she marked off another item on the list of romantic tropes that Akira had successfully fallen for.


	54. Practice (Timeline #54(?), ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short past timeline drabble, this time set around the middle-ish of the loop, by which point he's pretty much already given up without outright surrendering to Yaldabaoth ;_;

By the time about half a century passed, Akira had already grown numb to the thought of being stuck in this never-ending loop of suffering and despair for the rest of eternity. He’d tried everything that he could possibly think of and more, and yet each and every option that he explored ended either in him resetting at the end of the year at best, or reaching some sort of painful ending before he could even make it all the way to March, be it by his own hand or by the hands of others.

So what else was there to do at this point but continue experimenting? Not necessarily for the sake of breaking free--because he knew by now that such a thought was an impossible fantasy--but rather, just so he could do something to kill some time and stave off the boredom that was eating away at what was left of his mind and soul.

He had plenty of time to practice old skills and learn brand new ones, both useful and mundane, as he dragged himself through this farce of a life one repetitive day after another. After all, if he couldn’t change anything about his fate, then at least he could regain control of one small aspect of his life by developing new skill sets and honing them to the best of his abilities.

Pathetic as it probably was, it was also the only way to keep himself from surrendering to the insanity and grief that threatened to drag him under each and every day--and in the end, that’s all that he could hope for anymore.


	55. Stage (Timeline #100, 05/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place during my P5D fic, [Dancing Through Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22716706)!

Dancing on stage was more enjoyable than Akira could have ever anticipated.

Granted, that probably had more to do with who he was dancing with rather than where he was or what he was doing, but his point still stood: Akira was having the time of his life, and  _ man _ did it feel good to just smile and laugh and have fun for as long as he wanted, with nothing at stake save for a silly little dance contest. Honestly, he didn’t care about winning or losing at all, not when he was already enjoying the prize of seeing the people that he loved all having a good time together.

Getting to see his friends dancing in front of an audience was just as much of a treat as seeing them playing around on the practice stage, spending equal amounts of time both going over their routines and just messing around to the tune of whatever songs they felt like putting on. Though he would often stand aside while they gathered in a group--merely observing everyone without getting involved as he’d grown accustomed to doing over the course of so many decades--Ryuji always seemed to realize what he was unconsciously doing before Akira himself even became aware that he was doing it, and would find his way over to him as he always did in order to pull him out of his head and back to their shared, perfect reality.

Not that Akira was complaining, of course.

He treasured each and every moment that Ryuji reached out to him, relishing the feeling of their hands clasped together and their matching rings glistening under the lighting of Club Velvet as his fiance guided him onto the practice stage to join in on the fun.


	56. Outfit (Timeline #100, 05/07/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place a little bit before prompt #23 (Anniversary)! I unintentionally ended up making Ann the first person that the two disaster gays, Akira and Ryuji, constantly turn to for help lol but I think it fits, given the close friendship that they have with each other ;u;

“You two would be hopeless without me, you know that?”

Ryuji let out a long sigh that was only partially exasperated as he followed Ann around the underground mall, reluctantly nodding in agreement. “Yeah, yeah, I know. We bow to you, Oh Wise and Benevolent One.”

Ann turned just enough to give Ryuji’s arm a light smack, her smile not dimming in the slightest despite the anger that she tried to fake--and it was a small, amusing comfort to know that despite all the years that passed, Ann’s acting skills were just as bad as they’d always been.

“If you’re going to be sarcastic, then maybe I should just take back my offer to help.”

Joking or not, Ryuji wasn’t about to let her do that. He knew he was hopeless when it came to fashion, and he also knew that Akira loved to see him all dressed up--which, unfortunately, was not a good combination, especially not when Ryuji wanted to go all-out for their upcoming wedding anniversary.

So Ryuji did as any good husband would, and sucked up just enough of his pride to say, “Alright, alright, sorry. Seriously, I need your help; I don’t even know where to start with all of this clothes shopping stuff, and our anniversary’s a few days away!”

Ann laughed. “I was just teasing, you know. If you’re apologizing to me that quickly, though, then you  _ must _ be desperate.” Though there was still amusement shining in her gaze, her smile softened the slightest bit as she added, “Just leave it to me, okay? I’ll find you an outfit that’ll make Akira’s mouth drop, I promise.”

“Knowing you? I have no doubts,” Ryuji replied, cracking a small smile of his own. “Thanks, Ann.”

“Anytime!” Ann grinned, grabbing Ryuji’s arm and tugging him along into one of the stores. “Oh, I think this place had a few outfits that Akira had his eye on for you the last time we came; let’s start here!”

Knowing how often Akira and Ann went out shopping together, and how often Akira looked at things with him in mind, Ryuji could already tell that he was in for a long,  _ long _ day--but even just imagining Akira’s incredulously delighted expression when he saw Ryuji dressed up for their anniversary would make it all worth it in the end.


	57. Beginning (Timeline #4, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now back to our regularly scheduled angst, featuring early-timeline Akira lol

Though this was technically the fourth time he was waking up on April eleventh, Akira considered it to be the official start--and optimistically, the end--of this loop that he was apparently stuck in.

The last two times… well, he really doubted that not even making it past the first day could really count for anything. Personally, he’d rather pretend that neither of those times even happened, no matter how badly they’d been burned into his memory as a warning.

He was alone, and he couldn’t tell anyone about the year resetting. He’d learned the hard way what would happen if he tried to think otherwise.

So he treated this as his very first attempt at re-living this entire year, and poured all of his focus into following in his old footsteps as best as he could possibly remember. Every last move, every last person he spoke with… he did everything the same as the first year, save for one factor:

He never dated Ryuji.

How could he, when Ryuji had confessed to him that he’d fallen for Ann and not him?

It was beyond devastating, and left his heart shattered, but… it was okay. So long as Akira could defeat Yaldabaoth again and move past this year, everything would be okay. He would just pull himself together and try his best to move on, because he loved Ryuji too much to ever want to take his happiness from him in any way, even if it meant Akira taking his own feelings with him to the grave.

However, when Akira reached the end of the year, only to wake up back on April eleventh once more… he came to a chilling, sickening realization:

This living hell that he was trapped in was only just beginning.


	58. Heartbeat (Timeline #100, 11/19/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even after the end of the time loop, I still don't give poor Akira a break lol
> 
> ~~Not sure if anyone's actually following the list that I linked in the first chapter, but just in case there's any confusion: I switched some of the prompts around because I realized my posting schedule falls on Yusuke's birthday and I actually happened to have a fic written out that takes place on his birthday, so I just shuffled the order of the prompts so I would be able to post that specific chapter for his birthday lol~~

Apparently, escaping the time loop didn’t mean Akira was free from the trauma that the endlessly repeating year had inflicted on him.

He honestly believed that he would be fine, because  _ nothing was wrong _ : he was safe, Ryuji was safe, all of their friends and loved ones were safe… he was living a  _ normal _ life now, going to school and working at LeBlanc with Sojiro and spending time with all the people he cared about. There was no reason for this time of year to affect him anymore, not when there was no high-stakes Palace infiltration to worry about, no one plotting to betray and murder him, no police to drag him to an underground interrogation room and--

And why was he shaking all of a sudden? Just because the interrogation always happened on or around November twentieth, and just because it was close to November twentieth  _ now _ , that didn’t mean that he was in any sort of danger. He was fine, he was  _ fine _ \--

Focus, he just had to focus.

He was in class, at Shujin, as a third year student. He couldn’t be further from his position last year if he tried. Last year at this time, he was--well, last year this time he was hiding away in LeBlanc since the interrogation happened a whole month ahead of schedule, but all the timelines before that (or at least, the ones where he made it this far into the year to begin with) he was busy preparing for the final infiltration of Sae’s Palace on this day, while going over the finer details of their plan one last time to make sure nothing was out of place.

Something that he did less and less often over the course of the repeats, because he just didn’t  _ care _ enough to worry, but now that he finally had something to live for… the thought of dying and losing all of this  _ terrified _ him, more than anything else in the world.

That shouldn’t be something he had to worry about though, right? All of the Metaverse-related dangers were finally  _ over _ (or at least, Akira hoped--this past summer hadn’t exactly done much to put his mind at ease about that particular fear), and there wasn’t anything else that was an immediate danger to him,  _ especially _ not while he was sitting in a classroom of all places. This was  _ completely different _ from all of the other November nineteenths that he’d lived through.

He was being ridiculous. Why couldn’t he just  _ calm down? _ Why was this happening to him  _ now? _ He was  _ fine _ , literally nothing had happened beyond him just remembering what today’s date was.

There was no logical reason for him to feel anxious, no reason for his heart to be thrumming in his ears, no reason for his vision to be blurring, no reason for his lungs to feel like they were getting too much air and not enough all at the same time--

He was fine. He was fine.  _ He was fine _ .  _ He w _ \--

There was a sudden, loud sound--someone dropping a book, as he later discovered, though all he could hear at the moment was the sharp noise in the otherwise quiet room--and Akira let out a choked gasp in response, the sound immediately tipping him over the precarious edge that he’d been trying so hard to cling to.

He wasn’t fine he wasn’t finehewasn’tfine _ hewasn’tfine _ \--

Before he could so much as attempt to reach out, for his fingers to scramble for purchase in the back of Ryuji’s uniform jacket to signal for help through his panic, Ann was already helping him out of his seat and saying something to their teacher while passing him off to Ryuji, who lead him out of the classroom and up to the rooftop without question, supporting the bulk of his weight and murmuring words that didn’t quite translate into anything coherent in Akira’s frenzied mind.

It didn’t matter if he couldn’t figure out what Ryuji was saying, though. Just hearing Ryuji’s voice was enough: it was familiar, and comforting, and it was  _ something _ to try and latch onto to ground himself with.

As soon as they reached the rooftop, Ryuji closed the door behind them and gently eased both himself and Akira down so they were sitting with their backs against the door, preventing anyone from coming up and interrupting them. Akira followed without complaint, allowing Ryuji to guide his shaking body until his head was resting against Ryuji’s chest, with Ryuji’s arm wrapped around him while his other hand ran through Akira’s hair.

Even through his panic, the steady thrum of Ryuji’s heartbeat reached his ears, the sound soothing him even more than Ryuji’s voice had as his eyes gradually began to drift closed. He felt Ryuji’s chest slowly rising and falling under his head, and his own breathing unconsciously began to slow down in response to match it, until he finally began to feel like he wasn’t seconds away from passing out or having a heart attack.

Akira weakly moved his arms around Ryuji’s waist in a loose hug, and he felt more than heard the relieved sigh that Ryuji let out in response, even as he continued to run his fingers through Akira’s hair.

“Feeling better?” Ryuji asked softly.

Akira gave a tentative nod against Ryuji’s chest, before murmuring a quiet apology--one that Ryuji was apparently having no part of, since he immediately gave Akira a light tap on the head in response.

“No apologizing. I love you, so of course I’m gonna help you out if you’re panicking; you know that.”

Akira nodded again, this time with the corners of his lips curved upwards in the barest hint of a smile as he pressed himself a bit closer to Ryuji.

Even now, a full year later, it still made Akira’s heart soar to hear how freely Ryuji could say those words to him.

Apparently sensing the upturn in Akira’s mood, Ryuji pressed a kiss to the top of his head and trailed his hand down from Akira’s hair to Akira’s back, pulling him closer in a proper hug as he asked, “Are you feeling up to talking about it, or…?”

Akira hesitated for a moment, his small smile immediately dying down, before finally murmuring, “It’s stupid. I don’t even know what came over me, I just….”

Ryuji frowned as Akira trailed off into silence, wracking his brain for what could have set Akira off--before finally remembering something that Akira had hinted at offhand to him once before, last year.

“Wait… oh crap, I completely forgot, isn’t this usually around when-- shit, I was so focused on your birthday coming up tomorrow, I didn’t even think, I’m sorry--”

Akira shook his head and pressed himself closer to Ryuji, trying to continue focusing on Ryuji’s heartbeat and breathing to keep calm.

“It’s-- it’s fine. It’s not your fault.” Wryly, he added, “I can’t expect you to remember something from timelines that you never even lived through. The… interrogation didn’t even happen in November this time; you have no reason to associate this month with anything other than my birthday.” He let out a quiet, weak laugh. “I just wish I could do the same.”

“You will. I swear, Akira, you  _ will _ .”

Ryuji’s hug was so tight it was almost painful, but Akira welcomed the feeling. Being in Ryuji’s arms was  _ safe _ , and Akira wanted nothing more than to be as close as physically possible to him right now, until all of his thoughts and fears and traumatic memories faded into nothing.

“Akira,” Ryuji continued, his voice thick with restrained emotion, “I swear I’m gonna make sure you have the happiest birthday this year, and next year, and the year after that, and the year after  _ that _ , ‘til all you can remember around this time is all the happy memories we made together.”

If it was anyone else telling him something like that, Akira would have brushed them off--after all, how could a few birthday celebrations ever outweigh the trauma of being physically tortured and  _ killed _ around the same day for decades upon decades?

Yet when Ryuji said it… Akira found himself truly believing that there was a chance for him to grow past this, until one day he could look at the days leading up to his birthday with excitement instead of anxious dread.

“I know you will,” Akira replied softly, shifting just enough in Ryuji’s hold for him to lean up and press a gentle kiss to Ryuji’s lips before pulling back to meet his gaze with a small, affectionate smile. “If anyone can do the impossible, it’s you. Always and forever.”

Ryuji blushed lightly--yet despite his clear embarrassment, a grin quickly spread across his face as he pulled Akira into another, longer kiss that Akira was more than happy to melt into, now that his panic had faded away.

Akira knew that he still had a long,  _ long _ road ahead of him before he could so much as begin to consider himself recovered, but so long as he had Ryuji by his side supporting him and looking out for him, he knew that he would be able to make it through this.


	59. Seasons (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short, melancholy one from the past timelines ;_;

The passage of seasons, like everything else, began to turn into one long blur the more times Akira repeated this endless year.

There were no good memories left to associate with each season, not when everything was outweighed by all the suffering that he had to endure: spring marked the beginning of each and every loop, fall was filled with compounding memories of police brutality and gunshots to the forehead, and winter carried with it the grief of watching Ryuji die repeatedly and--the few times when Ryuji escaped with his life intact, either from the earlier loops where Yaldabaoth’s influence wasn’t as strong or from the times when Akira managed to make it through the year without getting Ryuji involved at all--the helpless despair of either losing his friends to Yaldabaoth’s influence as they disappeared from the public’s cognition, or remaining trapped in solitary confinement if they actually made it past Yaldabaoth.

Honestly, the only season that wasn’t directly associated with anything bad, comparatively speaking, was summer--not that he was in a proper mental state to enjoy the small reprieve, not anymore at least.

Besides, it always passed so quickly with how busy he kept himself, trying everything in his power to find a way to free himself--and later, just trying to find ways to remain  _ sane _ \--so even if he wanted to try and let himself enjoy it, he doubted he’d ever find the time.

Funny, how someone stuck in an endless loop could worry about not finding time to enjoy himself. Funny how he could feel like time was always just flying by, how he could just  _ blink _ and find himself already at the end of another wasted year.

Not that it mattered, anymore. He didn’t have the energy to care about anything more than trying to cling to what little scraps of sanity that he could find, as he let himself get swept away in the flow of one season to the next, over and over again.


	60. Confession (Timeline #100, 01/28/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Yusuke!! (I say this as I post a Futaba PoV chapter lol;;)
> 
> I mentioned it before, but I had this prompt written before I took a look at my posting schedule and realized that it falls on Yusuke's birthday, so I shuffled some stuff around (this fic was actually originally prompt #94 on the list, so it wouldn't have been uploaded until like April if I'd gone in order lol;;) that way I could post the fic that takes place on Yusuke's birthday in time for Yusuke's birthday <3
> 
> ~~Also I am ridiculously bad at coming up with chat names but I felt like Futaba would be the type to make sure everyone has a silly name in their chats so I had to come up with something aslkdj~~

Working up the courage to confess your feelings to someone was, unfortunately, a million times more difficult than anime and video games made it seem.

There were no flags to let you know you were at the right level for your confession to be accepted, no background music to signal that the timing and the mood were right… and what’s worse was how Futaba’s friends and her brother were all  _ absolutely no help! _ She didn’t even have any real-life examples to go off of, because none of them had gotten together normally!

Ann and Shiho were the closest to “normal”, and they hadn’t even needed to confess to one another to begin with: they were already so close with one another that their feelings for each other were so  _ obvious _ , which made it that much easier for them to jump straight into dating, even if it was just long distance at first.

Makoto and Haru--the two that Futaba should have been able to look up to, as the oldest members of their group (save for Akira, who was a special case)--had apparently gotten together during the dancing competition in Club Velvet last year, which was  _ completely unfair _ since they had background music and a stage for just the two of them and it was all so  _ romantic _ and (pretty much literally) magical that there was  _ no way _ Futaba could use that as a base of reference.

And then, of course, there was Akira and Ryuji, whose relationship went  _ way _ past what words could ever describe: from the way that they first got together, to the way they still interacted now, it was all so far beyond what any normal person could ever attain that even calling them  _ soulmates _ wasn’t enough to express just how deeply connected the two of them were. Trying to match her potential confession up against Akira’s to Ryuji, or even Ryuji’s to Akira, would be like comparing a post-game weapon to a weapon from the beginning of the game--they’re just on two completely different levels.

Not because there was anything inherently wrong with either one, of course: after all, everyone had to start somewhere, and beginners needed beginner-level weapons in order to get through the first part of the game, otherwise they’d never be able to move forward. It was just that there was so much more  _ involved _ in order to reach the ending of the game to begin with, all so you could obtain that special, one-of-a-kind weapon and breeze through your new game plus file.

Akira had fought, and struggled, and  _ earned _ that happy ending with Ryuji. She would never-- _ could _ never--insult everything he went through by trying to put her own experiences on the same level as his.

“You really shouldn’t think about it like that,” Akira said, when she finally worked up the courage to sit with her brother and talk to him about her dilemma. “I know it helps to have other people’s experiences to go off of, but… you can’t compare yourself and your feelings to other people. You’re not them, and they’re not you.”

He smiled as he added, “I’d never consider it an insult if you tried to find something from my experiences to relate to--honestly, I’d be  _ happy _ if you did. I want you--and all of our friends--to learn from everything I’ve been through, the good and the bad, and I want you to never hesitate to ask questions if there’s anything you want to know.”

Needless to say, once she had explicit permission, Futaba ended up asking a  _ lot _ of questions.

What was it like to confess your feelings? To be confessed to? What’s the best way to go about doing it? How do you tell whether the person is even interested in you to begin with? What do you do after you confess? How long does it take for a reply? What happens if they reject you? What happens if they  _ accept?? _

Futaba knew she was overthinking things, she  _ knew _ her brain was running circles around something that really shouldn’t have been as complicated as she was making it, but Akira--with the patience of a saint--sat and talked her through each and every question and concern that she had, even going so far as to discuss bits and pieces that he could remember from previous timelines to give her a better idea of what to expect as far as Yusuke reacting to a confession.

“You need to be straightforward with him,” Akira advised her. “Which I know is easier said than done, but… well, you know how he is: he struggles with understanding all this romantic stuff, so he might not really get it unless you spell it out for him. Honestly, though, you have nothing to worry about--I’ve seen how he looks at you, and how he gravitates towards you all the time. I have no doubts that he’ll reciprocate within minutes, at the most, after you talk to him. He’s not the type to wait too long once his mind is set on something.”

While it was a bit embarrassing to hear her brother being so blunt with her about her and--potentially--Yusuke’s feelings for one another, it was also reassuring, hearing him speak so calmly and so self-assuredly.

Akira only ever spoke with this much confidence when he was one-hundred percent positive about something, which was less and less often the further they moved away from 2016. For him to be speaking like this now meant that there was no doubt in his mind whatsoever about all of this, which in turn helped put her own mind at ease, at least somewhat.

Futaba could only hope to channel a small fraction of Akira’s confidence as she waited for Yusuke to arrive at LeBlanc, clenching and wringing her hands nervously on her lap with a birthday present for Yusuke sitting next to her in the booth. She unfortunately couldn’t take credit for the idea of meeting up one-on-one like this on Yusuke’s birthday: it had been Akira’s suggestion, once she brought up the question of when to time her confession if she wanted to at least  _ attempt _ to make it romantic, and the two had settled on her working up the nerve to confess on Yusuke’s birthday--and though the second option was Valentine’s Day, which would be a little over two weeks after today, Futaba knew that the longer she put this off for, the more likely she would be to chicken out.

Better to just rip the bandaid off, or strike while the iron’s hot, or whatever other random sayings people used to express that she needed to do this  _ right now _ before her brain convinced her that this was a terrible idea.

The sound of a bell jingling yanked Futaba out of her thoughts, causing her to jump slightly and let out a startled yelp before realizing that it was just Yusuke, entering the cafe with his sketchbook in hand--which helped her relax for all of two seconds until she remembered why Yusuke was here, at which point her brain slingshotted right back into panic mode because  _ Yusuke was here _ and  _ she wasn’t ready _ and  _ she couldn’t do this _ and--

“Futaba?”

Futaba stifled another startled noise--not that it helped much, since the yelp came out as an embarrassing squeak instead, making her already-flustered state even worse--and looked over at Yusuke, who was staring over at her in a mixture of confusion and concern.

“O-oh, uh-- h-hey Inari!” Futaba did her best to greet Yusuke as normally as possible, if “normal” meant nearly stumbling out of the booth as she rushed to stand up while avoiding looking directly at him.

Yusuke, in his usual show of obliviousness that was sometimes infuriating and sometimes--like now--a huge relief, merely returned her fumbled greeting with a nod before glancing around curiously.

“You’re here by yourself?”

“Ah, w-well, um… da--uh,  _ Sojiro _ stepped out for a bit, for… a smoke? And Akira’s, um, busy with stuff and… stuff.”

Smooth, Futaba. Perfectly delivered. A+ performance. She could give Ann a run for her money with her incredible acting.

Truthfully, Sojiro had closed up shop early for Futaba, who had only flipped the sign back to “Open” when she saw on the security camera feed on her phone that Yusuke was a few minutes away from LeBlanc. Getting Sojiro to agree to let her use LeBlanc as the location for her probably-not-so-romantic-but-she-was-trying-dammit-and-that’s-what-counts confession unfortunately involved actually  _ telling _ Sojiro what she wanted to use the cafe for, though--but again, this had been another brilliant idea of Akira’s (and she meant that 90% sincerely and 10% sarcastically), since being in a familiar setting would most likely help take the edge off of the anxiety that she would undoubtedly end up feeling while trying to talk about her feelings with the person she had feelings towards.

Akira’s logic was sound, and most likely grounded in his own experiences--after all, though Akira’s confession hadn’t exactly been planned or happened in a familiar place, Akira in general tended to gravitate towards the places (or the people) he was most comfortable and familiar with whenever he was feeling anxious, and Futaba could admit that she did the same, even if it was an unconscious action on her part.

That still didn’t change the fact that she had to sit down with her dad and confess to him that she wanted to confess her feelings to Yusuke, though. Futaba was pretty sure that if hell existed, having to listen to your adoptive father being embarrassingly supportive while also threatening to give your friend-who-might-possibly-become-your-boyfriend the shovel talk if he stepped out of line was undoubtedly at least a small, Futaba-sized circle within those fiery depths, if not an entire level of hell all on its own.

(And of course, Akira--the cheeky little brat of an older brother that he was--had to poke his head into the room to add his own two cents in, letting Sojiro know that he’d get two shovels ready and had an ex-yakuza on speed-dial to deal with the body.)

Still, embarrassment aside, she genuinely  _ was _ grateful to the two of them for being so supportive and helping her set this up. Sojiro had even gone the extra mile and prepared a pot of curry for them that she just had to warm up, and Akira had showed her how to make the blend of coffee that Yusuke preferred--which she hastily rushed behind the counter to do after turning on the stovetop burner under the curry, a light blush heating up her face as Yusuke took a seat at the bar and watched her.

“I didn’t realize you knew how to made coffee,” Yusuke remarked, with a mixture of curiosity and admiration in his tone.

Futaba smiled weakly and shrugged, doing everything in her power to keep her gaze on the coffee infuser so she wouldn’t get distracted. “Well, I’m not as good as Sojiro or Akira, but… I’m a quick learner.”

Yusuke hummed lightly and nodded his agreement, before opening his sketchbook and pulling a pencil out of his pocket--and like magic, the familiar sound of a pencil scratching across paper combined with the familiar scents of coffee and curry in the air eased the tension from Futaba’s body, bringing a more genuine smile to her face.

She had to give credit where credit was due: Akira had been completely on the money with this one. There was no way she would be anywhere  _ near _ this calm if she’d met up with Yusuke anywhere else to talk with him.

Even if she still hadn’t gotten to the actual  _ talking _ part yet.

The thought briefly caused her heart to shoot up into her throat, but she just as quickly forced the anxiety back down, reminding herself that there was no rush. It would be easier to have a conversation like that on a full stomach anyway, right? And plus, she hadn’t even given Yusuke his birthday present yet.

Actually, now that she thought about it… wasn’t it kind of weird that Yusuke hadn’t made any mention of birthday plans today? It would be flattering if he’d turned other people down in favor of spending today with her, but knowing Yusuke….

“Hey, Inari.” Futaba broke the silence between them as she finally looked over at Yusuke, who briefly glanced up from his sketchbook to look at her in response. “You, uh…  _ do _ know what day it is today, right?”

Yusuke’s brows furrowed in confusion. “I believe it’s… Sunday, if I’m not mistaken?”

Futaba couldn’t help but laugh, even as she shook her head in exasperation. “You’re hopeless, Inari, I swear. What kind of person forgets their own  _ birthday? _ ”

“My--oh.” Yusuke pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked down at the date thoughtfully. “Huh. So it is.”

“Honestly, it’s a miracle that natural selection hasn’t picked you off yet, with how spaced-out you are,” Futaba replied dryly, before waving him off in the direction of the booth that she’d been sitting at earlier. “The curry’s all warmed up and the coffee’s almost done, so c’mon, go open your present! It’s from me and Akira!”

“You didn’t have to--”

“We  _ wanted _ to, now go open it up before Akira gets it in his head that that wasn’t enough and buys you a whole museum or something instead. I already had to talk him down from buying out half an art store as it is.”

Futaba’s words were both a threat and a promise, one that Yusuke knew very well would come true given how eager Akira always was to spoil the people he loved with extravagant gifts--and so he wasted no time in setting aside his sketchbook and pencil in favor of moving over to the booth and picking up the wrapped gift on the seat.

Though she tried not to stare, Futaba couldn’t help but nervously take a few peeks over in Yusuke’s direction in between serving up two plates of curry and two cups of coffee, bringing them over to the table one at a time as she continued to speak to fill the silence between them.

“I hope we got the right stuff--I mean, Akira paid for most of it, but I did the majority of the research, since he just wanted to go and buy the most expensive stuff out there but I  _ told _ him that just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s  _ good _ , but I don’t use art stuff myself so I was just going by reviews and stuff and we didn’t want to get anything that was too cheap either or that you’d use up too quickly so--”

“These are  _ exquisite! _ I’ve always dreamed of possessing supplies of this caliber, but the cost….” Yusuke’s ecstatic expression dimmed slightly in guilt. “Can I even accept such a valuable gift…?”

Futaba finished setting the table for the two of them, freeing up her hands so she could poke Yusuke’s arm with a frown.

“You  _ can _ accept it, and you  _ will _ . I won’t let you not accept it, and Akira  _ definitely _ won’t let you not accept it.”

Yusuke hesitated for a moment longer before bowing his head towards her slightly with a look of joyful gratitude on his face.

“In that case… I humbly accept. Thank you.”

Futaba blushed lightly and waved off his thanks as she plopped herself down into the seat across from him. “Don’t sweat it! And don’t think you’re getting out of accepting everyone else’s gifts, either--they’re all gonna come by later too.”

Yusuke smiled, running his fingers over the set of art supplies before properly taking a seat and turning the full force of his expression over to Futaba. “Thank you… I truly am blessed to have such incredible friends.”

“That’s, um… th-the curry! It’s gonna get cold again, and if I reheat it it’ll taste gross! C’mon, let’s eat!”

It wasn’t exactly the most subtle deflection, but thankfully there was no difference between subtle and overt as far as Yusuke was concerned, since he seemed completely unperturbed by the change in subject.

Or maybe it was just because he was hungry, and free food was always at the top of his list of priorities.

Regardless of the reason, Futaba was grateful to have a moment’s reprieve to collect herself and prepare for the conversation that was to come as she shoveled a few spoonfuls of curry into her mouth, admittedly relieved to see Yusuke enjoying the meal even if Sojiro and Akira had done the majority of the work for her.

Futaba’s phone suddenly went off with a text message notification, and she slipped the device out of her pocket to check who was contacting her, only to roll her eyes in amusement.

Speak of the devil, as they say.

**_Anxious Gay Disaster:_ ** _ Looks like Yusuke liked his gift. I’m glad. _

Futaba was about to text him back when a thought suddenly occurred to her--and she quickly looked over at Yusuke for confirmation as she asked, “Did you text Akira?”

“Akira?” Yusuke’s confusion was all the answer Futaba needed. “Oh--you’re right, I should let him know I received his gift! Thank you for the reminder.”

She paid Yusuke no attention as he took out his phone to text his thanks to Akira, instead turning her gaze first over to one of the bugs in LeBlanc, and then down to her phone with an embarrassed blush heating up her face.

**_My Brother’s Memer:_** _r u seriously watching us rn??_ _  
_ ** _My Brother’s Memer:_** _how???_ ** _  
_** ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** _You showed me how to access the cameras in LeBlanc._ _  
_ ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** _Or, well. At one point you did, anyway._ _  
_ ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** _I just wanted to make sure everything was going well._ _  
_ ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** _Just think of it as me cheering you on from the sidelines!_ _  
_ ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** ♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡

Futaba  _ really _ wanted to question her past-alternate-timeline self and find out what could have possibly possessed her to teach Akira something like that, but at the same time… her embarrassment aside, it  _ was _ actually kind of reassuring knowing that he was watching: at least if things started going south, she knew that Akira would jump in and help her out right away.

Of course, she couldn’t just  _ say _ that to him, though.

**_My Brother’s Memer:_** (；¬д¬)  
 ** _My Brother’s Memer:_** ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ  
 ** _Anxious Gay Disaster:_** ♡☆*･゜ﾟ･*\\(^▿^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆♡

Futaba just barely stopped herself from laughing and shaking her head as she pocketed her phone. Teaching Akira to use kaomoji was a mistake almost on par with her past-alternate-timeline-self teaching Akira how to access security camera feeds. It made it too hard to even pretend to be annoyed with him.

Still, if his intent had been to get rid of the last lingering bits of Futaba’s anxiety, he’d more than done his job: even now, as she turned her attention back over to Yusuke, the thought of being honest with him about her feelings didn’t seem nearly as terrifying as it did before.

Regardless of what happened, she knew she had Akira to back her up and support her. She could do this.

“S-so!”

Futaba winced slightly as her voice cut through the silence a bit more loudly than she’d intended, and though it had the intended effect of catching Yusuke’s attention, she still made a conscious effort to lower her voice as she continued to speak.

“So, um. I’m not sure if you noticed or whatever, but I uh… I wanted you to come here alone on purpose. So we could talk. Alone. A-and maybe I shouldn’t have monopolized your birthday just to talk to you, but this is really important, and your birthday is really important, a-and I figured it was a good day to do this but now that I’m thinking about it maybe this was a bad idea if things go bad I’ll just end up ruining your birthday and--”

“Futaba.” Yusuke’s voice was calm as always, smoothly cutting through her rambling and her rising panic. “You know you can speak freely with me, if there’s something weighing on your mind. I can’t promise I would be as much help as Akira might, but….” He trailed off for a moment, a hint of worry creeping into his tone as he asked, “Or perhaps… did I do something to offend you? Is that what you needed to speak with me about?”

“What? No!” Futaba hastily exclaimed, her gaze shooting up in alarm to finally, properly look at Yusuke. “No, that’s not-- that’s, like, the complete  _ opposite _ of what I’m going for, here! What sort of flag did I trip to get  _ that _ reaction??”

“Well, I know that confrontation discomforts you, and you seem quite nervous… if I misunderstood, then I apologize.” Yusuke’s concern towards Futaba made her feel almost as flustered as she felt when she saw the clear relief in his gaze and his smile. “Please, continue.”

“It’s-- l-like I said, it’s the… opposite, of that. You didn’t do anything to offend me, you-- I mean, well, all of this  _ is _ your fault, kinda, sorta, but not in a bad way I think? Maybe?  _ Ugh. _ ” Futaba gripped her head in frustration, a bright blush heating up her face. “Why is this so  _ hard? _ Look, my point is I-- I just wanted to tell you that I, uh-- a-and you don’t have to force yourself to reply or anything! But, well, I, um… Ilikeyou!”

Futaba took a deep, shaky breath as she glanced away again, feeling drained yet strangely relieved, as if a weight had finally been lifted off of her chest.

She did it. She really did it.

Granted, it wasn’t as smooth or romantic as she’d hoped, but… well, it had to be at least a C or even a B rank, right? Not that great, but still good enough to pass the quest.

Regardless of Yusuke’s response, she could at least feel proud to know that she’d overcome her fear and done something that--even just a few months ago--she never would have pictured herself being able to do. It was a huge accomplishment, getting to this point without chickening out and giving up.

Now all that was left was to wait for Yusuke’s reply, and--

“I like you too.”

Futaba jerked her head back up to stare at Yusuke in stunned, flustered surprise.

Did he just-- no, wait, hold on, she saw this cliche way too many times in anime to fall for it herself.

“As a friend?” Futaba questioned warily, and the confusion on Yusuke’s face answered her well enough even before he opened his mouth to respond.

“Yes, of course. I would go so far as to consider you my closest friend, aside from Akira,” Yusuke replied--but before Futaba could curse all the gods in existence for making her fall for the most oblivious guy on the planet, Yusuke shocked her into silence as he continued to speak. “However, I… believe I understand what you meant, and--provided I’m not misunderstanding both your feelings and my own--I do feel the same way.”

“Wait,” Futaba started, her already-present blush darkening heavily as she took in Yusuke’s words. “Waitwaitwait-- you-- are we talking about the same thing here? We  _ are _ talking about you and me, um--  _ like _ -liking each other, right? Like, romantically? Dating? Relationship? That kind of stuff?”

Yusuke let out a light, airy chuckle, the slightest hint of both relief and amusement in his expression as he met Futaba’s gaze. “I believe so, yes.”

“So-- so you  _ like _ me.”

“Yes.”

“You  _ like _ -like me.”

“I believe we’ve already established this, yes.”

Futaba lightly kicked out at Yusuke’s leg under the table. “Shut up, Inari! I’m just making sure! I mean-- I-I wasn’t even sure you were gonna get what I was saying to begin with, let alone…  _ this _ \-- a-and I was worried if you  _ did _ get it that it would just be a bother for you or it would make things awkward and then you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore and--”

“Futaba,” Yusuke interrupted, reaching across the table to take Futaba’s hand in his own--and despite the embarrassment threatening to swallow her whole, she paradoxically felt herself relaxing as Yusuke gave her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “As I said before, I consider you to be one of my closest and dearest friends, above all else. I can’t think of a single thing that could ever drive us apart.”

“Not even if I mess up your artwork or something, somehow?”

“... No, not even then.”

Futaba huffed and sat up straighter in her seat, looking a cross between amused and offended. “You hesitated! You _totally_ hesitated just now!”

“Well, I imagine you would react the same if I ever damaged your computers or your merchandise,” Yusuke pointed out, and--well, okay, he had a fair point. It would be hard to say with a straight face that she wouldn’t be pissed off if Yusuke destroyed her stuff, accidentally or not.

“Touché,” Futaba conceded. “I’ll be careful around your artwork, and you’ll be careful around my stuff, and we shouldn’t have any problems. That’s fair.”

Especially considering how they might end up spending more time in each other’s rooms if they were going to start dating--

She couldn’t even finish the thought without feeling like her face was about to burst into flames, so she instead decided to push it aside in favor of clearing up one last matter.

“S-so, um… just to make sure, like one-hundred percent… does this mean we’re, uh-- th-that you’re my-- and I’m your--”

“You mean to ask if we’re dating, now?”

As mortifying as it was to hear Yusuke spelling it out so bluntly and without any hint of hesitation, it was also a relief, like just hearing it said aloud by someone that wasn’t her made it  _ real _ .

Futaba gave a stiff, flustered nod in response, tentatively meeting Yusuke’s gaze only to quickly look away once more in embarrassment.

“Well… I admit, I have no experience with dating, or anything similar,” Yusuke confessed with a hint of self-conscious shame in his tone. “Had Akira not talked to me prior about the subject, I might have never even realized that my feelings for you stemmed beyond that of normal friendship--”

“Wait hold on, Akira talked to you about this?!”

Futaba wasn’t sure whether she wanted to strangle her meddling older brother or hug him and thank him profusely for doing a huge portion of the hard work for her.

(No  _ wonder _ Akira had been so confident that things would go well, that little  _ sneak _ .)

“Not about you or your feelings,” Yusuke replied, misinterpreting the cause of her ire. “I was actually the one to seek his advice, as part of my attempt to learn more about the subject of romance for my artwork--but the feelings he described… the light fluttering in your chest when you see a smile on a certain person’s face, and know that you were the one to spark such joy in them; the knowledge that you can speak freely in their presence, and know that you will be accepted and appreciated as you are; the desire to seek out their company before anyone else’s, and the happiness you feel when they choose to spend their time with you before anyone else as well; that sense of belonging and  _ rightness _ by their side like none other… of course there is some overlap with friendship, as I do feel that I have an irreplaceable place in the lives of all of my friends, but I realized as he spoke that your face and your name came to mind most often and most clearly, for each example he gave. I told him as much, and he helped me work through these feelings and come to the conclusion that what I felt for you was, indeed, more than just friendship.”

Futaba buried her burning face in her hands, her annoyed groan coming out as more of a flustered whine.

“You can’t just-- that’s no fair!!  _ I _ was supposed to be the one giving a romantic confession here, you… you… stupid Inari!!”

Of course, she should have figured Yusuke would pull something like this--he practically had art flowing through his veins, and he always spoke all elegantly and flowery and dramatically and stuff. Still, to hear him talking about his feelings for her like that….

She moved one of her hands to blindly reach out until she could grab hold of Yusuke’s once more, holding on tight as she mumbled, “Thank you. I-- I’m the same. I feel the same when I’m with you.”

And it was the truth: she had a special bond with Akira, and even with Ryuji, but… they were like older brothers to her. Yusuke, though… he was different. There was a very particular feeling of comfort that she drew from being in his presence: one that made her heart feel like it was beating way too quickly in her chest, yet at the same time made her feel  _ safe _ , like she didn’t have to be so conscious of rambling too much or jumping from tangent to tangent too quickly because Yusuke always just  _ got it _ \--and sometimes he even did the same when talking with her, their conversations bouncing around like fast-paced ping pong balls and leaving a jittery energy thrumming just under her skin each and every time, whether it was from their heated debates or their passionate discussions.

Akira could follow her conversations well enough, but she had a feeling that was more from just knowing and understanding her after years of exposure. Ryuji could follow more or less when the subject was video games, but anything else she knew usually went over his head, even if he tried his best to keep up and keep her engaged, since he didn’t want her to feel bad--and she knew that the rest of the team was pretty much in a similar boat, which wasn’t to say that they didn’t  _ enjoy _ talking with her (and it wasn’t to say that she didn’t enjoy talking with them either, because she did!), but there was only so much stimulation that they could provide before she felt herself beginning to mentally--and sometimes physically--withdraw, as her brain started reminding her that she was talking  _ too much _ and that they were only just humoring her by listening and they didn’t really care about all this stuff she was rambling on about and--

Yeah. All of that fun stuff.

Point was, she was doing her best to push past those thoughts, but she never  _ had to _ push past those thoughts around Yusuke because she never  _ felt like that _ around Yusuke to begin with--and she could tell sometimes how much of a relief it was for Yusuke as well, to just be able to share his passion with someone who wouldn’t look at him like he was crazy for how expressive he was. Yusuke could talk for  _ hours _ about art, and Futaba never thought she was the type of person who had the patience to listen to someone talk for hours until she spent a full day with Yusuke just  _ talking _ , all smiles and laughter and excitement filling the air between the two of them.

Maybe that was the moment she realized that her relationship with Yusuke was different.  _ Special _ .

Of course, there was an element of physical attraction, too--which Futaba wasn’t entirely sure was reciprocated on Yusuke’s part, mainly because Futaba could acknowledge that Yusuke was  _ gorgeous _ and that she herself was pretty much the farthest thing from a beautiful young woman, so it was kind of hard to see what he could possibly even be attracted  _ to _ \--but she was pretty sure that the majority of the connection between them was emotional, and Akira had assured her that that was arguably the most important part, so… if Yusuke really did feel that same emotional connection with her that she felt with him, and if he really was willing to date her, then honestly, she couldn’t ask for anything else.

Their first kiss could wait, and even their first date could wait: just sitting in the comfort of a familiar cafe, with her hand remaining clasped in Yusuke’s as she asked him about the project he’d gone to Akira for help with, listening with a smile on her face while texting a quick thumbs up to Akira with her free hand--both to let him know that everything had gone well, and to let him know that everyone else could stop by now to wish Yusuke a happy birthday--as Yusuke went on to excitedly describe the vision that he had in mind for his next piece….

For now, that was more than enough to make Futaba feel like the luckiest girl alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, the final ship in the NG+ series is finally together lol
> 
> ~~Sadly though, since this one takes place post-P5S, they're still going to be the only ones not together for the P5S fic :( But I'm sure I'll still fit in snippets of them being cute together regardless, knowing me lmao~~
> 
> Also just as a fun side note, Futaba made Akira start using kaomoji because he got so used to texting all cold and proper from years of detachment (even any time he texted during the main fic, he was always straight to the point and used proper capitalization and punctuation) and she kept ribbing him that he sounded like an old man when he texted, but now he's done a complete 180 and just constantly spams like a million hearts and cute happy faces in his texts lmao


	61. Summer (Timeline #100, 07/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, back to our regularly scheduled Pegoryu with a side of anxious Akira lol

Considering the Metaverse shenanigans that took over Akira’s summer in 2017, and the general state of 2016 as a whole, it was completely understandable that Akira was a bit wary and on-edge once the summer of 2018 began to draw near.

Of course, he tried not to let it show--mainly by focusing on going over the top with celebrating Ryuji’s birthday--but once the date moved past July third, Akira had nothing left to distract himself from stressing out over trying to figure out how the universe would attempt to screw his life over  _ this _ time.

As always, Ryuji somehow knew even without Akira being obvious about it--though that was most likely because he was around Akira even more than he used to be now that they were sharing an apartment together, meaning it was easy to see Akira’s nervous ticks flaring up while they were in the privacy of their home: his body was constantly tense and practically vibrating with nervous energy, while his eyes unconsciously kept darting around to check each and every corner of the room in paranoia, as if waiting for an unseen enemy to jump out and drag him back into another living hell.

Just reassuring Akira obviously wasn’t going to be enough to ease his worries, so Ryuji decided to take a different approach: with their summer vacation right around the corner, he messaged all of their friends to plan a fun, relaxing, Metaverse-less weekend getaway, and he even went so far as to pay for as much as he could afford in advance so they could lock in their reservations (though that was mainly because Ryuji knew that even if he’d been the one to make the plans, Akira would end up paying for everything if Ryuji didn’t do it first because that was just the kind of person he was).

But the hassle of coordinating the trip was well worth it, as far as Ryuji was concerned, when he got to witness Akira’s stress slowly but surely melting away as a genuine smile worked its way onto his face, his defenses gradually dropping the more it sunk in that he was finally going to get to experience a  _ normal _ summer with his friends, with no Metaverse dangers in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: writes a fic saying that summer is the only season where Akira can somewhat let his guard down  
> Also me: writes a fic two prompts later that shoves anxiety into the one season Akira had left to enjoy
> 
> ~~Best part is I'm just working with what canon gives me lmao, sorry Akira I swear I love you~~


	62. Hope (Timeline #100, 12/24/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's another AnnShiho prompt, and is a direct continuation of [prompt #17 (Snow)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233669/chapters/65364868)!

Ann hummed happily as she sipped at her hot chocolate, comfortably leaning against Shiho’s side as they made their way back to Shiho’s house. They still had the rest of the day and all night to enjoy each other’s presence before catching an early train back out to Tokyo for Christmas, and she was clearly determined to enjoy every last second of it with how she’d been glued to her girlfriend’s side from the second that she arrived in Inaba.

(Akira and Haru had both offered to pay for a faster, more private mode of transportation for them to return to Tokyo, but Ann had turned their offers down with the reasoning that it would give her more time to spend with Shiho, which neither of them could fault her for. Granted, she would probably be regretting it when she had to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, but for now she was too busy riding the high of physically being with the girl that she loved with all of her heart to bother worrying about how early she would have to wake up, and how crowded the trains would probably be during the Christmas rush.)

Shiho briefly stepped away from Ann’s side so she could open the front door to her house, rolling her eyes with an affectionate smile as Ann--after they made it inside, locked the door behind them, and shed off their boots, coat, and extra winterwear--immediately went back to pressing up against Shiho’s side.

“You’re going to spill your hot chocolate,” Shiho pointed out, before adding wryly, “and I love you, but I am  _ not _ going back out there to buy you another one if you do.”

Ann stuck her tongue out. “You’re so mean. You would really leave your poor girlfriend to freeze to death with no hot chocolate?”

Shiho pretended to hum in thought, before letting out a lighthearted laugh as she swerved out of the way of Ann’s hand swatting out to hit her.

“Come on, you’ve only seen a few pictures of my house, right?” Shiho continued, as she made her way further into the house. “I still have to properly give you a tour of the place.”

Though it was a bit sad to be reminded of the fact that Shiho was living a life that Ann hadn’t been able to be a part of until now--save for the few video calls that they could make, and the phone calls and texting that they did every day, which still never felt like  _ enough _ when Ann was used to being able to physically hang out with Shiho whenever they wanted to see one another--Ann still smiled brightly and enthusiastically followed Shiho around the house, finishing off the rest of her hot chocolate while Shiho gave her the grand tour.

With Shiho’s parents out for the day, celebrating Christmas Eve together to give the girls some time to catch up with one another, they had full rein to do whatever they wanted (within reason)--so of course, Ann immediately made herself at home as she turned on the Christmas lights in the living room before putting on whatever cheesy Christmas music she could find, while Shiho busied herself with warming up the food that she’d cooked with her mother for her and Ann to eat.

As Shiho moved around the kitchen, humming along with the Christmas music absentmindedly, she found herself inwardly marveling over how  _ right _ this felt: with her and Ann moving around in a shared house, smiling and laughing as they carried a conversation across two separate rooms before Ann finally came to join her in the kitchen, latching onto her and swaying along with the music…

When Kamoshida had first set his sights on her and Ann, things had felt bleak and hopeless--and though she’d been spared the brunt of Kamoshida’s wrath by moving away, it had also put a damper on Shiho’s plans to spend the rest of her life with her best friend, the girl that she loved with all her heart.

Now, though… standing here like this, turning in Ann’s embrace so she could wrap her arms around her in return, Shiho found it easy to hope and dream for a future just like this very moment.

Maybe they would live in Tokyo, maybe in Inaba, or maybe somewhere entirely different--she honestly couldn’t care less, as long as she could hold onto this feeling, and as long as she could stay by Ann’s side.


	63. Party (Timeline #100, 03/20/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love supportive found family Phantom Thieves so much ;u;

Anniversaries were just one of many,  _ many _ things in life that Akira was slowly but surely beginning to grow accustomed to.

Of course, no one but him and the people closest to him would ever know the significance of March twentieth, or why they saw fit to throw a party on this day for Akira when it wasn’t his birthday nor any other notable holiday. To the Phantom Thieves (and to Sojiro, though he still didn’t have quite the same understanding of the impact that this day held for his adoptive son), though, it was a day for them to shower Akira in love and support, to turn what had been--for the past hundred years--a day that Akira dreaded the arrival of into a day to celebrate.

Granted, it was still a work in progress: Akira still worked himself up into a hysterical panic the night of the nineteenth despite his best efforts to stay calm, feeling terrified of falling asleep and waking up back in April of 2016. It took him spending the night in Sojiro’s living room, camped out in a pile of pillows and blankets with all of the Phantom Thieves crowded around him, to finally give in to his body’s exhaustion--but when he woke up the next morning in a comfortable tangle of limbs, with all of the people that he adored pressing close to him as if still trying to provide comfort even in their sleep… Akira couldn’t help but cry in sheer  _ relief _ , even before the celebration truly began, as it sunk in once more that everything was really over.

It would take time, but moments like these--where he could wake up and immediately be assured of when and where he was, with a feeling of warmth in his chest instead of the cold pit of helplessness and despair that he’d grown used to feeling around this date--made Akira truly believe that there would be a point in his future where he would be genuinely  _ okay _ , where he wouldn’t be petrified by the approach of certain times of the year.

For now, though, he merely focused on drying his tears, relaxing into the arms of his fiance and the reassuring touches of his closest friends, and drifting back off to sleep with a small, content smile on his face.

He had a party to look forward to today, after all, and he wanted to be rested enough to enjoy it to the fullest.


	64. Infinite (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I saw the prompt "infinite", of course my brain went straight to Akira's infinite loop of suffering lol

Though he’d already acknowledged that he was trapped in a time loop, and though he already was beginning to grasp the hopelessness of his situation, it didn’t quite sink in that this loop could be potentially  _ infinite _ until he woke up on April 11, 2016, and couldn’t remember what number loop it was anymore.

It was certainly over thirty by now, right? Or was it forty? Fifty?  _ Sixty? _

How long would this continue for? Yaldabaoth would have to get bored of torturing him like this  _ eventually _ … right?

Did gods even have the same concept of time that humans did? Even just the thought of having already spent  _ decades _ like this was enough to make Akira feel like throwing up.

But what if this went on for  _ centuries? _ For an  **_eternity?_ **

It was unfathomable,  _ impossible _ for any human to wrap their mind around even just the  _ idea _ of living for that long--yet here he was, still trapped in 2016, in the body of a high schooler, when by all rights he should be a fully-grown  _ adult _ with how many years (months, weeks, days, hours, minutes,  _ seconds _ ) that he’d already lived through.

And the worst part was that Akira had no choice but to keep going.

There was no escape, no way out of this infinite loop: he’d died, he’d watched his friends die, he’d reached the end of the year, he hadn’t made it past the very first day, and all that he learned in the end was that no matter what he did, there was no way to break free.

Maybe it should have felt freeing, in a way, to embrace the idea that everything was hopeless: he wouldn’t have to try so hard, he wouldn’t have to keep searching for things that he hadn’t done yet, he wouldn’t have to do  _ anything _ but drift listlessly through the rest of eternity, until Yaldabaoth finally grew bored of him and disposed of him however he saw fit.

Yet there was that small, annoying,  _ incessant _ voice in the back of his head-- _ AkiraJokerArsèneSatanael _ \--that wouldn’t let him give up, no matter how many times he felt himself hitting rock bottom.

So Akira would force himself out of bed, clawing his way back up from the depths of his muddled, despairing mind until he could manage a passable façade of normality, and play his role in this endless game once more.

Again--

\--and again--

\--and again--

\--and again.


	65. Dance (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've already done some P5D stuff in this collection, I decided to switch it up with this prompt and give a little glimpse at how Akira was so good at dancing in the P5D NG+ fic to begin with lol ~~with some small (bittersweet) scraps of AkiHaru because they're one of my favorite Akira ships outside of Pegoryu and I never write enough about them ;u;~~

If there was one speck of good in this cursed time loop, it’s that it was allowing Akira the chance to not only explore new interests and skillsets, but also to learn more about the friends that he really and truly did love with all his heart and soul.

Take this timeline, for example: he had chosen to indulge the small crush that Haru had developed on him, and offered to be her boyfriend--always with a sharp pang of grief in his chest, always with a quiet yearning for someone else that he knew would never return his feelings--to which she happily accepted.

(Part of him always felt so guilty, so _wrong_ for dating people that he had no romantic or even physical interest in, but… selfish as it was, he needed _some_ sort of distraction from the ever-present despair weighing down his heart, even if it meant putting on an act and pretending it wasn’t slowly killing him to be with someone who wasn’t Ryuji.)

In any case, dating Haru was always an interesting experience, given her social status and upbringing--and it was also a bit of a relief, knowing that Haru was always so kind and conscientious in the few timelines that he dated her, never once stepping past the bounds of Akira’s comfort no matter how much Akira knew that she craved the physical affection that he couldn’t bring himself to give or receive. Akira found her presence to be somewhat of a safe comfort, inasmuch as he could allow himself to feel, since they could spend hours just talking or gardening or visiting various cafes together while avoiding any unnecessary physical contact with one another.

Sometimes, Akira could even allow himself to forget for a moment and pretend that everything was normal, in moments like these.

(Yet those times were also the most painful, as they brought with them the small scraps of optimism that Akira tried so desperately to rid himself of, making him foolishly believe that maybe this time, things would be different--maybe this time, something would change--maybe this time, he could finally be _free_ \--)

There were times, however, where things deviated the slightest bit from Akira’s expectations--not enough to be _alarming_ , just intriguing. Small little blips on the radar of Akira’s awareness, things that he would end up absorbing into the overflowing bank of knowledge that he’d accumulated, allowing him to retain the information without necessarily keeping the memory associated with it.

Like learning that Haru used to practice ballet, and deciding to take up dancing alongside her, to help give this Haru in this timeline that he would never see again a small, fond memory to look back on.

(Provided, of course, that this timeline existed beyond his reset, which Akira hoped it wouldn’t. As much as he suffered, he would never wish the same grief onto his friends, especially not in the timelines where things went so horribly wrong.)

Learning to dance ballet was an… _interesting_ experience, one that he was sure his body would retain if not his mind. He could very vaguely recall distant memories from before the time loop, of gymnastics and drama club practices, so he wasn’t too surprised that he managed to adjust and pick up the basics quickly enough--it was just the feeling of having someone witnessing him learning something for the first time that threw him off his game a bit.

He’d gotten so used to learning things on his own in previous timelines, and carrying over the skills year after year, that it almost felt mortifying to be seen at anything less than perfect.

Yet at the same time, it felt pleasantly liberating--both to share in a completely _new_ experience with someone, and to see a brand new side to one of the few people in this world that he was still able to care about, despite everything.


	66. Body (Timeline #100, XX/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually one of the earlier drabbles that I wrote, because I really wanted to take a look at how Akira would handle physically growing older and this was the perfect prompt for it ;u;

Akira knew that time was moving forward, but there was a difference between having a vague sense of one year passing into the next, and seeing for himself the effects that time was having on his body.

It was jarring to look in the mirror and see someone that was him and  _ not _ him at the same time: the person staring back at him still looked like him, of course, but just…  _ older _ . His face lost the small bits of boyish roundness it had; he had to actually  _ shave _ (the first time he tried was a mortifying horror story that Akira would rather not think about, even if Ryuji assured him that it was perfectly understandable for him to freak out over putting anything sharp near his face after all the trauma he’d been through); his body was taller and more toned as he and Ryuji kept up their gym visits together; he looked… well, he looked like an  _ adult _ , like his body was finally--slowly but surely--catching up with the added years that his mind had gone through.

He felt both thrilled and terrified, even if it probably wasn’t normal for him to be so hyper-aware of all the changes his body was going through--but after one hundred years of being stuck in the same teenage body, it was hard to  _ not _ notice when he began to physically grow and mature.

Akira was pulled from his dazed examination of himself when he saw another person’s reflection walk into view, startling him for a moment until he registered who it was, in time with the feeling of arms wrapping around his waist in a loose hug.

“One of those days, huh?” Ryuji commented, long since having gotten used to Akira’s occasional moments of obsessively examining his body in their bathroom mirror--and though he made the occasional lighthearted joke about Akira turning into a narcissist, Ryuji understood the reason behind it even without Akira needing to explain himself.

Not that Akira was surprised. Even years later, it still never failed to make his heart soar to know that Ryuji knew him almost better than he knew himself.

Akira’s gaze traveled away from his own reflection and over to Ryuji’s, drinking in his features with an unabashedly enamored look: even if Ryuji had grown and changed as well--his hair was no longer a vibrant blond, his body had filled out more than his younger, lankier form, he had an ear piercing that he got in university and a hint of stubble that tickled Akira’s skin as he rested his chin against Akira’s shoulder--Akira could still see the boy that he’d fallen so deeply in love with beneath the man that he’d become, and he had a feeling that no matter how many years passed and no matter how old their bodies grew, that would be the one thing that would always remain the same.

As always, Ryuji walked the line between stasis and change effortlessly, providing an anchor and a source of comfort that Akira was sure he would never grow used to no matter how many years ( _ decades _ ) passed, nor would he ever be able to properly express the sheer depth of his gratitude and adoration.

For now, just as he always did, all he could do was turn in Ryuji’s hold and press a kiss to his lips in order to convey even just a fraction of his feelings--and as Ryuji always did, he understood, accepted, and reciprocated Akira’s feelings without a single word needing to be shared between them.


	67. Hair (Timeline #100, XX/20XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Ryuji PoV drabble this time to switch things up a bit!

It probably shouldn’t have been as big of a deal as Ryuji was making it out to be in his mind, but he couldn’t help it: he’d been bleaching his hair for so long now that trying to decide whether or not to give it up was genuinely stressing him out.

Still, now that he was getting closer to graduating, he realized that the whole delinquent punk look that carried him through high school and university might not be as tolerated by his future boss as it was by his teachers and professors (most of which had been on his ass to go back to his natural color ever since he started bleaching his hair, at least back in high school anyway, so that wasn’t exactly saying much in the ways of tolerance).

This sucked. Like, really,  _ really _ sucked. He didn’t  _ want _ to change any part of himself, but he knew firsthand that adults were judgmental assholes, and he didn’t want to cost himself a potential job just because he was too stubborn to stop bleaching his hair.

People may have considered him an idiot, and maybe he was, but even he wasn’t  _ that _ stupid.

There were other pros and cons to allowing his natural color to grow back in, too, that he had to think about: constantly bleaching his hair was starting to make his hair a bit brittle, which would be a problem in the long run, so it would probably be healthy to give his hair a break--that would be the biggest pro (aside from making it a bit easier for him to get a decent job).

The biggest con, however, was Akira.

Not that he thought Akira wouldn’t be supportive if Ryuji decided to stop bleaching his hair, of course--Ryuji was just worried about the effect it might have on Akira’s mind, since he was so used to seeing Ryuji with blond hair and was still struggling with dealing with anything  _ new _ and  _ different _ .

Would Akira wake up one morning, next to Ryuji in their shared bed, and panic when the first thing he saw was a head of black hair instead of blond? Ryuji would like to think that he wouldn’t, but given how unstable Akira’s mind could be at times--especially early in the morning, when he was still waking up and trying to reorient himself--it was, in his opinion, a legitimate concern.

The last thing Ryuji ever wanted to do was be the one triggering Akira’s trauma instead of easing it.

Yet when Ryuji finally worked up the courage to sit down with Akira and talk with him about it, Akira surprised him by laughing and pulling him into a hug.

“You really are the best fiance ever,” Akira said, his affection clear both from his tone and his gaze as he pulled back enough to rest his forehead against Ryuji’s. “I feel bad for making you worry so much, but… it makes me happy, too, to know that you’re always thinking of me and trying to make me feel at ease.”

Before Ryuji could so much as open his mouth to say anything, Akira pressed a quick kiss to his lips, silencing him enough to allow Akira to continue speaking.

“Of course, seeing you without blond hair will take some getting used to, but… Ryuji, as long as I can wake up in your arms each morning, I’ll always know where I am and who I’m with. It doesn’t matter what color your hair is--you’re still the boy that stole my heart and saved me time and time again, and that will never change.”

As embarrassing as it was to hear, Akira’s assertions put both Ryuji’s mind and heart at ease, allowing him to finally relax and accept his decision without any feelings of guilt.

Like Akira said, it would take some getting used to--for both of them, not just for Akira--but as long as Ryuji had his fiance’s support and encouragement, he knew that everything would work out just fine.


	68. Eyes (Timeline #100, XX/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Ryuji PoV drabble, this time set early in timeline #100 instead of post-time loop!

Akira was a difficult person to get a read on--even for Ryuji, whose only worthwhile skill (as far as he was concerned, and excluding his ability to run which Kamoshida had stolen from him) was his ability to understand people.

His gut feelings never lied, and--even if he lacked the necessary tact, and never knew the right things to say or do to help--he could usually get a pretty good idea of how someone was feeling, for better worse, regardless of how much they tried to hide it. It was a skill born of navigating close quarters with a man whose temperament could turn violent at the drop of a hat, something that he  _ needed _ to know from a young age in order to  survive , but even after his father was long gone, he still found himself unconsciously searching people for signs and tells, for wordless signals to know how to interact with anyone that crossed his path.

(Not that it did much good against Kamoshida--but just because Ryuji could tell that a person was a shitty adult looking to make his life miserable, that didn’t mean he had the proper control of his own emotions to stop himself from playing right into Kamoshida’s hands anyway.)

When it came to Akira, though… the guy was like a blank slate. He never looked happy, or sad, or angry, or afraid, or  _ anything _ .

It was a bit off-putting, until Ryuji saw Akira’s mask finally crack, and learned  _ why _ he always seemed so in control of himself and his emotions.

From then on, Ryuji began to pay closer attention to his best friend, and slowly but surely began to learn how to read him. It was almost like learning a whole new language, with how differently Akira expressed himself and how deep Ryuji had to dig just to reach the parts of Akira’s heart that weren’t sealed off and hidden away from the rest of the world--yet there was one thing that Ryuji noticed right away, above all else.

While Akira’s expressions were always muted (aside from when it was just the two of them in private, when Akira would let his guard down and allow himself to truly  _ feel _ and  _ express _ himself), his eyes were a constant giveaway to how he was feeling.

It wasn’t a very  _ obvious _ giveaway, of course, but once Ryuji picked up on this little detail, he began to notice it all the time: the way Akira’s gaze would light up when he was happy; the way his eyes would narrow slightly when he was annoyed or wary; the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle with silent laughter; the way his gaze would flit around when he was on-edge… both the good and the bad were plain as day to see reflected in Akira’s eyes, so long as Ryuji took the time to properly observe him.

While Ryuji prided himself on being the only person to be able to read Akira and understand him so thoroughly, though, he couldn’t help but feel both relieved and elated when Akira gradually began to let himself open up around more people than just Ryuji himself.

After all, even if Ryuji loved to see Akira’s eyes alight with joy, it was always an even more rewarding sight when accompanied by Akira’s unguarded smile.


	69. From Behind (Timeline #???, ???)

The longer the time loop continued, the more paranoid Akira found himself growing: not out of fear of death--though he would rather avoid it if he could, as dying was never pleasant no matter how many times he experienced it--but rather just because it had been so long since he well and truly  _ rested _ that his mind and body were both constantly high-strung.

Of course, he would laugh it off along with the rest of his friends who likened him to an easily-startled cat, practically hitting the ceiling if someone approached him from behind. He couldn’t exactly tell them to stay in his peripherals at all times to try to put his mind at ease (or at least, as much at ease as it could possibly be, which wasn’t very much), nor could he explain exactly  _ why _ he was so on edge all the time--but thankfully, even if his friends were oblivious to his suffering, they were at least kind enough to do what they could to avoid catching him off-guard once the initial amusement eventually faded into concern.

As much as he hated making anyone worry about him ( _ they couldn’t help him anyway, nothing could help him, he was trapped and exhausted and in such deep despair and  _ **_nothing could ever help_ ** ), it still warmed his heart whenever Morgana gave him a gentle warning that someone was approaching from behind, or when he heard his friends loudly calling out to him from behind or purposely approaching him from either side so he could see them out of the corner of his eye, all just to try and ease a fear that they didn’t-- _ couldn’t _ \--understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm sure all the coffee he drinks at LeBlanc probably isn't helping with his jumpiness either lol;;~~


	70. Upside Down (Timeline #100, XX/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another soft post-time loop drabble, nothing new here lol

If Akira thought that his life had been turned on its head over the past two years--with all the changes Ryuji had helped bring about in 2016, and then everything that happened as he experienced the entirety of 2017 for the very first time--then there was no way to ever explain how out of his depth he felt living through 2018.

University was something that Akira had never even considered being able to attend, not while trapped within a time loop that forced him to repeatedly live through his second year of high school. Even just attending his  _ third _ year of high school was mind-blowing enough, but  _ university _ ? University meant a brand new building, in a brand new location, filled with brand new people and brand new subjects to study and a whole  _ slew _ of brand new things to stress out over.

On the flip side, though, living through 2018 meant getting to experience  _ living with Ryuji _ , which was another--much more positive--change that left Akira’s head spinning. He was so used to taking whatever few hours of Ryuji’s time that he could possibly get, and so used to having to hope that Ryuji’s mother wouldn’t mind if Ryuji slept over (which she never did, the kindhearted woman that she was), that the thought of getting to come home to see Ryuji  _ every night _ and getting to wake up and see Ryuji  _ every morning _ was mind-boggling.

And to think, he was only two years into the future--only  _ two years _ into the rest of his life, compared to almost a full  _ century _ that he’d already lived through. If so much could change in just two short years, leaving Akira feeling like he barely knew up from down anymore, then he couldn’t even begin to imagine what the next few decades would have in store for him--yet despite his nervous apprehension, despite feeling overwhelmed and in over his head… Akira found himself brimming with excitement as he looked forward to each and every brand new day ahead of him.


	71. Linger (Timeline #100, XX/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P5S is finally out (digitally), so guess where all of my free time for the rest of the month ~~and possibly longer because I take Forever to play through games~~ is going lmao
> 
> I'll still be keeping up regular updates here, though, so no worries there! Hopefully I'll have something new to post for this NG+ series by the time I finish posting all of these drabbles lol;;

No matter how much he tried to stop himself, Akira’s gaze always ended up lingering on Ryuji.

Normally, this would be something dangerous, something he would never be able to so much as entertain the temptation to do. Normally, staring at Ryuji would raise questions, would reveal too much, would draw too much attention to himself--

Luckily, this timeline was anything but normal.

He was  _ allowed _ to indulge in the desire to simply take in Ryuji’s bright, warm presence. Even if someone caught him staring at Ryuji for a few moments too long, there were no negative repercussions: if it was his friends that noticed, they would either give him a knowing look or a teasing smile, and if it was Ryuji himself….

Well, Ryuji always seemed happy to have Akira’s attention on him, and that realization alone was enough to make Akira’s heart feel ten times too big for his chest.

Ryuji was never bothered by Akira’s gaze lingering for longer than normal--and though he would occasionally grow a bit flustered, he would always return Akira’s reverent look with a bright, affectionate grin of his own.

It was so easy to lose himself in Ryuji’s eyes, Ryuji’s smile, Ryuji’s warmth and light--

But the times when it was easiest for him to get swept away in his adoration towards Ryuji were the few times that he caught Ryuji’s gaze lingering on  _ him _ in turn. It was a silent reminder that Akira’s feelings were  _ reciprocated _ , that Ryuji really and truly  _ loved him _ and wasn’t just humoring him.

With those feelings giving him strength, Akira knew in his heart--despite his many,  _ many _ worries and fears--that this timeline (that  _ Ryuji _ ) would be the one to finally grant him the freedom that he’d been fighting so desperately for for so long.


	72. Pain (Timeline #100, 12/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I touched on this subject briefly in the main fic but never really expanded on it, so this was the perfect prompt to take a closer look at how Akira processes (or doesn't process, rather) pain ;_;

Akira, as Ryuji slowly but surely came to realize, had an  _ alarmingly _ high tolerance for pain.

It wasn’t an easy thing to notice, at first, since there weren’t very many times that Akira got seriously hurt: in the Metaverse, he was always at the top of his game (and the few times that he wasn’t, he had strong enough healing spells to patch himself up with right away), and outside the Metaverse, his guard was always up so high that he never so much as stubbed his toe or banged his elbow, at least not that Ryuji had witnessed.

The first time that Ryuji had witnessed Akira  _ seriously _ injured, it was after the nightmare that was the interrogation room incident--which had at least ended on a positive note, as it gave Ryuji the push he needed to finally put his feelings for Akira into words, but the fact of the matter still stood that Akira had gotten roughed up  _ really badly _ by those goddamned cops.

What was more alarming, though, was how little Akira seemed to care about his injuries--or rather, it wasn’t that he didn’t  _ care _ so much as he just didn’t  _ register _ the fact that he was injured in the first place. He would still move around like normal, as if he didn’t have cuts and bruises and fractured ribs and even a slight concussion, and would often only rest because everyone who caught him walking around would fret and tell him to go back to bed.

(Of course, Ryuji understood why Akira couldn’t just sit around in his room doing nothing, and he knew it was difficult to balance worrying about Akira’s physical and mental states when what Akira needed for one would be detrimental to the other, so all he could do was offer his support however he could until Akira’s body and mind had both recovered.)

When it was safe for Akira to be out and about--both physically, and with regards to worrying about Akechi discovering that he was still alive--it was no surprise that he wanted to throw himself back into any sort of activity that would keep his body moving, and Ryuji had no problems with indulging Akira and taking trips to the gym with him whenever they both had some time to spare. It had been a while since Ryuji had gone to work out anyway, since it felt kind of wrong to go while he knew Akira was cooped up inside, so it would be good for both of them to get back into shape for their next (and probably  _ final, _ going by what Akira told them ) Metaverse heist.

Unfortunately, that ended up leading to their current predicament.

“Dude, your ankle!”

Ryuji only happened to catch sight of Akira’s swollen ankle by chance, when Akira and Ryuji were changing out of their workout clothes, and his exclamation caused Akira to pause and look down at his ankle with a confused expression.

“Huh,” he remarked, much too casually for someone with a blatantly injured ankle. “Guess I must have twisted it on the treadmill.”

Ryuji stared in bewilderment as Akira merely shrugged and finished getting changed like nothing was wrong.

“Akira, you  _ twisted your ankle _ and you didn’t  _ say _ anything?” Ryuji asked, apparently a bit too harshly as Akira immediately looked back over at him in startled alarm.

“That’s not-- I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t realize; I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, I swear.”

Ryuji let out a sigh, his expression softening slightly--just because he was worried about Akira, that didn’t mean he wanted Akira to think he was mad at him.

“I believe you,” Ryuji replied to put Akira’s nerves at ease, finishing pulling on his change of clothes before continuing with a small frown. “Still, that looked pretty swollen… did you seriously not notice?”

Akira shrugged weakly, glancing away as he absentmindedly lifted his hand to nervously toy with his bangs. “It looks worse than it is?”

“You said the same thing back when you--” Ryuji cut off, both because he didn’t want to speak about the interrogation in public, and because the realization suddenly hit him. “Is that why? Because it’s… not as bad as what you went through  _ that time? _ ”

Akira winced guiltily, his gaze dropping as he murmured, “I’m just… used to it. I’m sorry.”

Ryuji let out another sigh, running a hand through his hair before adopting a determined expression as he cleared the small distance between himself and Akira--and before Akira could so much as look up at him, Ryuji slipped an arm around his back and bent enough to hook his arm behind Akira’s knees, hefting him up in a smooth, practiced movement that never failed to make Akira blush a bright, adorable red.

“R-- Ryuji? What are you--”

Completely unfazed by the fact that they were still in public (even if the gym was pretty much empty anyway), Ryuji silenced Akira with a kiss that he quickly relaxed into despite the bright blush still coloring his entire face--which also served to distract Akira enough for Ryuji to carry him over to a nearby bench, so he could set him down and properly inspect his ankle.

“It’s not too bad, thankfully, least not as far as I can tell. I can wrap it for you, and I’ll sleep over and make sure you ice it right and stay off of it to get the swelling down,” Ryuji said after a moment of carefully feeling Akira’s ankle. “If it’s not better by tomorrow, I’m bringing you to that doctor friend of yours to get a professional opinion. Sound fair?”

Akira nodded, traces of guilt lingering in his expression even as he gave Ryuji a small smile. “Thank you.”

Ryuji straightened up enough to press one more kiss to Akira’s lips, before pulling back to give him a reassuring smile. “You don’t gotta thank me--just promise you’ll try ‘n’ be more conscious of when you’re hurt, okay? And if you  _ do _ get hurt, then I want you to  _ tell _ someone, even if it doesn’t feel like a big deal to you. Just ‘cuz you can deal with the pain, that doesn’t mean you should.”

“Alright,” Akira replied softly, his expression relaxing slightly once he was sure that Ryuji wasn’t upset with him. “I promise.”

“Good.”

With that, Ryuji stood up and went off to borrow the gym’s first aid kit, before quickly returning and getting to work, wrapping up Akira’s ankle with practiced ease and nodding to himself in satisfaction once he was done.

“There. How’s that feel? Too tight?”

Akira shook his head. “It’s fine--honest,” he quickly added, as he saw the look that Ryuji shot him. “I swear, it’s not too tight or anything.”

Ryuji let out a sigh, before giving Akira a small smile. “Fine, fine, I believe you.”

He closed up the first aid kit and set it aside before turning his attention back over to Akira--and before Akira could so much as think about trying to stand up on his own, Ryuji’s smile had already widened into a mischievous grin as he pushed himself up to his feet and quickly swept Akira back up into his arms.

“ _ Ryuji! _ ” Akira exclaimed, his face flooding with heat once more even as he held on to his boyfriend. “I can walk--”

“Not on that ankle, you’re not.”

“You can’t carry me all the way back to LeBlanc, that’s--”

Ryuji grin shifted to a toothy smirk at the challenge, and the rest of Akira’s protests died on his tongue as he let out an flustered noise and hid his face in the crook of Ryuji’s neck.

(Of course, Akira was (unfortunately) right that Ryuji wasn’t able to carry him all the way back to LeBlanc, but carrying him to the train station was at least doable--and it was well-worth Ryuji’s own embarrassment if it meant reminding Akira that he had people that he could rely on to take care of him any time he got injured.)


	73. Picture (Timeline #4, 06/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Akira in the earlier timelines almost hurts just as much as writing him in the later timelines, knowing how he's still holding on to hope and optimism when he has so much more suffering ahead of him ;_;

With how disastrous the two previous attempts had gone, Akira--after forcibly pulling himself together, at least enough to acknowledge that him letting his emotions get the better of him was literally putting himself and others in danger--decided to focus his energy on retracing every last step that he’d taken throughout the first year, as closely as he could possibly remember.

And to his surprise and immense relief, it was  _ working _ .

No one had died yet, his friends had accepted him (even if they believed it was their first time meeting Akira), and everything was going just as he remembered. As glad as he was about this, though, it just made him all the more paranoid about accidentally doing or saying something different, something that would ruin everything and force him back to the beginning of the year once more.

Which meant that he kept himself so busy and so high-strung that he never even realized that he hadn’t touched the cardboard box filled with his belongings until about two months into the year, when Morgana questioned him about what was in it.

Something in his gut told him to wave the question off, and so he did, telling Morgana that it was just some extra clothes and stuff that he’d brought with him from home--and while Morgana still seemed curious, he (thankfully) respected Akira’s privacy enough to not go snooping.

A very,  _ very _ good thing, considering how when Akira finally did open the box--after Morgana had gone out for his nightly stroll--what he found inside was clearly  _ not _ the belongings that he’d brought with him from home.

There was Metaverse equipment, a small bit of money, and a few keepsakes from some of the confidants that he’d befriended and helped over the course of the year--the course of the  _ first _ year, which made absolutely  _ no sense _ .

Did that mean that there were more things that carried over through the resets besides just his memories?

Akira rummaged through the box, his heart heavy with grief and longing as he brushed his fingers over each and every last gift that he’d received.

And then he found a single picture, at the very bottom of the box, and his composure very nearly broke entirely.

It was a picture of all of the Phantom Thieves together, taken on their road trip as they drove Akira back home: they were all crammed together in the frame, making silly faces, and they were all so  _ happy _ that it was almost painful to look at.

As much as it hurt, though, it was just a reminder of what he was fighting for--what he was trying so hard to reclaim. He would go through this year again, and he would do everything  _ right _ , and then everything would be okay and  _ normal _ again.

That’s what he had to keep telling himself as he brushed his fingers over the image of Ryuji’s face pressed close to his, the affection between them clear as day, before burying the picture back at the bottom of the box and pushing the box back into its place on the shelf so Morgana wouldn’t see it.

He would reach his happy ending again, no matter what.


	74. Glasses (Timeline #100, XX/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now to make up for the previous sad drabble, have a softer post-timeline drabble <3

“Y’know, I’ve been meaning to ask… why d’you still wear these?”

Akira looked up from his book in time to see Ryuji sitting down next to him on the couch and reaching out towards him, and he put up no resistance as Ryuji plucked his glasses right off of his face and put them onto his own.

“They look cute on you,” Akira said with a smile that widened as Ryuji blushed and rolled his eyes.

“Course you’d think that,” Ryuji replied, hardly able to repress the smile of his own that tugged at the corners of his lips. “You didn’t answer my question, though: you don’t need them to see, so why do you still wear them?”

Akira cocked his head slightly, his expression far too innocent to be anything less than teasing as he asked, “Why? Do you think I look bad in them?”

“That’s not what I--” Ryuji cut himself off with a huff as he realized Akira was just messing with him, and he reached over to muss Akira’s hair, a smile quickly working its way onto his face despite his faux-annoyance when he saw Akira’s expression immediately light up as he leaned into the playful gesture. “You know what I meant. You look good with them, but you look good  _ without _ them too. Why d'you need to hide your face behind these huge glasses? It’s not like you still have a record or anything, y’know.”

Akira blushed lightly, reaching out to take his glasses back from Ryuji and putting them back onto his own face before replying, “I know I don’t have a record anymore, but… I guess it’s just habit, like everything else. I’ve worn these glasses for so many decades now that I feel, well…  _ exposed _ without them.” He fiddled with the frame a bit as he murmured, “I don’t mind keeping them off around you, or around our friends or Sojiro, but other than that… it’s going to take some time, I guess, to get used to the idea of not having to hide my face from the public.”

Ryuji’s expression softened, and he wasted no time in wrapping an arm around Akira in a loose hug, smiling slightly as Akira immediately set his book aside in favor of turning and wrapping his arms around Ryuji in return.

“I get what you mean. You don’t have to rush--I was just curious, honestly.” Ryuji kissed the top of Akira’s head before gently removing Akira’s glasses once more and teasingly adding, “Besides, I already have my work cut out for me, trying to keep all the girls on campus off of you--imagine how much more work I’d have if they saw how gorgeous that face of yours is  _ without _ these cute, dorky glasses on.”

Akira blushed heavily, hiding his face against Ryuji’s chest even as he let out a soft, flustered laugh. “That’s not true, but… well, the last thing I would want is to give you more work. Maybe I’ll keep wearing those glasses after all.”

“Or maybe I should get glasses too, to match with you,” Ryuji continued with a teasing grin. “I think I could pull off the whole nerdy jock look, don’t you?”

Akira looked up at Ryuji with an excited smile and a calculating gleam in his eye, and Ryuji immediately realized he’d just made a joking comment to the absolute  _ worst _ person to give ideas to.

“ _ Akira _ \--”

“What? I wasn’t planning anything,” Akira replied innocently, though it was clear as day that Ryuji had already planted the seed of an image in his fiance’s enamored mind.

Ryuji deflated with a defeated sigh. “Just… nothing too expensive, and don’t go crazy buying a bunch of pairs. Deal?”

With the way Akira’s expression lit up, though, it was hard to feel like this was all that much of a defeat, even if it meant he’d just resigned himself to trying on fashion glasses for who-knows how many hours before Akira finally found the  _ perfect _ ones for him.

No matter what, seeing Akira looking so happy and excited was always worth it, in the end.


	75. Celebrate (Timeline #???, ???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the prompt, this isn't exactly a very celebratory drabble lmao;; But we officially hit the 3/4 mark for this drabble collection, so that's at least one good thing to celebrate! <3

As good of an actor Akira had become over the years, it was beginning to grow more and more difficult to fake the happiness and enthusiasm that his friends were expecting from him.

Of course it would be odd if he showed no excitement or relief whenever they successfully changed someone’s heart, but knowing what would happen before it happened had a way of sucking all the joy (or the tension) out of any situation. He still tried, since he didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to himself, but the more time passed, the worse his acting seemed to grow.

Or perhaps it was simply that he was tired: tired of pretending and lying to his friends, tired of celebrating when he knew he would just be stealing these same hearts over and over again, tired of working so hard when everything would just reset in the end, tired of--

Well, tired of  _ everything _ , really.

At this point, he knew that the only thing he would ever be able to truly, wholeheartedly celebrate would be having his unrequited feelings returned and breaking free of the time loop for good--but they were both unattainable dreams, and it was almost sad to say that he didn’t even know which option was less likely to ever happen.

So until the day came where he could genuinely rejoice and join in on his friends’ happiness, he would just continue to put on his act, playing his part as best as his shattered mind and heart possibly could.


	76. Cooking (Timeline #100, XX/2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a spoiler since "Joker's Kitchen" just a P5S game mechanic but I absolutely love how Akira is canonically an amazing cook, I always hc'd him as one but it's great to see him just picking up recipes other than curry and mastering them with ease now that he's got LeBlanc's curry recipe under his belt and has all that experience cooking with Sojiro for basically his whole year in Tokyo ;u;

Now that Akira and Ryuji were living together, Akira was glad to say that he could spoil his fiance to his heart’s content, each and every day.

Granted, Ryuji didn’t  _ let _ Akira spoil him each and every day, but the fact that the possibility was there at all was enough to make Akira feel like he was on cloud nine.

One of the many, many ways that Akira enjoyed spoiling Ryuji was by cooking for him--which was good for Akira too, since he’d spent the past century basically making coffee and curry all the time, and he only just started expanding his repertoire beyond curry and coffee over their summer trip last year with the few different recipes he’d picked up along the way, so he was still on the lookout for different recipes to try experimenting with whenever he got the chance.

It was always a joy to move around their kitchen ( _ their kitchen! _ ) in their apartment ( _ their apartment!! _ ), humming to himself as he prepared a brand new dish every day--or at least, every day that he got home before Ryuji did, since Ryuji seemed to enjoy surprising him with a home-cooked meal whenever he got home first too.

If getting to cook for Ryuji was a dream come true, then having Ryuji cook for  _ him _ and getting to eat  _ his _ cooking was downright  _ euphoric _ . It was just one of the many, many things that he’d been convinced for so long that he would never get to experience, and yet here he was, living out one of his biggest pipe dreams.

Whether he was cooking or being cooked for, Akira felt like the luckiest person alive for getting to spend each night sharing a meal with the love of his life.


	77. Magic (Timeline #100, 01/2017)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally today's prompt was supposed to be "Candy", but I wrote that to take place on White Day and I just realized that my posting schedule actually falls right on White Day, so I figured I'd just move some stuff around and change the posting order a bit lol. So instead of a White Day drabble, here's a sappy, bittersweet post-solitary confinement Ryuji PoV drabble <3

Even after being together with Akira for almost a full year now, it still left Ryuji in awe sometimes just knowing how much of an effect he could have on Akira’s mental, physical, and emotional state with just a single action or a few short words.

It was something that Ryuji had known and acknowledged a few times in the back of his mind, but never was it more clear than after Akira got out of solitary confinement: though he’d quite obviously regressed back to his old mental state from the previous timelines, and though he was mentally and emotionally in shambles as he struggled to piece his memories of this timeline back together, the fact that he was still so receptive to Ryuji--still trusted him  _ so much _ despite being (unintentionally) hurt by him over and over again in all the other timelines--was nothing short of a miracle in and of itself.

All Ryuji had to do was hold him close, and--as if like magic--all of the nervous tension in Akira’s body would immediately drain away. All Ryuji had to do was kiss him and tell him he loves him, and--though Akira would get extremely flustered, even more so than usual now that he was readjusting to this timeline, and though he would immediately tear up each and every time--he would look so  _ content _ and  _ happy _ that Ryuji always felt a warm, peaceful feeling settling in his own heart in return.

If this was how he could help Akira, if this was how he could apologize for not stopping him from turning himself in… then Ryuji would gladly stay glued to Akira’s side, providing him with all the love and support that he needed (that he  _ deserved _ ) until he could gather the strength to stand on his own two feet once more.


	78. Ice Cream (Timeline #100, 08/27/2016)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one kind of got out of hand, in that I started off with an idea but by the time I finished I ended up with something completely different, and to make matters worse I didn't even manage to fit in the original prompt... whoops;; But I liked it too much to scrap it, so I just kind of... squeezed the prompt into like one line sdlkfj but hopefully that's good enough to still count lmao;;

Though it was a stressful time for everyone, no one was feeling the pressure right now as much as Haru. That was exactly why Akira decided to surprise her with an invitation to spend the day together.

Of course, Akira had his own concerns about the upcoming heist against Okumura (namely, worrying about outwitting Akechi and making sure that he didn’t kill Okumura’s Shadow), but ultimately, he was choosing to try his best to hold onto the hope that things would go well--and just like Ryuji had done for him, Akira wanted to try and share a bit of that optimism with someone else who needed it.

After sending her a text and confirming that she was available, Akira went to meet up with Haru at Inokashira Park, giving her a small yet genuine smile as soon as he spotted her approaching the entrance.

“Um…,” Haru tentatively began, after exchanging greetings, “not that I mind, but… are you sure we have time to be hanging out like this…? Father seems to be growing agitated more and more easily lately….”

“We only need one more day to get to the treasure, and then we’ll send the calling card. I promise, we’re right on schedule,” Akira replied, his smile softening slightly as he added, “Now, no more of that--I invited you out so we could just take it easy and enjoy the day, so let’s take our minds off of business and focus on having some fun.”

It took a moment, but finally Haru seemed to relax, the nervousness melting off of her face as a smile took its place.

“Well, you  _ have _ been doing this for much longer than I have… so if you think there’s no need to worry, then I believe you.”

Akira was tempted to laugh--she had  _ no _ idea just how much longer he’d  _ really _ been doing this for, by now--but he restrained the urge, and instead offered her his arm with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“Well then, my lady, shall we be off?”

Haru giggled and took his arm, playing along as she replied, “Why yes, kind sir, we shall!”

Satisfied to see Haru already looking more at ease with her spirits lifted, Akira led the way into the park with Haru keeping pace by his side.

They leisurely ambled around the park together, stopping for a moment at a cart vendor for some ice cream to stave off the brutal summer heat and sitting by the lake to eat it before it could melt, with conversation and laughter flowing easily between the two of them.

After they finished cooling off, they resumed their languid stroll down one of the many winding pathways in the park, a comfortable silence falling between them that Haru was the first to break.

“No matter how many times I come here, I’m always amazed by how beautiful it is,” she said, her gaze flitting around to take in all of the greenery around them.

Akira hummed in agreement. “It’s peaceful, isn’t it? Being surrounded by nature, I mean.”

“It is! My heart always feels at ease in places like this,” Haru agreed with a soft smile. “Even just tending to the garden at school is enough to fill me with a sense of peace and tranquility.”

Akira was about to agree with her before realizing, to his sheepish embarrassment, that he shouldn’t have any way of knowing yet that Haru was the one that managed the rooftop garden at the school.

Maybe he was starting to get a little too relaxed himself, if he almost made a slip-up like that.

“So you’re the one that takes care of that little garden on the roof?” Akira asked. “I always figured someone was looking after it, but Ryuji, Ann and I never bumped into anyone whenever we went up there.”

“Well… truthfully, I have seen you three going up to the roof occasionally, and I never wanted to disturb you, so I always waited until you left before going up to check on the garden,” Haru replied with a hint of shy sheepishness.

Akira hummed in thought for a moment before speaking up. “Well, once summer vacation is over… would you want some help? I have some experience with managing a garden, so I’m sure we could really make it thrive, between the two of us.”

“Really?” Haru’s expression immediately lit up in response. “If you don’t mind, then… yes, I would appreciate that very much! Thank you!”

“No problem, what are friends for?”

“Friends… yes, I suppose you’re right,” Haru replied, her expression softening into a grateful look that Akira knew all too well.

It was the look of someone who had been alone for far too long, who felt blessed to know that they finally had people in their life that they could be truly  _ happy _ with--people that wholeheartedly supported them and loved them no matter what.

(It was a look that Akira saw in the mirror more and more often, the longer this perfect timeline lasted for.)

Akira smiled and gave her arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze--and as they resumed their companionable stroll, Akira found his resolve strengthening even more than it already was.

Okumura was going to live. It had been years--decades, even--since he bothered even attempting to save Okumura’s life, so he honestly wasn’t sure what would happen if (no,  _ once _ ) he managed to pull it off, but… he wasn’t going to let that scare him, not when the alternative was Haru losing out on her chance for her father to properly make amends with her.

It wasn’t like he was fighting this hard just for his own sake--there would be no point to any of this if any of his friends ended up miserable in any way by the end. He could never be happy with a timeline like that, regardless of how Ryuji felt about him.

No matter what, Akira swore that he wouldn’t let anything ruin this perfect timeline: not for him, nor for any of his loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Have I made it obvious enough yet that ShuHaru is one of my favorite Akira ships after Pegoryu because I love them together so much~~


End file.
